Sometimes The Cap'n just has to disagree with his textbook, no matter how authoritative the source is.
In James Naremore's otherwise quite thorough book More Than Night: Film Noir and Its Contexts, he devotes a portion of Chapter 4, "Low is High" to attack Joe Bob Briggs. For those of you not familiar with Briggs, he prides himself on being a fan of "low" cinema; you can find him providing commentaries for movies like I Spit on Your Grave and Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter. He is also the author of a handful of books, including Profoundly Disturbing, Profoundly Erotic, and Joe Bob Goes to the Drive In, none of which I have read, but I'd like to.
Naremore considers him to be the very worst kind of champion for "low art", a far cry from the days of Manny Farber. In "Low is High", which is about the blending of low rent crime films and artistic criticism, Joe Bob appears as a figure of derision who "seems to be making fun of both the establishment and the Bible Belt yahoos, but in reality his cultural politics are quite safe". Naremore calls Briggs an "ersatz good old boy - a crefully contructed persona who enjoys redneck camp and who writes about a 'drive-in' culture that no longer exists (if it ever did)"(161)
I do not challenge Naremore's right to look down upon Joe Bob Briggs, and it does not surprise me that a "serious" film critic would do so. There is little toleration in the critical community for artifice or rebelliousness, so he's welcome to accuse Briggs of playing it "safe". What did raise my ire is the second half Naremore's contention, that a drive-in culture never existed, or that it is a fabrication on the part of Briggs.
Most of "Low is High" is devoted to refuting the myth that much of film noir consisted of "B" pictures interspersed with a few "A" movies. Included in that is a breakdown of the difference (both in stature and in budget) between the two kinds of movies, the history of Republic Pictures, Alliance Entertainment, and the birth of American International Pictures towards the end of the classic "noir" cycle.
It also gives me the earliest written usage of the term "grindhouse", from 1947, although Naremore points out that the movie the critic refers to a "typical" is actually a Hollywood A picture based on an Ernest Hemingway story (The Killers).
Naremore does not refute the existence of the grindhouse in large cities, but conveniently ignores the fact that smaller towns and rural areas did not typically have more than one movie theatre downtown. The local theatre would, in fact, play the "A" picture and a "B" picture with cartoons, newsreels, and short subjects. They would be extremely unlikely, however, to play the kinds of movies Briggs champions. Those films fell into the domain of the Drive-In.
I remember well into the eighties a drive-in somewhere in Raleigh called The Starlight* listed in the newspaper. I don't remember when it closed, but since we didn't have a "grindhouse" so to speak**, movies that would never play in a first run theatre or the burgeoining multiplex would show up at The Starlight.
But to actually cover the "drive-in culture" that Briggs defends and Naremore denies, we have to go back before the Cap'n was born. It brings about the crucial distinction between the drive in during its heyday and the dying days of the scene during the 80s and 90s: home video.
The reason I believe the "drive-in culture" had to exist was because there was no such thing as home video in the late seventies, and it wasn't widely available until the mid-to-late eighties for most middle class families. This didn't stop movies from being made that no Downtown movie theatre would play. The 70s is a repository for all sorts of "B" to "Z" cinema that wasn't made to go "direct to video", because such a thing didn't exist. The existence of Z Channel or HBO does not support the idea of films being made for television in the late seventies. So where did movies like I Spit On Your Grave, Robot Monster and Last House on the Left play? The Drive In!
Did "A" pictures play there too? I'm certain they did, but I bet you couldn't find Night of the Living Dead playing at the theatre next to the drugstore. In big cities, sure it probably made it to a smaller theatre or even a "grindhouse", but where that option doesn't exist, the drive-in is the logical alternative. Not to mention the ability to hang out in your car, smoke, drink, make out, or generally kick back and watch a movie.
All of this leads me to believe that there was such a thing as a "drive-in culture", if for no other reason than it would be fun to go to one every week. They offered different choices, double bills, and provided a more relaxed atmosphere than the local movie house. As the multiplex grew in stature, the option to see more than one movie clearly cut down on that angle, and the popularity of home video allowed people to enjoy movies at home in an even more relaxed atmosphere. The Grindhouse and The Drive-In faded, and are now both something of an abstraction; a memory.
James Naremore is quite right to differentiate between our conception of the "B" movie and the reality, and to shed some light on how we understand the history of some films, but I cannot agree that because one is misunderstood, the other cannot exist. There are simply too many movies produced in the era of the "B" film which serve no other purpose but to help support the "drive-in culture", whether he chooses to believe so or not.
* Please feel free to correct me, but I swear it was called The Starlight Drive In. We drove past it once or twice, and I'm almost positive that was the name.
* the closest Raleigh ever had to one was The Studio, which was technically two screens but otherwise pretty much fit the criteria
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Horror Fest III, Day Two: The Orphanage
Our final movie tonight, after many a folk decided sleep was in their best interest (despite the extra hour) was The Orphanage, a bedtime story / fairytale that is in many points quite creepy. Thankfully, not creepy in the way you'd expect it to be (at least in the end), but still unnerving and occasionally enough to unsettle you.
What you don't hear as much about the film is how the story is more about dealing with loss than uncovering some kind of ghostly mystery (although there's a fair share of that too). In a lot of ways The Orphanage reminded me of Lady in White, but the crucial distinction for the former is that while it is spooky and quite suspenseful, there's also a pervasive sadness, even in moments like the psychic trance.
It's an easily recommended movie, even if you get spooked without much provocation. Watching it alone in the dark might not be ideal, but it's a fine film and well worth checking out.
For now, the Cap'n is uncertain about how long (if at all) the fest will continue into tomorrow. Unlike Summer Fest, I have schoolwork which must be attended to and looking forward to the week ahead is paramount.
After Trailer Sunday recaps our movies, I might throw up some pictures of Shecky the Halloween Skeleton, DJ Spooks, and the little red demon dude, along with a handful of other pictures (and maybe video) of the Fest. What didn't necessarily get coverage was Adam's awesome selection of alcoholic beverages and the drinking game that pushed The Happening way into the stratosphere*.
How much of The Wickeremake and Horror of the Blood Beasts we got through is another tale worth telling, but right now I'm keen on bed. Sure, the clock says 5:38, but it feels like 6:38...
Since I'm unsure about tomorrow, I'd like to go ahead and thank our Horror Fest III spooksters: Adam, Neil, Tom, Liz, Randy, Andrea, Ben, Nathan, Chris(?), Barrett, Phillippi, Riannon, Dominic, Mike, Paula, and dude who's name I forgot but he was here with the Rianimator. As always, a Horror Fest is only as much fun as the people who come to it, and I have to say it was fun.
* hint: if you're wondering why there was such an emphasis on "deez nuts" after Freddy's Dead, it had a LOT to do with The Happening drinking game...
What you don't hear as much about the film is how the story is more about dealing with loss than uncovering some kind of ghostly mystery (although there's a fair share of that too). In a lot of ways The Orphanage reminded me of Lady in White, but the crucial distinction for the former is that while it is spooky and quite suspenseful, there's also a pervasive sadness, even in moments like the psychic trance.
It's an easily recommended movie, even if you get spooked without much provocation. Watching it alone in the dark might not be ideal, but it's a fine film and well worth checking out.
For now, the Cap'n is uncertain about how long (if at all) the fest will continue into tomorrow. Unlike Summer Fest, I have schoolwork which must be attended to and looking forward to the week ahead is paramount.
After Trailer Sunday recaps our movies, I might throw up some pictures of Shecky the Halloween Skeleton, DJ Spooks, and the little red demon dude, along with a handful of other pictures (and maybe video) of the Fest. What didn't necessarily get coverage was Adam's awesome selection of alcoholic beverages and the drinking game that pushed The Happening way into the stratosphere*.
How much of The Wickeremake and Horror of the Blood Beasts we got through is another tale worth telling, but right now I'm keen on bed. Sure, the clock says 5:38, but it feels like 6:38...
Since I'm unsure about tomorrow, I'd like to go ahead and thank our Horror Fest III spooksters: Adam, Neil, Tom, Liz, Randy, Andrea, Ben, Nathan, Chris(?), Barrett, Phillippi, Riannon, Dominic, Mike, Paula, and dude who's name I forgot but he was here with the Rianimator. As always, a Horror Fest is only as much fun as the people who come to it, and I have to say it was fun.
* hint: if you're wondering why there was such an emphasis on "deez nuts" after Freddy's Dead, it had a LOT to do with The Happening drinking game...
Horror Fest III Day 2: The Most Incredible Triple Feature Ever!
Ladies and gentlemen of the blogorium, I submit to you that the Cap'n provided a one, two, three punch of awesomeness that you had to be here to fully appreciate.
We started with the Paul Lynde Halloween Special of nineteen hundred and seventy six, which finds a way of making you wish what you're seeing will end only to make it that much worse in the next scene. See, for no apparent reason, Lynde a) forgets what holiday it is, b) sings "Kids" from the Bye Bye Birdie soundtrack (with Donnie and Marie Osmond), c) is friends with Witchie Poo and The Wicked Witch of the West.
The witches give him three wishes, so Lynde becomes Big Red the Rhinestone Trucker, some sultan, and then takes the witches to a Hollywood disco, all with the help of Tim Conway, Florence Henderson, Betty White, and Kiss. For some reason Paul Lynde plays the ladies man for 2/3 rds of these wishes, which is even funnier since he's clearly not feeling it. There are also some very inappropriate jokes which I shan't repeat. And Peter Criss sings "Beth", which you think is as bad as it's gonna get, but then Florence Henderson sings, and it goes downhill from there.
---
That was the warm up act for the return of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, which folks got to see a) for the first time or b) against their will.
For the Cap'n, the third time was in fact the charm, but I'll hand the blogging dutires over to one of our H-Fest goers, who has something he needs to say on the subject of nuts:
Who is the most captivating character in "Freddy's Dead: the Final Nightmare"?
Who Dropped the most F-Bombs at Horror Fest 3?
Who was the first to pass out from substance abuse?
Who was the first person to leave during the happening?
Hey, did ummm whathisname dun get atcho yesterday?
Who is the most influential figure in 20th century Kino?
...
...
...
SPOILER ALERT!
SPOILER ALERT!
...
...
...
...
Deeeeeeeeezzzzzz Nuuuuutz!
This is the Tominator here, taking over for Doctor -- Nay, Professor Murder. Seems he had a case of prostate examination on the brain. In any case, I am having a hard time digesting The Happening as being anything but a wretched, 90-minute low-brow attempt at thriller detournement. No, I can't even really justify the palpability of this movie as being a means through which it destroys or satirizes the entire oeuvre of horror-thriller. Thinking that Shitalawn had any ideas in his head relating to or borne out of knowledge of poststructural theory is absurd. This movie was simply, unabashedly, unabatedly awful. Patently disgusting. Quite possibly the worst thing I've ever seen. From the gratuitous "social commentary" that conflates worldwide human-wrought disaster with the few problems with nuclear power to the atrocious acting, despite Marky Mark's naive earnestness, The Happening can only have one thing said about it, one thing that sums up what this movie is about and what it tries to communicate:
DEEEEEEEZZZZ NUUUUUUU-UUUUUUUTTTTTZZZZZZ!!!!
Fuckin a right.
Josh takes over now. DEEZ NUTS.
For some reason (let's just say it involved a LOT of beer), that was the funniest thing ever to two of our Horror Fest attendees during Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, which if you hadn't guessed was the third part of our trifecta.
We watched it 3-D, which was AMAZING, it turns out. Right now, Horror of the Blood Monsters is playing, in 2-D unfortunately. Otherwise known as Vampire Men of the Lost Planet, it's the only movie I never actually finished. The challenge to them is to see how far they can get before it turns off. When they finally give up, I'll let them watch a real movie.
I apologize about all the nuts. They're still laughing like hyenas.
We started with the Paul Lynde Halloween Special of nineteen hundred and seventy six, which finds a way of making you wish what you're seeing will end only to make it that much worse in the next scene. See, for no apparent reason, Lynde a) forgets what holiday it is, b) sings "Kids" from the Bye Bye Birdie soundtrack (with Donnie and Marie Osmond), c) is friends with Witchie Poo and The Wicked Witch of the West.
The witches give him three wishes, so Lynde becomes Big Red the Rhinestone Trucker, some sultan, and then takes the witches to a Hollywood disco, all with the help of Tim Conway, Florence Henderson, Betty White, and Kiss. For some reason Paul Lynde plays the ladies man for 2/3 rds of these wishes, which is even funnier since he's clearly not feeling it. There are also some very inappropriate jokes which I shan't repeat. And Peter Criss sings "Beth", which you think is as bad as it's gonna get, but then Florence Henderson sings, and it goes downhill from there.
---
That was the warm up act for the return of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, which folks got to see a) for the first time or b) against their will.
For the Cap'n, the third time was in fact the charm, but I'll hand the blogging dutires over to one of our H-Fest goers, who has something he needs to say on the subject of nuts:
Who is the most captivating character in "Freddy's Dead: the Final Nightmare"?
Who Dropped the most F-Bombs at Horror Fest 3?
Who was the first to pass out from substance abuse?
Who was the first person to leave during the happening?
Hey, did ummm whathisname dun get atcho yesterday?
Who is the most influential figure in 20th century Kino?
...
...
...
SPOILER ALERT!
SPOILER ALERT!
...
...
...
...
Deeeeeeeeezzzzzz Nuuuuutz!
This is the Tominator here, taking over for Doctor -- Nay, Professor Murder. Seems he had a case of prostate examination on the brain. In any case, I am having a hard time digesting The Happening as being anything but a wretched, 90-minute low-brow attempt at thriller detournement. No, I can't even really justify the palpability of this movie as being a means through which it destroys or satirizes the entire oeuvre of horror-thriller. Thinking that Shitalawn had any ideas in his head relating to or borne out of knowledge of poststructural theory is absurd. This movie was simply, unabashedly, unabatedly awful. Patently disgusting. Quite possibly the worst thing I've ever seen. From the gratuitous "social commentary" that conflates worldwide human-wrought disaster with the few problems with nuclear power to the atrocious acting, despite Marky Mark's naive earnestness, The Happening can only have one thing said about it, one thing that sums up what this movie is about and what it tries to communicate:
DEEEEEEEZZZZ NUUUUUUU-UUUUUUUTTTTTZZZZZZ!!!!
Fuckin a right.
Josh takes over now. DEEZ NUTS.
For some reason (let's just say it involved a LOT of beer), that was the funniest thing ever to two of our Horror Fest attendees during Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, which if you hadn't guessed was the third part of our trifecta.
We watched it 3-D, which was AMAZING, it turns out. Right now, Horror of the Blood Monsters is playing, in 2-D unfortunately. Otherwise known as Vampire Men of the Lost Planet, it's the only movie I never actually finished. The challenge to them is to see how far they can get before it turns off. When they finally give up, I'll let them watch a real movie.
I apologize about all the nuts. They're still laughing like hyenas.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Horror Fest III Day 2: Blood Feast and Child’s Play 2
Blood Feast remains about the sleaziest horror movie you can make. Herschell Gordon Lewis is half interested in showing bad torture scenes with fake blood and even faker body parts, but let's be honest here: the focus of Blood Feast is the buxom ladies in bathing suits and underwear.
The masculine gaze is in full, perverse effect during Blood Feast, and story is a distant second. Admittedly, Lewis is working with a very low budget, and when you don't have much for effects or actors or anything else, sometimes the best defense is to aim for the male libido. The egyptian blood feast itself (or the ridiculous flashback sequence) is secondary to cheap titillation. It's similar territory to Wizard of Gore, but lacking the sadistic comedy of Two Thousand Maniacs.
All this in a scant sixty-seven minutes.
---
Child's Play 2 remains the shiznit. The movie's too short for flaws to have any time to creep in, so you're free to sit back and enjoy Chucky's reign of carnage. Better still, the production values, camerawork, and score actually trick you into thinking Child's Play 2 is a higher rate film than any horror sequel has any right to be.
Think about it: Freddy's Revenge? Looks like crap. Friday the 13th Part 2? Low budget all the way. Halloween II? Well, I don't know what the hell was going on, but still pretty cheap. Child's Play 2, on the other hand, looks like a movie that the studio cared about, and that's kind of surprising considering we're talking about the sequel to a killer doll movie.
It's still awesome, and I will hear no ill spoken of it. Any time it's on tv, I'll be there. Yessir.
The masculine gaze is in full, perverse effect during Blood Feast, and story is a distant second. Admittedly, Lewis is working with a very low budget, and when you don't have much for effects or actors or anything else, sometimes the best defense is to aim for the male libido. The egyptian blood feast itself (or the ridiculous flashback sequence) is secondary to cheap titillation. It's similar territory to Wizard of Gore, but lacking the sadistic comedy of Two Thousand Maniacs.
All this in a scant sixty-seven minutes.
---
Child's Play 2 remains the shiznit. The movie's too short for flaws to have any time to creep in, so you're free to sit back and enjoy Chucky's reign of carnage. Better still, the production values, camerawork, and score actually trick you into thinking Child's Play 2 is a higher rate film than any horror sequel has any right to be.
Think about it: Freddy's Revenge? Looks like crap. Friday the 13th Part 2? Low budget all the way. Halloween II? Well, I don't know what the hell was going on, but still pretty cheap. Child's Play 2, on the other hand, looks like a movie that the studio cared about, and that's kind of surprising considering we're talking about the sequel to a killer doll movie.
It's still awesome, and I will hear no ill spoken of it. Any time it's on tv, I'll be there. Yessir.
Horror Fest III Day 2: Blade Trinity
Before you scoff, understand that Neil had never seen Blade Trinity, save for its tv airings, which doesn't actually count as seeing the film at all. It's not a matter of the violence, but writer/director David Goyer's hodgepodge dialogue consisting of bad jokes and random profanity is pretty much lost on cable television.
The film remains as bad as it ever was; a testament to why you should never allow the writer of a series to become a first-time director with total creative control. It's not just that Ryan Reynolds is so annoying that other characters hate him as much as the audience does. It's not just that Blade really has nothing to do except hang around and ignore monologues from Natascha Lyonne, Patton Oswalt, Jessica Biel, and Kris Kristofferson. It isn't even that John Michael Higgins or Parker Posey seem to be in a much different movie than Blade Trinity.
Honestly, you can work out how dumb and ill conceived the movie is in three letters: HHH.
I'm guessing most of you (other than Cranpire) don't know who Triple H is, which is fine. This isn't a situation like The Rock where you probably know him more for his movies than the wrestling at this point. Triple H pretty much just made Blade Trinity and said "well, that's good for me". All he does in the movie other than beat Ryan Reynolds up is get angry about dick jokes and play with a vampire pomeranian*.
The big bad guy,Dracula er, Drake, is "the original vampire, and like the great white shark, he's never needed to evolve", which means Dominic Purcell from Prison Break wanders around to a RZA song sampling The Velvet Underground and beating up goth kids. Actually, that scene's pretty funny. Drake finds himself in a store that inexplicably only sells Dracula-related merchandise. I think the Count Chocula does him in, but some believe it's the Dracula vibrator. I'll let you be the judge.
Goyer also includes brilliant ideas like making random characters speak Esperanto and, to really hammer it home, includes footage from the William Shatner Esperanto epic Incubus. Of course, if you don't know what either are, this trivia is totally lost on you and Blade Trinity continues looking stupid and arbitrary.
Oh wait, it is. And I'm not even going into Jessica Biel's darkcore trip hop techno ipod mix that she kills vamps to. Seriously, if you ever thought "why didn't they make Blade 4?" aside from the Wesley Snipes being in jail thing, watch Blade Trinity. If you can make it past Triple H giving the finger to the sun two minutes in withouth laughing, this movie is for you.
This does however serve us well for the direction tonight's headed in, which is one of laughter and horror. As I'm typing this, Herschell Gordon Lewis' Blood Feast is playing in the other room, and it's going to get better from there. I am hell bent on watchin Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II and Child's Play 2 before the night is out...
* see what I mean? this movie's retarded!
The film remains as bad as it ever was; a testament to why you should never allow the writer of a series to become a first-time director with total creative control. It's not just that Ryan Reynolds is so annoying that other characters hate him as much as the audience does. It's not just that Blade really has nothing to do except hang around and ignore monologues from Natascha Lyonne, Patton Oswalt, Jessica Biel, and Kris Kristofferson. It isn't even that John Michael Higgins or Parker Posey seem to be in a much different movie than Blade Trinity.
Honestly, you can work out how dumb and ill conceived the movie is in three letters: HHH.
I'm guessing most of you (other than Cranpire) don't know who Triple H is, which is fine. This isn't a situation like The Rock where you probably know him more for his movies than the wrestling at this point. Triple H pretty much just made Blade Trinity and said "well, that's good for me". All he does in the movie other than beat Ryan Reynolds up is get angry about dick jokes and play with a vampire pomeranian*.
The big bad guy,
Goyer also includes brilliant ideas like making random characters speak Esperanto and, to really hammer it home, includes footage from the William Shatner Esperanto epic Incubus. Of course, if you don't know what either are, this trivia is totally lost on you and Blade Trinity continues looking stupid and arbitrary.
Oh wait, it is. And I'm not even going into Jessica Biel's darkcore trip hop techno ipod mix that she kills vamps to. Seriously, if you ever thought "why didn't they make Blade 4?" aside from the Wesley Snipes being in jail thing, watch Blade Trinity. If you can make it past Triple H giving the finger to the sun two minutes in withouth laughing, this movie is for you.
This does however serve us well for the direction tonight's headed in, which is one of laughter and horror. As I'm typing this, Herschell Gordon Lewis' Blood Feast is playing in the other room, and it's going to get better from there. I am hell bent on watchin Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II and Child's Play 2 before the night is out...
* see what I mean? this movie's retarded!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Horror Fest III Day 1: The Mist (in glorious black and white)
Although Mssrs Davis and White slept through various portions of The Mist (it was 3am when we started), I believe both of them enjoyed the film. Liz and Randy did as well, and I'm just going to have to disagree about the "top 4 worst ending" ever that Mr. Cranpire feels the film deserves.
Turns out that black and white really suits the film well. Not only do the dodgy cg effects look better, but the grocery store feels more claustrophobic. The mist itself becomes more oppressive when the grays are drained out; the impenetrable whiteness makes shapes in the distance all the more unnerving.
As everyone is turning in, The Orphanage will have to wait for tomorrow, but we're off to a good start. The Cap'n and friends will be back soon with more updates from the Season of the Beast.
G'nite.
Turns out that black and white really suits the film well. Not only do the dodgy cg effects look better, but the grocery store feels more claustrophobic. The mist itself becomes more oppressive when the grays are drained out; the impenetrable whiteness makes shapes in the distance all the more unnerving.
As everyone is turning in, The Orphanage will have to wait for tomorrow, but we're off to a good start. The Cap'n and friends will be back soon with more updates from the Season of the Beast.
G'nite.
Horror Fest III Day 1: Man, I wish we hadn’t seen The Ruins!
The Cap'n points his mighty finger of shame towards any and all of you who recommended The Ruins as a "must see" horror film. You can't really have an audience more ready for this kind of film, and every single one of us agree that is sucks the big one.
From the get go this movie was going in bad directions, and it never got better. To be honest, I was constantly reminded of Feast, a movie where only the idiot characters live into the second act. Unfortunately for The Ruins, it's not a horror comedy (at least intentionally).
We should've known things were bad when half way in I started complimenting the mountains in the background and not the film itself. At this time, I feel it's important to pass this on to two separate opinions. Adam watched the movie in a very particular way, and Neil has some thoughts to share as well:
Mr. Davis - So here's the sitch. A couple of moderately hot chicks hang out on some ancient temple with a guy who we will tentatively call " the HJ collector". First the guy collects an HJ from the blonde, then he unsuccessfully tries to collect a Hotel Juliet from the brunette. This pisses the blonde off. The blonde, and the HJ collector get eaten by plants, then the brunette's boyfriend gets shot by Ganja Farmers and God knows what happened to the brunette because I really stopped carring after the HJ collector died.
Mr. White - I don't remember much about The Ruins already because I was distracted by Adam's running commentary, which should tell you all you need to know about how interesting a movie it is. There were some brutal deaths, and a sad attempt at a foreign language. There was a guy who got shot in the face, and that was pretty cool. This was just another example of the tired Twentysomethings On Vacation cliche that never seems to work no matter how many times it's tried. It's not that what happens to them isn't interesting, it's just you don't care. And even though this movie is much more successful in making plants scary than say, The Crappening, that's not saying a whole lot. I've owned houseplants scarier than those. Honestly, don't worry about it, just watch Adam's version.
The Cap'n here with one final note involving an "alternate" ending. A semi-superior ending to The Ruins is on the dvd (not the theatrical ending). Instead of some dumb shot of random people walking back to the ruins, there's a graveyard scene involving a caretaker discovering the plants growing out of Jena Malone's (the brunette, non-hj giver) grave.
What's funny is not that ending, but that the grave only says "Amy" on it. No last name, no attempt at anything else, just "Amy". It's kind of silly, considering how that would've been the preferable ending, save for one lazy prop. Such a waste of a movie.
Up next: The Mist (in black and white) then The Orphanage. No sleep after that...
From the get go this movie was going in bad directions, and it never got better. To be honest, I was constantly reminded of Feast, a movie where only the idiot characters live into the second act. Unfortunately for The Ruins, it's not a horror comedy (at least intentionally).
We should've known things were bad when half way in I started complimenting the mountains in the background and not the film itself. At this time, I feel it's important to pass this on to two separate opinions. Adam watched the movie in a very particular way, and Neil has some thoughts to share as well:
Mr. Davis - So here's the sitch. A couple of moderately hot chicks hang out on some ancient temple with a guy who we will tentatively call " the HJ collector". First the guy collects an HJ from the blonde, then he unsuccessfully tries to collect a Hotel Juliet from the brunette. This pisses the blonde off. The blonde, and the HJ collector get eaten by plants, then the brunette's boyfriend gets shot by Ganja Farmers and God knows what happened to the brunette because I really stopped carring after the HJ collector died.
Mr. White - I don't remember much about The Ruins already because I was distracted by Adam's running commentary, which should tell you all you need to know about how interesting a movie it is. There were some brutal deaths, and a sad attempt at a foreign language. There was a guy who got shot in the face, and that was pretty cool. This was just another example of the tired Twentysomethings On Vacation cliche that never seems to work no matter how many times it's tried. It's not that what happens to them isn't interesting, it's just you don't care. And even though this movie is much more successful in making plants scary than say, The Crappening, that's not saying a whole lot. I've owned houseplants scarier than those. Honestly, don't worry about it, just watch Adam's version.
The Cap'n here with one final note involving an "alternate" ending. A semi-superior ending to The Ruins is on the dvd (not the theatrical ending). Instead of some dumb shot of random people walking back to the ruins, there's a graveyard scene involving a caretaker discovering the plants growing out of Jena Malone's (the brunette, non-hj giver) grave.
What's funny is not that ending, but that the grave only says "Amy" on it. No last name, no attempt at anything else, just "Amy". It's kind of silly, considering how that would've been the preferable ending, save for one lazy prop. Such a waste of a movie.
Up next: The Mist (in black and white) then The Orphanage. No sleep after that...
Horror Fest III Day 1: Triple Feature
Hey gang, the Cap'n checking in live and direct from Horror Fest III: Season of the Beast! We're taking a break to move our dead bones so I can update you on our first three features: Halloween, Faces of Death, and Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, all in glorious High Definition.
Some notes from the world of 1080p:
- I'd never noticed that when Bruce Campbell is creating the chainsaw arm, you can clearly see Freddy Krueger's glove behind him in the "hero shot". You can also now see the cable holding one of the possessed actors up, which is um, unfortunate.
- Halloween does not hurt in any way from high definition. Like Evil Dead 2, there is some noticeable grain in the night scenes, but both of them look much better than I would have expected.
- I've never actually watched Halloween on Halloween, but it turns out the cliche is worth overlooking because it's great for public consumption.
- Shecky the Skeleton is the best stand up comedian ever. You should come and meet him.
And now Liz is going to tell you a little bit about Faces of Death on Blu-Ray:
If anything was ever worthy of Blue-Ray-ifiying it's Faces of Death. Playful pitbulls covered in dyed corn syrup and public park-dwelling crocs never looked so real or so ferocious...even in real life. I would write more, but I've been distracted by the aquatic giga-pet thingy on Josh's desk. Look how it dances!
Off to watch some more classics in HD, so I'll be back for more updates as they come. Honestly though, it'd be easier for you to join us. Or maybe if someone had a laptop. Still, the Cap'n aims to please his audience.
Uh oh. Someone's requesting the remake of The Wicker Man.
Some notes from the world of 1080p:
- I'd never noticed that when Bruce Campbell is creating the chainsaw arm, you can clearly see Freddy Krueger's glove behind him in the "hero shot". You can also now see the cable holding one of the possessed actors up, which is um, unfortunate.
- Halloween does not hurt in any way from high definition. Like Evil Dead 2, there is some noticeable grain in the night scenes, but both of them look much better than I would have expected.
- I've never actually watched Halloween on Halloween, but it turns out the cliche is worth overlooking because it's great for public consumption.
- Shecky the Skeleton is the best stand up comedian ever. You should come and meet him.
And now Liz is going to tell you a little bit about Faces of Death on Blu-Ray:
If anything was ever worthy of Blue-Ray-ifiying it's Faces of Death. Playful pitbulls covered in dyed corn syrup and public park-dwelling crocs never looked so real or so ferocious...even in real life. I would write more, but I've been distracted by the aquatic giga-pet thingy on Josh's desk. Look how it dances!
Off to watch some more classics in HD, so I'll be back for more updates as they come. Honestly though, it'd be easier for you to join us. Or maybe if someone had a laptop. Still, the Cap'n aims to please his audience.
Uh oh. Someone's requesting the remake of The Wicker Man.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Horror Fest III: The Prequel!
The Cap'n is busier than carp doing whatever carp do getting ready for
tomorrow night, so I have to be quicker than usual. Don't get me wrong; I've really enjoyed writing these long pieces about discovering movies and "old school" vs "new school". That's definitely something I want to pursue, particularly because writing longer pieces is what The Cap'n wants to do for a living.
However, I also need to get things together for the pre-Horror Fest double feature of movies, madness, gore, trailers, and ZIM!!! on campus. I did decide on two quite suitable movies, one of which came recommended from Mssr. Ledbetter (In the Mouth of Madness) and the other Peter Jackson's Dead Alive.
Dead Alive may be the only movie that's ever made me sick to my stomach (aside from the "urine ice cream cone" scene in Jackass), and that's for the "custard" sequence alone. Not looking forward to watching that on a 40" HD tv*.
It is, however, the kind of movie you can show to the Army of Darkness set that straddles the fine line between horror and comedy, and will offset Madness for its bleak ending. The trailer reel I put together (which is really difficult if you're looking for downloadable trailers in .mov file legally) is a curious cross section that I hope they enjoy, and everyone likes ZIM!!!
---
The Cap'n did notice an interview with Paul Giamatti which indicates that not only is Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires still alive, but in the absence of Bruce, they've found a new Elvis.
Ron Perlman.
It's weird... okay, really weird, but it could be very cool. Giamatti seems genuinely enthused about the project (and this is before it's even begun filming) and Don Coscarelli is writing and directing again. Bubba Ho-Tep was kind of lightning in a bottle, but there's certainly promise for more weirdness and I for one am interested.
More interested than I am in My Name is Bruce, anyway.
---
Okay, the Cap'n has much to do before he sleeps, so I have to leave you to clean up and prepare a possible spillover from campus to AOS (aka Fest HQ) tonight. You kids be good and I'll be back with regular reports after each of our films for "DAY ONE: CLASSICS IN HD"
* not mine, though. the rc-ers, so impressed by my theoretical tv they've never seen, purchased a comparable size and type. tonight will be the first time they've ever used it, which is something of an honor for me.
HORROR FEST III: SEASON OF THE BEAST
tomorrow night, so I have to be quicker than usual. Don't get me wrong; I've really enjoyed writing these long pieces about discovering movies and "old school" vs "new school". That's definitely something I want to pursue, particularly because writing longer pieces is what The Cap'n wants to do for a living.
However, I also need to get things together for the pre-Horror Fest double feature of movies, madness, gore, trailers, and ZIM!!! on campus. I did decide on two quite suitable movies, one of which came recommended from Mssr. Ledbetter (In the Mouth of Madness) and the other Peter Jackson's Dead Alive.
Dead Alive may be the only movie that's ever made me sick to my stomach (aside from the "urine ice cream cone" scene in Jackass), and that's for the "custard" sequence alone. Not looking forward to watching that on a 40" HD tv*.
It is, however, the kind of movie you can show to the Army of Darkness set that straddles the fine line between horror and comedy, and will offset Madness for its bleak ending. The trailer reel I put together (which is really difficult if you're looking for downloadable trailers in .mov file legally) is a curious cross section that I hope they enjoy, and everyone likes ZIM!!!
---
The Cap'n did notice an interview with Paul Giamatti which indicates that not only is Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires still alive, but in the absence of Bruce, they've found a new Elvis.
Ron Perlman.
It's weird... okay, really weird, but it could be very cool. Giamatti seems genuinely enthused about the project (and this is before it's even begun filming) and Don Coscarelli is writing and directing again. Bubba Ho-Tep was kind of lightning in a bottle, but there's certainly promise for more weirdness and I for one am interested.
More interested than I am in My Name is Bruce, anyway.
---
Okay, the Cap'n has much to do before he sleeps, so I have to leave you to clean up and prepare a possible spillover from campus to AOS (aka Fest HQ) tonight. You kids be good and I'll be back with regular reports after each of our films for "DAY ONE: CLASSICS IN HD"
* not mine, though. the rc-ers, so impressed by my theoretical tv they've never seen, purchased a comparable size and type. tonight will be the first time they've ever used it, which is something of an honor for me.
Horror Fest III: Day Zero / One
Before the Cap'n goes to bed, I thought it'd be fun to share the experience of impromptu marathoniness.
In the Mouth of Madness and Dead Alive were punctuated by episodes of Invader Zim and a trailer reel I put together at HQ. (The Zim episodes, for those curious, were "Dark Harvest", "Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy", and "Room with a Moose"). While turnout wasn't ginormous, the people I thought would be there did in fact arrive and they seemed to enjoy Madness.
Dead Alive went over much better, but Dead Alive is always going to win in a heads up match with In the Mouth of Madness. I forgot how quaintly nineties Madness is in the beginning, which makes the slow burn a little harder to get into for folks who didn't see it the first time around. Once John Trent (Sam Neill) gets to Hobb's End, the movie settles in and I could tell people were starting to follow the movie. I don't think it creeped anyone out as The Haunting might have, but it did serve as a good set up piece for vintage Peter Jackson.
It turns out I might have undersold the degree of gore and generally disgusting bodily fluids in Dead Alive, because despite my warning about the custard sequence, people were still covering their eyes, turning away, or walking halfway out of the basement. Not that I blame them, and we lost a few people (mostly to exhaustion) before the movie was over. And yet, as it always does, the strange charm of the "goriest movie ever made" managed to win over people who'd only heard of it before tonight.
When I got home, Liz came over to watch 1408 as I had promised and delivered upon. Surprise, surprise: it still doesn't really hold up. The movie starts out all right, things kick into high gear when Cusack enters room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel, and then it stumbles.
What I'd forgotten was just how unnecessarily long the dream sequence is, and how patently clear it is he's still in the hotel room the entire time. Worse still is another alternate ending (where he does die but his dream sequence manuscript makes it to agent Tony Shaloub) that makes the "Enslin lives" theatrical ending look almost tolerable.
I take that back, because showing the "Enslin lives" ending reminded me of how much of a cheat it is considering the steps 1408 takes to remind us there is no escaping. Of the three endings I'm still taking the "director's cut", which is at least melancholy, but by that point 1408 isn't so much looking to be redeemed as it is salvaged.
Tomorrow I'll pop something on while I'm setting stuff up, wait for Ad-Rock to get here, and the rest should arrive between 7:30 and 9 for the main attraction.
For anyone not aware, Saturday is daylight savings time, so we get an extra hour of Horror Fest, which none of you are likely to complain about.
Stay scared,
The Cap'n
In the Mouth of Madness and Dead Alive were punctuated by episodes of Invader Zim and a trailer reel I put together at HQ. (The Zim episodes, for those curious, were "Dark Harvest", "Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy", and "Room with a Moose"). While turnout wasn't ginormous, the people I thought would be there did in fact arrive and they seemed to enjoy Madness.
Dead Alive went over much better, but Dead Alive is always going to win in a heads up match with In the Mouth of Madness. I forgot how quaintly nineties Madness is in the beginning, which makes the slow burn a little harder to get into for folks who didn't see it the first time around. Once John Trent (Sam Neill) gets to Hobb's End, the movie settles in and I could tell people were starting to follow the movie. I don't think it creeped anyone out as The Haunting might have, but it did serve as a good set up piece for vintage Peter Jackson.
It turns out I might have undersold the degree of gore and generally disgusting bodily fluids in Dead Alive, because despite my warning about the custard sequence, people were still covering their eyes, turning away, or walking halfway out of the basement. Not that I blame them, and we lost a few people (mostly to exhaustion) before the movie was over. And yet, as it always does, the strange charm of the "goriest movie ever made" managed to win over people who'd only heard of it before tonight.
When I got home, Liz came over to watch 1408 as I had promised and delivered upon. Surprise, surprise: it still doesn't really hold up. The movie starts out all right, things kick into high gear when Cusack enters room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel, and then it stumbles.
What I'd forgotten was just how unnecessarily long the dream sequence is, and how patently clear it is he's still in the hotel room the entire time. Worse still is another alternate ending (where he does die but his dream sequence manuscript makes it to agent Tony Shaloub) that makes the "Enslin lives" theatrical ending look almost tolerable.
I take that back, because showing the "Enslin lives" ending reminded me of how much of a cheat it is considering the steps 1408 takes to remind us there is no escaping. Of the three endings I'm still taking the "director's cut", which is at least melancholy, but by that point 1408 isn't so much looking to be redeemed as it is salvaged.
Tomorrow I'll pop something on while I'm setting stuff up, wait for Ad-Rock to get here, and the rest should arrive between 7:30 and 9 for the main attraction.
For anyone not aware, Saturday is daylight savings time, so we get an extra hour of Horror Fest, which none of you are likely to complain about.
Stay scared,
The Cap'n
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Horror Fest III: Ever Heard of These?
Horror Fest is damn near upon us! While the Cap'n has a damn good idea what he wants to show and when, I'm never against the idea of looking around for more goodies, just in case. While unloading some stuff at Ed McKay's, I dug through the horror section, which I do far less than someone like the Cap'n should, in search of titles I didn't recognize.
Watching horror movies can be a hit and miss experience, and shopping for them (particularly used) can be difficult. Odds are the titles you find are movies you have, have seen, or don't want to see (for example: there are multiple copies of The Ninth Gate, Jeepers Creepers 2, and all of the After Dark releases). Occasionally you'll find a missing piece from your collection, like The Fly II, a really not so great sequel to Cronenberg's remake but damn is it gory. Typically your eyes glaze over, but every now and then, tucked in between public domain releases of Night of the Living Dead and Carnival of Souls*, you see something that makes you say "what the hell is this?".
I found four such titles tonight, all with a pretty good chance of either ruling or sucking, but for 5-8 bucks, it's worth a try:
1.House of the Damned - from the synopsis on the back "Architect Scott Campbell and his wife Nancy join another couple, Joseph and Lay Schillar for what promises to be a pleasant stay at an empty castle set on a secluded California hillside. Soon, however, tension mounts as... a group of ghoulish carnival circus performers who once inhabited the castle beome increasingly hostile towards their 'guests'"
Okay, so we have two normal couples, and "abandoned" castle, and circus freaks? I'm down! And lest ye think this is some bargain basement movie, it comes from 20th Century Fox circa 1963. So this is Fox attempting to rival the Corman cheapies. I have no idea who the people in the cast are, so all signs point to "hell yeah!"
2. Prom Night and Ghoulies IV - The Prom Night is exactly the one you think it is: with Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielsen, but I didn't have a copy and it's the Alliance reissue that's at least widescreen. The more important part is that it's doubled up with Ghoulies IV! Fucking Ghoulies IV!!! I didn't know there was a Ghoulies III, let alone a fourth entry. This is madness.
I fully admit that Ghoulies IV probably sucks sweaty donkey balls, but I have to see it. Ghoulies II played during Horror Fest I and remains a guilty pleasure for the Cap'n. Plus, think of it as buying Prom Night and getting a free shitty sequel in another series.
3. The Unseen - I feel like this title is familiar, but I don't know why. It stars Barbara Bach as a TV reporter who loses her motel room during a remote report and stays at some dude's farmhouse. The farmhouse, of course, has a horrible "something living in the basement", which they of course discover. To quote the back cover "their stay soon becomes a horrific nightmare when they encounter the 'unseen'".
So it kind of sounds like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (appropriate, since it's written by Massacre's Kim Henkel) crossed with that episode of the X-Files about inbred mutants. Throw in a dash of "monster movie of your choosing" and I bet that's The Unseen. And yet, I'm interested. I could be cool, and as I said, it's rare to see a movie you haven't seen a bazillion times.
4. The Johnsons - Okay, the cover is what did it for me here.
It's some Dutch take on The Omen or The Exorcist or Rosemary's Baby, mixed in with a little bit of A Nightmare on Elm Street, except instead of Satan, it's the Mahxitu Indian God Xangadix. Or something like that. The back of the dvd has some bald kid covered in blood eating what looks like human flesh. It's an Anchor Bay joint, who brought me the remarkably gross Baby Blood, so I figured "why not?"
Have any of you heard of these movies? Know anything about them? Was I very foolish, or do they sound like interesting avenues to go down? I'm always happy to find one movie I know nothing about, but four was crazy!
Finally, this is specifically for the Cranpire, but the rest of you will enjoy it too.
* just buy the criterion. it's worth the price.
Watching horror movies can be a hit and miss experience, and shopping for them (particularly used) can be difficult. Odds are the titles you find are movies you have, have seen, or don't want to see (for example: there are multiple copies of The Ninth Gate, Jeepers Creepers 2, and all of the After Dark releases). Occasionally you'll find a missing piece from your collection, like The Fly II, a really not so great sequel to Cronenberg's remake but damn is it gory. Typically your eyes glaze over, but every now and then, tucked in between public domain releases of Night of the Living Dead and Carnival of Souls*, you see something that makes you say "what the hell is this?".
I found four such titles tonight, all with a pretty good chance of either ruling or sucking, but for 5-8 bucks, it's worth a try:
1.House of the Damned - from the synopsis on the back "Architect Scott Campbell and his wife Nancy join another couple, Joseph and Lay Schillar for what promises to be a pleasant stay at an empty castle set on a secluded California hillside. Soon, however, tension mounts as... a group of ghoulish carnival circus performers who once inhabited the castle beome increasingly hostile towards their 'guests'"
Okay, so we have two normal couples, and "abandoned" castle, and circus freaks? I'm down! And lest ye think this is some bargain basement movie, it comes from 20th Century Fox circa 1963. So this is Fox attempting to rival the Corman cheapies. I have no idea who the people in the cast are, so all signs point to "hell yeah!"
2. Prom Night and Ghoulies IV - The Prom Night is exactly the one you think it is: with Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielsen, but I didn't have a copy and it's the Alliance reissue that's at least widescreen. The more important part is that it's doubled up with Ghoulies IV! Fucking Ghoulies IV!!! I didn't know there was a Ghoulies III, let alone a fourth entry. This is madness.
I fully admit that Ghoulies IV probably sucks sweaty donkey balls, but I have to see it. Ghoulies II played during Horror Fest I and remains a guilty pleasure for the Cap'n. Plus, think of it as buying Prom Night and getting a free shitty sequel in another series.
3. The Unseen - I feel like this title is familiar, but I don't know why. It stars Barbara Bach as a TV reporter who loses her motel room during a remote report and stays at some dude's farmhouse. The farmhouse, of course, has a horrible "something living in the basement", which they of course discover. To quote the back cover "their stay soon becomes a horrific nightmare when they encounter the 'unseen'".
So it kind of sounds like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (appropriate, since it's written by Massacre's Kim Henkel) crossed with that episode of the X-Files about inbred mutants. Throw in a dash of "monster movie of your choosing" and I bet that's The Unseen. And yet, I'm interested. I could be cool, and as I said, it's rare to see a movie you haven't seen a bazillion times.
4. The Johnsons - Okay, the cover is what did it for me here.
It's some Dutch take on The Omen or The Exorcist or Rosemary's Baby, mixed in with a little bit of A Nightmare on Elm Street, except instead of Satan, it's the Mahxitu Indian God Xangadix. Or something like that. The back of the dvd has some bald kid covered in blood eating what looks like human flesh. It's an Anchor Bay joint, who brought me the remarkably gross Baby Blood, so I figured "why not?"
Have any of you heard of these movies? Know anything about them? Was I very foolish, or do they sound like interesting avenues to go down? I'm always happy to find one movie I know nothing about, but four was crazy!
Finally, this is specifically for the Cranpire, but the rest of you will enjoy it too.
* just buy the criterion. it's worth the price.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Horror Fest III: Whatever Happened to the "Splat Pack"?
Yesterday, The Cap'n got into a nice discussion about what "old school" horror means with the Cranpire and the Rianimator (feel free to jump in with your two cents; it's not like the conversation is over or anything), but I posed a question in the comments that got stuck in my craw:
What exactly is the "new school"?
For those of you allergic to like, scrolling down or something, here's what I said exactly:
How would you qualify the current "school" of American horror; one dominated by horror films, homages (Hatchet, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer), deconstructions (Behind the Mask) and films about home invasion, torture, and the occasional hulking wrestler-turned-monster?
This is actually jumping ahead of where I want to go today, because I'd like to dial it back three years or so and discuss the so-called "Splat Pack", a group of directors referred to as "an emerging and collegial band of horror auteurs". At the time the article in Time appeared, many of them had big hits under their belts, and were popular with fans for bucking the conventional trend of remaking Asian horror movies that was dominating the early 21st century*.
If you don't remember who was part of the "new school" Splat Pack class, allow me to refresh your memory:
Eli Roth, Neil Marshall, Alexandre Aja, Darren Lynn Bousman, Greg McLean, James Wan, Leigh Whannel, and Rob Zombie.
Roth and Zombie you probably remember pretty well. Between them, they were responsible for House of 1000 Corpses, Cabin Fever, The Devil's Rejects, and Hostel.
Neil Marshall made Dog Soldiers and The Descent, Greg McLean directed Wolf Creek, Alexandre Aja brought us High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes, and Bousman, Whannel, and Wan were responsible for the first three Saw films at the time.
We have one outright remake, one two homages to seventies horror, a French film with a seriously gory streak, a Werewolf horror-comedy, a claustrophobic film about spelunking with cave monsters, a wildly inconsistent horror comedy borrowing from The Evil Dead, and the birth of what was called "Torture Porn", both from American and Australian perspectives.
There was some serious buzz around all of these guys; they counted the likes of Takeshi Miike, Quentin Tarantino, and Tobe Hooper as mentors, and their movies were at least inventive, if not always great. Buzz was strong for the followups: Marshall's Doomsday, Roth's Hostel: Part II, Rob Zombie's Halloween, Aja's Mirrors, Wan and Whannel's Dead Silence, and the never ending Saw series.
And then all of that seemed to go away. It wasn't just that the movies were (mostly) underwhelming, but the "torture porn" stigma started getting nasty. Dead Silence was terrible (the Cap'n apologizes for ever trying to defend it), Mirrors was incomprehensible garbage, and Doomsday was less than it promised to be (the progeny of The Road Warrior and Escape from New York).
Hostel: Part II felt like Roth was treading water; yes, it had some interesting moments, but where was the giant leap forward we experienced from Cabin Fever to Hostel? Halloween remains the favorite of many, even though I feel like it fails on so many levels not only as a remake but also as a coherent film in its own right. Don't get me started on the ridiculous path Saw followed to pump out a movie every year.
Rabid fan support only really seems to exist for Zombie these days, mostly residual good will for White Zombie and The Devil's Rejects, which was light years better than House of 1000 Corpses. Despite the fact he admitted to not even having written his script for Tyrannosaurus Rex, fans are gnawing at the bit for this "ultimate badass" film. People are still begging for a Werewolf Women of the SS feature film, even though he could barely keep the premise interesting for two minutes**.
Roth was going to direct an adaptation of Stephen King's The Cell, although it looks like that's dead and buried in the wake of a movie like The Signal. His long awaited extension on Grindhouse, Trailer Trash, pops up but never seems to be going anywhere. That's a shame, because if it really is a horror / exploitation riff on The Kentucky Fried Movie, I'd be interested in seeing it. Other than Edgar Wright's Don't, Roth's Thanksgiving trailer had me the most interested to see the man get back to work.
I don't think Doomsday killed Neil Marhsall's career, but even supporters of the film like myself understand that it didn't do well, critically or commercially. When fans are more excited about a sequel to The Descent Marshall has nothing to do with, he's got a steep hill to climb.
Truth be told, I'm perfectly okay with Aja going back to the remake well for Piranha. He's promising a 3-D gorefest along the lines of Dead Alive, and if there's someone capable of delivering on that promise, it's that crazy Frog.
As I've stated openly, I haven't seen a Saw movie since the awful second part, but I do read up on the plots and I've seen enough footage online to know where the series went, and it sounds fucking stupid. Whannel, Wan, and Bousman are all off of the series now, but to be honest with you, Death Sentence didn't look very interesting and I have NO interest in Repo: The Genetic Opera.
You might have noticed that Greg McLean pretty much vanished from the equation, which is sad, because he actually made a pretty good follow up to Wolf Creek called Rogue. Most people never noticed it slide in on dvd, and those who saw the dvd cover likely mistook it for the craptacular Giant Croc movie Primeval that came out earlier this year. That's a shame, because Rogue is a much better movie than almost any of the follow ups I listed above. I'm strongly considering putting it into the Horror Fest III lineup.
I'd be remiss to leave out the negative impact of the botched Masters of Horror series, which did not include any of the directors listed above but did carry their seal of approval. Season one was shaky, with a handful of decent episodes from veterans and relative newcomers (May's Lucky McKee) but equally terrible installments from other legends of the genre and questionable choices as to who qualified as "master".
Season two was, in my opinion, and unmitigated disaster. Other than Joe Dante's shaky "Screwfly Solution" and Stuart Gordon's pretty good "The Black Cat", there's not a good one in the bunch. Contemporaries of the Splat Pack like Rob Marshall (Wrong Turn) got a shot and didn't get far. The otherwise reliable Brad Anderson (Session 9, The Machinist) brought great sound design to a turgid and predictable "Sounds Like". And don't get me started on Peter Medak's "The Washingtonians", or John Carpenter's terrible "Pro-Life" (I didn't think it could get worse than "Cigarette Burns").
The failure of watered down Fear Itself, which I didn't bother watching, pretty much left the experiment dead, and I'm not convinced that's a bad thing. It certainly didn't help the Splat Pack to be supporting such a waste of time, and that coupled with the stillborn Grindhouse experiment, they just don't seem to be the "new school" anymore.
Any thoughts? Did the rise of Platinum Dunes help the fall of the "pack"? Did you think they were overrated to begin with? Have other theories? Join me in the comments below to discuss...
* how fucking pretentious does that sound? still, it's true, so I'm sticking with it.
** gotta give the man props for being a bright spot in Nicholas Cage's filmography for one brief moment in 2007, though...
What exactly is the "new school"?
For those of you allergic to like, scrolling down or something, here's what I said exactly:
How would you qualify the current "school" of American horror; one dominated by horror films, homages (Hatchet, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer), deconstructions (Behind the Mask) and films about home invasion, torture, and the occasional hulking wrestler-turned-monster?
This is actually jumping ahead of where I want to go today, because I'd like to dial it back three years or so and discuss the so-called "Splat Pack", a group of directors referred to as "an emerging and collegial band of horror auteurs". At the time the article in Time appeared, many of them had big hits under their belts, and were popular with fans for bucking the conventional trend of remaking Asian horror movies that was dominating the early 21st century*.
If you don't remember who was part of the "new school" Splat Pack class, allow me to refresh your memory:
Eli Roth, Neil Marshall, Alexandre Aja, Darren Lynn Bousman, Greg McLean, James Wan, Leigh Whannel, and Rob Zombie.
Roth and Zombie you probably remember pretty well. Between them, they were responsible for House of 1000 Corpses, Cabin Fever, The Devil's Rejects, and Hostel.
Neil Marshall made Dog Soldiers and The Descent, Greg McLean directed Wolf Creek, Alexandre Aja brought us High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes, and Bousman, Whannel, and Wan were responsible for the first three Saw films at the time.
We have one outright remake, one two homages to seventies horror, a French film with a seriously gory streak, a Werewolf horror-comedy, a claustrophobic film about spelunking with cave monsters, a wildly inconsistent horror comedy borrowing from The Evil Dead, and the birth of what was called "Torture Porn", both from American and Australian perspectives.
There was some serious buzz around all of these guys; they counted the likes of Takeshi Miike, Quentin Tarantino, and Tobe Hooper as mentors, and their movies were at least inventive, if not always great. Buzz was strong for the followups: Marshall's Doomsday, Roth's Hostel: Part II, Rob Zombie's Halloween, Aja's Mirrors, Wan and Whannel's Dead Silence, and the never ending Saw series.
And then all of that seemed to go away. It wasn't just that the movies were (mostly) underwhelming, but the "torture porn" stigma started getting nasty. Dead Silence was terrible (the Cap'n apologizes for ever trying to defend it), Mirrors was incomprehensible garbage, and Doomsday was less than it promised to be (the progeny of The Road Warrior and Escape from New York).
Hostel: Part II felt like Roth was treading water; yes, it had some interesting moments, but where was the giant leap forward we experienced from Cabin Fever to Hostel? Halloween remains the favorite of many, even though I feel like it fails on so many levels not only as a remake but also as a coherent film in its own right. Don't get me started on the ridiculous path Saw followed to pump out a movie every year.
Rabid fan support only really seems to exist for Zombie these days, mostly residual good will for White Zombie and The Devil's Rejects, which was light years better than House of 1000 Corpses. Despite the fact he admitted to not even having written his script for Tyrannosaurus Rex, fans are gnawing at the bit for this "ultimate badass" film. People are still begging for a Werewolf Women of the SS feature film, even though he could barely keep the premise interesting for two minutes**.
Roth was going to direct an adaptation of Stephen King's The Cell, although it looks like that's dead and buried in the wake of a movie like The Signal. His long awaited extension on Grindhouse, Trailer Trash, pops up but never seems to be going anywhere. That's a shame, because if it really is a horror / exploitation riff on The Kentucky Fried Movie, I'd be interested in seeing it. Other than Edgar Wright's Don't, Roth's Thanksgiving trailer had me the most interested to see the man get back to work.
I don't think Doomsday killed Neil Marhsall's career, but even supporters of the film like myself understand that it didn't do well, critically or commercially. When fans are more excited about a sequel to The Descent Marshall has nothing to do with, he's got a steep hill to climb.
Truth be told, I'm perfectly okay with Aja going back to the remake well for Piranha. He's promising a 3-D gorefest along the lines of Dead Alive, and if there's someone capable of delivering on that promise, it's that crazy Frog.
As I've stated openly, I haven't seen a Saw movie since the awful second part, but I do read up on the plots and I've seen enough footage online to know where the series went, and it sounds fucking stupid. Whannel, Wan, and Bousman are all off of the series now, but to be honest with you, Death Sentence didn't look very interesting and I have NO interest in Repo: The Genetic Opera.
You might have noticed that Greg McLean pretty much vanished from the equation, which is sad, because he actually made a pretty good follow up to Wolf Creek called Rogue. Most people never noticed it slide in on dvd, and those who saw the dvd cover likely mistook it for the craptacular Giant Croc movie Primeval that came out earlier this year. That's a shame, because Rogue is a much better movie than almost any of the follow ups I listed above. I'm strongly considering putting it into the Horror Fest III lineup.
I'd be remiss to leave out the negative impact of the botched Masters of Horror series, which did not include any of the directors listed above but did carry their seal of approval. Season one was shaky, with a handful of decent episodes from veterans and relative newcomers (May's Lucky McKee) but equally terrible installments from other legends of the genre and questionable choices as to who qualified as "master".
Season two was, in my opinion, and unmitigated disaster. Other than Joe Dante's shaky "Screwfly Solution" and Stuart Gordon's pretty good "The Black Cat", there's not a good one in the bunch. Contemporaries of the Splat Pack like Rob Marshall (Wrong Turn) got a shot and didn't get far. The otherwise reliable Brad Anderson (Session 9, The Machinist) brought great sound design to a turgid and predictable "Sounds Like". And don't get me started on Peter Medak's "The Washingtonians", or John Carpenter's terrible "Pro-Life" (I didn't think it could get worse than "Cigarette Burns").
The failure of watered down Fear Itself, which I didn't bother watching, pretty much left the experiment dead, and I'm not convinced that's a bad thing. It certainly didn't help the Splat Pack to be supporting such a waste of time, and that coupled with the stillborn Grindhouse experiment, they just don't seem to be the "new school" anymore.
Any thoughts? Did the rise of Platinum Dunes help the fall of the "pack"? Did you think they were overrated to begin with? Have other theories? Join me in the comments below to discuss...
* how fucking pretentious does that sound? still, it's true, so I'm sticking with it.
** gotta give the man props for being a bright spot in Nicholas Cage's filmography for one brief moment in 2007, though...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Horror Fest III Discussion: How old school is "old school"?
hear this a lot, occasionally from my own mouth, so it seems worth investigating:
When people say "it is/isn't like old school horror; it rules/sucks!", where do you draw that line?
For example, is Halloween more old school than Friday the 13th? Or is Psycho old school? Is Dracula too old to be old school, but maybe The Horror of Dracula fits?
Taking the general understanding of "old school", which would be in reference to hip hop (ergo 1970s early 80s) out of the equation, what do you consider personally to be the best decade for horror, and why?
Are you a fan of the "classic" Universal era from the 30s and 40s? Maybe your thing is more the "giant monster" era from the 50s? Do you go all the way back, Caligari-style, or rock out with Nosferatu? Or does the slasher boom of the late 70s and early 80s really scratch your itch?
Cult fan? Camp fan? Dig that stuff from the 60s that no one's seen but you? Roger Corman type? Into the obscure foreign horror films from the 60s? Satanic possession films of the early 70s? Maybe the horror comedies of the mid-to-late 80s? Big into the Carpenter 80s? The Argento 70s? The Polanski era? Down with the Cannibal genre? The Cap'n wants to know, so get your comment on. I'll reply with some picks and we'll keep this going for as long as you're interested, dear reader.
Since I'm starting all of this, it's only fair for the Cap'n to start with his two cents, so for me "old school" ought to be something that you can trace a clear lineage back to, beyond just remakes. Since I'm not really that down with the whole "TP" genre, I'm going to focus on another current trend in horror right now:
It doesn't get the kind of outrage that I normally reserve for "classics" like Friday the 13th or The Massacre or Nightmare, but there's seems to be a particular brand of "old school", understood as the early-to-mid-eighties, which is drawing all kinds of strange remakes lately.
We've already seen The Hitcher, Prom Night, Day of the Dead, April Fool's Day, and The Hills have Eyes. In the coming months / year we'll see Night of the Demons, The Stepfather, My Bloody Valentine, Children of the Corn, Maniac, It's Alive, Poltergeist, Child's Play, and Troll.
So what do these movies all have in common? Well, they were all released between 1980 and 1990, done for reasonably low budgets, a few of them have sequels (okay, more than a few), but predominantly they all have the following similarity:
Not everyone knows them. At best, they might remember seeing the title from the olden days of a video store (if someone wants to make a case about "old school" involving the VHS rack at your local video store, I think you've got a good case). They saw a lurid cover and the title, along with movies like Gore Met: Zombie Chef from Hell, Piranha, and Bloodsucking Freaks, and thought "wow, someday I might rent that" or, more likely "that's kind of fucked up and I don't think I should watch it."
This particular brand of "old school" is something I remember from Video Bar and Carbonated video as "the section I'd go look around in but could never rent from" and every single one of those movies is something I remember seeing on the shelf, along with The Toxic Avenger and The Evil Dead (the most recent dvd version has the cover I remember seeing; the one of the woman being dragged into the grave). They were movies I didn't see until much later on, when I was a teenager and no longer freaked out by horror movies*.
Mostly this type of remake puzzles me, because these are the exact sort of movies that snuck under the radar the first time around. With the exception of Child's Play and Poltergeist, I'm not even sure any of them registered with most audiences. Why they would suddenly do so is equally curious; the aficionado, who owns all of those dvds now is probaly not going to see them in theatres, and unless they're all rated PG13, teenagers won't be able to get into them legally.
Still, it's kind of strange to hear those names again associated with new movies. It was probably like what a teenager thought when looking at the listings for his drive-in or local theatre: "awesome, dude! that sounds rad and gory!!!" while he waited for the next Freddy or Jason movie.
It's a weird variation on "old school", but I think it counts. The era produced random movies, many of which we only saw on fuzzy vhs tapes, but hearing them again brings me back...
*EDIT* Now includes original comments from original post:
The Rianimator Said:
It seems to me that the phrase "old school" is being turned not in reference to a period that is well known and foundational to one's tastes, but rather to a period juuust before their memory starts really kicking in. Where old school is used to mean "better than bad, it's good!" people want it to signify something they know only secondarily, and isn't tied whatsoever to any objective timeline of the genre or whathaveyou. Old school will be what your slightly older sibling was into, in whatever instance.
So the period of horror to which you refer would be my old school, in that case.
I think that the referred-to in "old school" has to be pretty similar to one's, uh, current school. In that way it's foundational. But if you remember it too well, it's not cool enough to be old school. Nosferatu has to be, like, Academy of the Ancient Ones.
This is all bullshit. Schneetzah wrote it.
The Cap'n Replied:
It's not bullshit. You have an interesting point; the use of "old school" for me is this curious interest in recycling the names and plots of movies that people just barely remember. On the other hand, I think that the Hammer period also counts as "old school" because it's a transition from the cutesy "teen horror" of the 50s and the now family friendly "classic" horror to what Cranpire is discussing below.
On the other hand, movies like Hatchet proudly proclaims on the cover "Old School American Horror". Does this mean that "old school American horror" is exclusively the domain of slasher movies, as it borrows heavily from Friday the 13th? Or are there different phases of "old school" that really define how someone relates to the genre?
Speaking of which, since you brought it up: how would you qualify the current "school" of American horror; one dominated by horror films, homages (Hatchet, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer), deconstructions (Behind the Mask) and films about home invasion, torture, and the occasional hulking wrestler-turned-monster?
The Cranpire posted a comment which has been removed. The Cap'n replied:
For your sake I hope that's something you don't remember tomorrow. And check the front of the car before anyone else wakes up. I'm just saying is all I'm saying...
I agree with you to a degree, if only because that era does signify the explosion of American exploitation of nudity and gore. As I mentioned briefly in The Rianimator's comment, I think that Hammer was already doing that in the late sixties and well into the seventies (the studio ended right around To the Devil... A Daughter, released in 1976). Jess Franco was beginning to explore similar violence and nudity, and Argento was heading in that direction as well. Tombs of the Blind Dead, which I mentioned the other day, is not only gory, but also features scenes of rape and hints at a lesbian relationship early in the film. But then again, this is easily understood to be different because it's "European".
But as American films go, I think you're on the right track. Roger Corman and Hammer were easing the mores of American horror, so that you could make the leap from something like The Blob to Blood Feast. You didn't mention it, but that period also covers movies like The Thing, Videodrome, and An American Werewolf in London. I feel like they helped push horror in other directions while the series were building or going strong.
Speaking of The Thing, I must admit a preference for the period between 1950 and 1968, where independents mingled with movies like The Thing. Carnival of Souls, Night of the Living Dead, The Blob, and even horror-comedies like A Bucket of Blood. Not to mention all of the Vincent Price activity going on...
* yes, the cap'n is admitting in front of all of you that he once could not watch horror movies because they scared him. mock on.
When people say "it is/isn't like old school horror; it rules/sucks!", where do you draw that line?
For example, is Halloween more old school than Friday the 13th? Or is Psycho old school? Is Dracula too old to be old school, but maybe The Horror of Dracula fits?
Taking the general understanding of "old school", which would be in reference to hip hop (ergo 1970s early 80s) out of the equation, what do you consider personally to be the best decade for horror, and why?
Are you a fan of the "classic" Universal era from the 30s and 40s? Maybe your thing is more the "giant monster" era from the 50s? Do you go all the way back, Caligari-style, or rock out with Nosferatu? Or does the slasher boom of the late 70s and early 80s really scratch your itch?
Cult fan? Camp fan? Dig that stuff from the 60s that no one's seen but you? Roger Corman type? Into the obscure foreign horror films from the 60s? Satanic possession films of the early 70s? Maybe the horror comedies of the mid-to-late 80s? Big into the Carpenter 80s? The Argento 70s? The Polanski era? Down with the Cannibal genre? The Cap'n wants to know, so get your comment on. I'll reply with some picks and we'll keep this going for as long as you're interested, dear reader.
Since I'm starting all of this, it's only fair for the Cap'n to start with his two cents, so for me "old school" ought to be something that you can trace a clear lineage back to, beyond just remakes. Since I'm not really that down with the whole "TP" genre, I'm going to focus on another current trend in horror right now:
The Obscuremake
It doesn't get the kind of outrage that I normally reserve for "classics" like Friday the 13th or The Massacre or Nightmare, but there's seems to be a particular brand of "old school", understood as the early-to-mid-eighties, which is drawing all kinds of strange remakes lately.
We've already seen The Hitcher, Prom Night, Day of the Dead, April Fool's Day, and The Hills have Eyes. In the coming months / year we'll see Night of the Demons, The Stepfather, My Bloody Valentine, Children of the Corn, Maniac, It's Alive, Poltergeist, Child's Play, and Troll.
So what do these movies all have in common? Well, they were all released between 1980 and 1990, done for reasonably low budgets, a few of them have sequels (okay, more than a few), but predominantly they all have the following similarity:
Not everyone knows them. At best, they might remember seeing the title from the olden days of a video store (if someone wants to make a case about "old school" involving the VHS rack at your local video store, I think you've got a good case). They saw a lurid cover and the title, along with movies like Gore Met: Zombie Chef from Hell, Piranha, and Bloodsucking Freaks, and thought "wow, someday I might rent that" or, more likely "that's kind of fucked up and I don't think I should watch it."
This particular brand of "old school" is something I remember from Video Bar and Carbonated video as "the section I'd go look around in but could never rent from" and every single one of those movies is something I remember seeing on the shelf, along with The Toxic Avenger and The Evil Dead (the most recent dvd version has the cover I remember seeing; the one of the woman being dragged into the grave). They were movies I didn't see until much later on, when I was a teenager and no longer freaked out by horror movies*.
Mostly this type of remake puzzles me, because these are the exact sort of movies that snuck under the radar the first time around. With the exception of Child's Play and Poltergeist, I'm not even sure any of them registered with most audiences. Why they would suddenly do so is equally curious; the aficionado, who owns all of those dvds now is probaly not going to see them in theatres, and unless they're all rated PG13, teenagers won't be able to get into them legally.
Still, it's kind of strange to hear those names again associated with new movies. It was probably like what a teenager thought when looking at the listings for his drive-in or local theatre: "awesome, dude! that sounds rad and gory!!!" while he waited for the next Freddy or Jason movie.
It's a weird variation on "old school", but I think it counts. The era produced random movies, many of which we only saw on fuzzy vhs tapes, but hearing them again brings me back...
*EDIT* Now includes original comments from original post:
The Rianimator Said:
It seems to me that the phrase "old school" is being turned not in reference to a period that is well known and foundational to one's tastes, but rather to a period juuust before their memory starts really kicking in. Where old school is used to mean "better than bad, it's good!" people want it to signify something they know only secondarily, and isn't tied whatsoever to any objective timeline of the genre or whathaveyou. Old school will be what your slightly older sibling was into, in whatever instance.
So the period of horror to which you refer would be my old school, in that case.
I think that the referred-to in "old school" has to be pretty similar to one's, uh, current school. In that way it's foundational. But if you remember it too well, it's not cool enough to be old school. Nosferatu has to be, like, Academy of the Ancient Ones.
This is all bullshit. Schneetzah wrote it.
The Cap'n Replied:
It's not bullshit. You have an interesting point; the use of "old school" for me is this curious interest in recycling the names and plots of movies that people just barely remember. On the other hand, I think that the Hammer period also counts as "old school" because it's a transition from the cutesy "teen horror" of the 50s and the now family friendly "classic" horror to what Cranpire is discussing below.
On the other hand, movies like Hatchet proudly proclaims on the cover "Old School American Horror". Does this mean that "old school American horror" is exclusively the domain of slasher movies, as it borrows heavily from Friday the 13th? Or are there different phases of "old school" that really define how someone relates to the genre?
Speaking of which, since you brought it up: how would you qualify the current "school" of American horror; one dominated by horror films, homages (Hatchet, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer), deconstructions (Behind the Mask) and films about home invasion, torture, and the occasional hulking wrestler-turned-monster?
The Cranpire posted a comment which has been removed. The Cap'n replied:
For your sake I hope that's something you don't remember tomorrow. And check the front of the car before anyone else wakes up. I'm just saying is all I'm saying...
I agree with you to a degree, if only because that era does signify the explosion of American exploitation of nudity and gore. As I mentioned briefly in The Rianimator's comment, I think that Hammer was already doing that in the late sixties and well into the seventies (the studio ended right around To the Devil... A Daughter, released in 1976). Jess Franco was beginning to explore similar violence and nudity, and Argento was heading in that direction as well. Tombs of the Blind Dead, which I mentioned the other day, is not only gory, but also features scenes of rape and hints at a lesbian relationship early in the film. But then again, this is easily understood to be different because it's "European".
But as American films go, I think you're on the right track. Roger Corman and Hammer were easing the mores of American horror, so that you could make the leap from something like The Blob to Blood Feast. You didn't mention it, but that period also covers movies like The Thing, Videodrome, and An American Werewolf in London. I feel like they helped push horror in other directions while the series were building or going strong.
Speaking of The Thing, I must admit a preference for the period between 1950 and 1968, where independents mingled with movies like The Thing. Carnival of Souls, Night of the Living Dead, The Blob, and even horror-comedies like A Bucket of Blood. Not to mention all of the Vincent Price activity going on...
* yes, the cap'n is admitting in front of all of you that he once could not watch horror movies because they scared him. mock on.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Blogorium Review: Mother of Tears
The Cap'n is starting to think he's going to scratch Mother of Tears off of that list for next week... See, the thing about it is that while Mother of Tears is not as cheap looking and flagrantly awful as recent Dario Argento films (Do You Like Hitchcock, The Card Player), it's still not very good.
I have a hard time actually considering the film to be tied to Suspiria or Inferno, even though it makes a direct connection to the former and indirect ones to the latter. The Mother of Tears (sometimes subtitled The Third Mother) is about the final witch in Argento's triptych of stories about modern day witchcraft, following the two defeated in Suspiria and Inferno. Apparently, Sarah Mandy's (Asia Argento) parents left the Mother of Sighs (Mater Suspiriorum) weak enough for Suzy to kill her in Suspiria.
Other than the plot trying to tie everything together, Mother of Tears has nothing in common with the first two films. Other than graphic violence, there's nothing visually to indicate these films are alike, and worst of all Mother of Tears lacks any dreamlike imagery. The strength of Suspiria (and perhaps the weakness of Inferno) is the bizarre, logically twisty stories of the film, coupled with strong primary colors and dark, fuzzy imagery. They're great for watching late at night in the dark when you're starting to get tired, because the operate on the same kind of dream logic your mind goes to in rem sleep.
Mother of Tears is pretty straight forward. The monsters are never less than 100% real, the plot moves along pretty coherently (Sarah meets someone who can help her, the Mater Lachrimarum kills them, she moves on), and there's nothing bizarre or unusual about Argento's camerawork or cinematography. It's very workmanlike, right down to the truly gratuitous nude shot of his daughter in the shower.
If you're wondering "well, is it better than most of his recent output?", the answer is a tentative yes, but it's still not the Dario Argento you would expect for a story directly linked to his classics. Mother of Tears is middle of the road: somewhere between Two Evil Eyes and Phenomena, which is to say not great but better than the bottom of the pile. For die hard fans only, and definitely not up to ______ ____ standards.
*EDIT* Additional Thoughts:
1. I can't believe I forgot to mention this, but the music in Mother of Tears isn't by Goblin, but rather one of its former members, and whatever he did, it sorely lacks the "Goblin" touch. Laugh if you will, but a big reason that Dawn of the Dead and Suspiria work as well as they do are those out of left field Goblin synthesizer soundtracks. The Suspiria one is so effective with Argento's imagery that if I catch myself humming the theme, scenes like the plaza sequence will pop up in my head (remember that one? the dog?). Mother of Tears has a rather generic orchestral score with some chanting and garbage, and if I hadn't checked first, I would've sworn it had nothing to do with Goblin.
2. The ending is... I want to say ridiculous, but before we can get that far, you have to understand how rushed it is. Mother of Tears is something like 99 minutes long, including the credits. Sarah (Asia Argento) doesn't enter the coven until the 94 minute mark, and half of that scene is devoted to torturing the cop who goes in first. The film builds up some ridiculous notion that only Sarah has the "power" to defeat the mother of tears, but I'm going to go ahead and spoil this for you. Someone has to:
Sarah defeats the Mother of Tears, the most powerful witch of the three mothers, by pulling her robe off with a spear and dropping it into a fire. Then an earthquake causes the house to collapse, and somehow a spire from the roof falls all the way underground and kills the witch. Sarah leaves, but not before having a minor freak out in some muddy water filled with corpses.
This is all punctuated with dodgy cgi (like large chunks of the film) and a wholly fake looking final shot of Sarah and the somehow not dead cop laughing. I mean, okay, the way Suspiria ends is kind of sudden, but not that laughably. So do understand you're getting a lot of buildup for no reason and a sudden ending. There's a sex joke in there somewhere, but I'll let you write it yourself.
I have a hard time actually considering the film to be tied to Suspiria or Inferno, even though it makes a direct connection to the former and indirect ones to the latter. The Mother of Tears (sometimes subtitled The Third Mother) is about the final witch in Argento's triptych of stories about modern day witchcraft, following the two defeated in Suspiria and Inferno. Apparently, Sarah Mandy's (Asia Argento) parents left the Mother of Sighs (Mater Suspiriorum) weak enough for Suzy to kill her in Suspiria.
Other than the plot trying to tie everything together, Mother of Tears has nothing in common with the first two films. Other than graphic violence, there's nothing visually to indicate these films are alike, and worst of all Mother of Tears lacks any dreamlike imagery. The strength of Suspiria (and perhaps the weakness of Inferno) is the bizarre, logically twisty stories of the film, coupled with strong primary colors and dark, fuzzy imagery. They're great for watching late at night in the dark when you're starting to get tired, because the operate on the same kind of dream logic your mind goes to in rem sleep.
Mother of Tears is pretty straight forward. The monsters are never less than 100% real, the plot moves along pretty coherently (Sarah meets someone who can help her, the Mater Lachrimarum kills them, she moves on), and there's nothing bizarre or unusual about Argento's camerawork or cinematography. It's very workmanlike, right down to the truly gratuitous nude shot of his daughter in the shower.
If you're wondering "well, is it better than most of his recent output?", the answer is a tentative yes, but it's still not the Dario Argento you would expect for a story directly linked to his classics. Mother of Tears is middle of the road: somewhere between Two Evil Eyes and Phenomena, which is to say not great but better than the bottom of the pile. For die hard fans only, and definitely not up to ______ ____ standards.
*EDIT* Additional Thoughts:
1. I can't believe I forgot to mention this, but the music in Mother of Tears isn't by Goblin, but rather one of its former members, and whatever he did, it sorely lacks the "Goblin" touch. Laugh if you will, but a big reason that Dawn of the Dead and Suspiria work as well as they do are those out of left field Goblin synthesizer soundtracks. The Suspiria one is so effective with Argento's imagery that if I catch myself humming the theme, scenes like the plaza sequence will pop up in my head (remember that one? the dog?). Mother of Tears has a rather generic orchestral score with some chanting and garbage, and if I hadn't checked first, I would've sworn it had nothing to do with Goblin.
2. The ending is... I want to say ridiculous, but before we can get that far, you have to understand how rushed it is. Mother of Tears is something like 99 minutes long, including the credits. Sarah (Asia Argento) doesn't enter the coven until the 94 minute mark, and half of that scene is devoted to torturing the cop who goes in first. The film builds up some ridiculous notion that only Sarah has the "power" to defeat the mother of tears, but I'm going to go ahead and spoil this for you. Someone has to:
Sarah defeats the Mother of Tears, the most powerful witch of the three mothers, by pulling her robe off with a spear and dropping it into a fire. Then an earthquake causes the house to collapse, and somehow a spire from the roof falls all the way underground and kills the witch. Sarah leaves, but not before having a minor freak out in some muddy water filled with corpses.
This is all punctuated with dodgy cgi (like large chunks of the film) and a wholly fake looking final shot of Sarah and the somehow not dead cop laughing. I mean, okay, the way Suspiria ends is kind of sudden, but not that laughably. So do understand you're getting a lot of buildup for no reason and a sudden ending. There's a sex joke in there somewhere, but I'll let you write it yourself.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Five Movies: Inaugural Edition
The Cap'n realizes he's sounded a bit grouchy in the last few days, which is not what the Cap'n wants readers to think he is all the kind: cantankerous, grouchy, and ill at ease with the current state of movies.
It is true that movies the new Friday the 13th, Watchmen, and Saw V are not my thing. But that doesn't mean many of you might not enjoy them, so I'll lay off for at least one day and try to share with you five movies that I think you might enjoy. Five movies that maybe weren't on your radar, or maybe that you'd never considered seeing before. If I'm recommending them, I think they're worth your time, and unless you see the word "Ironic" in the subject, it's not because they're actually terrible.
Since we're only a week away from Halloween, it's only fair to start with five horror movies. Horror is a vast genre that covers all kinds of films, and everybody's had the chance to see something others haven't, so it seems fair to share the wealth every now and then. I hope to turn you on to at least one movie, even the most die hard aficionado.
5. The Hitcher (1986) - Forget what you've seen on dvd shelves everywhere: this is The Hitcher to watch! No one this side of Gary Busey can play unhinged like Rutger Hauer, and this is the man at his maddest. Even if you saw the remake, do yourself a favor and watch Hauer terrorize C. Thomas Howell and Jennifer Jason Leigh on the open highway. I promise you the ending to this one is better!
4. Prince of Darkness - The often forgotten chapter of John Carpenter's "End of the World" trilogy (along with The Thing and In the Mouth of Madness), Prince of Darkness has the bad luck of falling between Big Trouble in Little China and They Live, two cult favorites. That's too bad, because Prince of Darkness is every bit as good as those two, and scarier than either. To explain the story, about something sinister buried beneath a church, would undersell the movie. It's not the plot synopsis so much as the way Carpenter unfolds the story, alternating between a straight-forward narrative and cryptic flash forwards in the form of video from an unspecified time. If you rent this, don't watch the trailer; it gives away part of the ending!
3. Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed - I frequently recommend Ginger Snaps to people, but rarely do I take the opportunity to recommend its sequel, which is in many ways as good if not better. What Unleashed does that is so rare in a sequel is to take the premise of the original, twist it, and come up with a novel alternate narrative. Instead of lycanthropy as a metaphor for puberty, now it becomes a metaphor for addiction, as Bridget tries to suppress the urge to transform (like her sister). The ending, quite out of left field, is akin to something like Neil Jordan's The Company of Wolves, and sets up the fairytale bookend that is the third film.
2. Tombs of the Blind Dead - If you think Dario Argento has the market cornered on dreamlike atmospheres and nightmarish imagery, you might want to check out Amando de Ossorio's Spanish entry into Gothic Horror. Made six years before Suspiria, Tombs of the Blind Dead (La Noche del terror ciego) delivers the Knights Templar as monsters, decaying and blind. Every time the Knights appear, the film takes on a hallucinatory quality, and coupled with the ambiguity what they want or why they exist, the film is perfect for the middle of the night when your mind begins to drift.
1. The Black Cat (1934) - Of all the team-ups between Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi, this is my favorite. Neither of them play conventional monsters, but are more horrifying as victimizer and victim of war set on destroying the other. In the middle is a couple who had the dumb luck to share a train car with Dr. Vitus Vedergast (Lugosi). When the young bride is injured, they are forced to join Vedergast in the home of Hjalmar Poelzig (Karloff), an architect, war hero, and something much more to Vedergast. To say much more would be spoiling the ending, which was so harsh by 1930s standards no uncut version of the film is known to exist. If you're a fan of either legend, you owe it to yourself to see The Black Cat.
In the future I hope to bring you more of Five Movies, as well as future installments of Four Reasons, and maybe even Three Guilty Pleasures (I just made that up, but it sounds like fun). If this was helpful to you, or you have some suggestions for horror movies (or any other) unseen, feel free to share it with the others.
Yours,
The Cap'n
It is true that movies the new Friday the 13th, Watchmen, and Saw V are not my thing. But that doesn't mean many of you might not enjoy them, so I'll lay off for at least one day and try to share with you five movies that I think you might enjoy. Five movies that maybe weren't on your radar, or maybe that you'd never considered seeing before. If I'm recommending them, I think they're worth your time, and unless you see the word "Ironic" in the subject, it's not because they're actually terrible.
Since we're only a week away from Halloween, it's only fair to start with five horror movies. Horror is a vast genre that covers all kinds of films, and everybody's had the chance to see something others haven't, so it seems fair to share the wealth every now and then. I hope to turn you on to at least one movie, even the most die hard aficionado.
5. The Hitcher (1986) - Forget what you've seen on dvd shelves everywhere: this is The Hitcher to watch! No one this side of Gary Busey can play unhinged like Rutger Hauer, and this is the man at his maddest. Even if you saw the remake, do yourself a favor and watch Hauer terrorize C. Thomas Howell and Jennifer Jason Leigh on the open highway. I promise you the ending to this one is better!
4. Prince of Darkness - The often forgotten chapter of John Carpenter's "End of the World" trilogy (along with The Thing and In the Mouth of Madness), Prince of Darkness has the bad luck of falling between Big Trouble in Little China and They Live, two cult favorites. That's too bad, because Prince of Darkness is every bit as good as those two, and scarier than either. To explain the story, about something sinister buried beneath a church, would undersell the movie. It's not the plot synopsis so much as the way Carpenter unfolds the story, alternating between a straight-forward narrative and cryptic flash forwards in the form of video from an unspecified time. If you rent this, don't watch the trailer; it gives away part of the ending!
3. Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed - I frequently recommend Ginger Snaps to people, but rarely do I take the opportunity to recommend its sequel, which is in many ways as good if not better. What Unleashed does that is so rare in a sequel is to take the premise of the original, twist it, and come up with a novel alternate narrative. Instead of lycanthropy as a metaphor for puberty, now it becomes a metaphor for addiction, as Bridget tries to suppress the urge to transform (like her sister). The ending, quite out of left field, is akin to something like Neil Jordan's The Company of Wolves, and sets up the fairytale bookend that is the third film.
2. Tombs of the Blind Dead - If you think Dario Argento has the market cornered on dreamlike atmospheres and nightmarish imagery, you might want to check out Amando de Ossorio's Spanish entry into Gothic Horror. Made six years before Suspiria, Tombs of the Blind Dead (La Noche del terror ciego) delivers the Knights Templar as monsters, decaying and blind. Every time the Knights appear, the film takes on a hallucinatory quality, and coupled with the ambiguity what they want or why they exist, the film is perfect for the middle of the night when your mind begins to drift.
1. The Black Cat (1934) - Of all the team-ups between Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi, this is my favorite. Neither of them play conventional monsters, but are more horrifying as victimizer and victim of war set on destroying the other. In the middle is a couple who had the dumb luck to share a train car with Dr. Vitus Vedergast (Lugosi). When the young bride is injured, they are forced to join Vedergast in the home of Hjalmar Poelzig (Karloff), an architect, war hero, and something much more to Vedergast. To say much more would be spoiling the ending, which was so harsh by 1930s standards no uncut version of the film is known to exist. If you're a fan of either legend, you owe it to yourself to see The Black Cat.
In the future I hope to bring you more of Five Movies, as well as future installments of Four Reasons, and maybe even Three Guilty Pleasures (I just made that up, but it sounds like fun). If this was helpful to you, or you have some suggestions for horror movies (or any other) unseen, feel free to share it with the others.
Yours,
The Cap'n
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