You know, I had planned on using 80s Slasher Day to prove something of a point - that for the most part, the slasher formula was interchangeable after Black Christmas and Halloween set the template and Friday the 13th locked it into place. The truth is that most slasher movies are, in fact, basically the same movie: the variations are location, the killer's gimmick, and the way people die. That's really it - from My Bloody Valentine to Graduation Day to Maniac Cop, there are only minor variations on the plot. Maniac Cop may deviate the farthest because it's more of a police procedural than a "kids go to _____ and get killed," but the kills are pure slasher.
So it came as a large surprise that the first two movies we watched weren't slasher movies at all. The second one might have fallen near that tree if it were in the slightest bit comprehensible, but to be honest incomprehensible is the nicest way I can describe that experience.
Let's do a brief breakdown:
Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers - I should have known the moment I saw Fred Olen Ray's name on this movie that we weren't really in for a slasher film. Admittedly, I threw it in knowing that it didn't necessarily have that reputation, but I wasn't expecting a soft boiled detective film laced with bad jokes. The gratudity I knew was coming (and it's delivered in spades), and the kind of extreme violence (I mean, it is about chainsaws, and the title is in no way misleading), but the dumb jokes and horrible shot composition don't help. Sure, it was fun to see Gunnar Hansen (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre) and Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead) on-screen together, but Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers is just awful.
A Night to Dismember - With a title like that, we had to be in luck, right? Um... well, I can't lie to you. I have no idea what happened in this movie. It's like a surrealist's fever dream retelling of a slasher film. There's something to do with the Kent family, who are killed off during the course of the film, and a detective who narrates the entire movie, but beyond that your guess is as good as mine. The music doesn't match the mood of the film, dialogue often seems to be looped or half-used from the time or filming. The shots don't make sense, there's not a trace of continuity, and the editing doesn't help either. The film seems to jump from one thought to another, but presented visually. Nothing makes sense. Neil suggested that director Doris Wishman and writer Judy Kudner had attempted to make a movie, not finished, and decided to patch together what they had. Doctor Tom declared that "I very rarely will call a movie 'unwatchable' but that A Night to Dismember is most definitely unwatchable." I can't disagree.
Visiting Hours - I'll give Visiting Hours this; it's a an prototype for Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer in the way that it sticks with the killer as he's not killing. It's also, unfortunately, trying to be a slasher movie at the same time, but one that goes looooooong stretches between murder set-pieces. I still find it plodding, but will concede that it's unique for its time and properly sleazy with Michael Ironside as the killer.
April Fool's Day - Finally, a slasher movie that mostly adheres to slasher principles. I understand why people at the time felt cheated by the "twist" of April Fool's Day, because it is a conscious decision to play with the tropes of slasher films and audience expectations, but that's why I like it. Yes, it is a dirty trick at the end of the movie, and it's not exactly a blood-soaked experience in the way that The Burning or Happy Birthday to Me are, but I admire the willingness to totally misdirect viewers about what they're seeing (or think they're seeing) up until the very end.
The Boogens - Okay, so it's stretching the "slasher" concept to include a movie about killer turtle monsters, but the way the suspense scenes are structured, and the way the kills take place from a first-person-perspective share plenty of real estate with the Friday the 13th's of the world. That happens mostly because if you saw one of the Boogens you'd probably be laughing too hard take the story seriously, but in terms of crafting tension with some all right slaying, The Boogens works.
Unfortunately, we didn't have time to dive into Intruder, 976-EVIL, or Don't Go In the House, so I can't speak to whether they match my thesis or not. I suppose my thesis is either cracked or mostly irrelevant based on what we did see today. Oh well, there's always Horror Fest 7...
This closes out Horror Fest 6 coverage. Thanks to everyone who joined in on the mayhem this year. See you next July for The Raleigh Summerfest Massacre: The Next Generation!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Horror Fest 6 Day Two: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011)
What you're probably going to notice here is a similarity to the review of The Dead; we came into the Guillermo Del Toro produced (and co-written) remake of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark with knowledge that it had been critically praised but was generally overlooked by the movie-going public. I thought it might be a creepy way to push Horror Fest into the late hours, and for a time the film does a very good job of ratcheting up the "don't go in there" factor with its sound design and shudder-inducing monsters. But it has two fatal flaws, and at the expense of making a cheap joke, Katie Holmes isn't one of them.
Poor Katie Holmes - we gave her hell during this movie, in part because her character Kim was such a wet blanket for so much of the movie. Guy Pearce's Alex was arguably the worst father ever; a guy who clearly wasn't interested in his daughter Sally (Bailee Madison), who had been passed off by her mother on the west coast. Sally was sent to live with her architect father and his interior designer girlfriend while they renovated the Blackwood Estate, which we already know is bad news bears.
In the prologue, we see Blackwood (Garry McDonald) trick his housekeeper (Edwina Ritchard) into coming down to the spooky basement. He insists that creatures have taken his son and they want teeth or Blackwood will never see him again. He removes his own teeth, then his housekeeper's, and offers them on a plate to the creatures in a hole beneath the ash pit. They take him instead.
While not directed by Del Toro, many of his favorite narrative flourishes are on display in Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - the child left alone to wander, the hidden surprise they discover, a world hidden within our own, one of fairies and creatures both fascinating and terrifying. The tree imagery can, at times, be overwhelming for the film - the front door and basement entrance are both elaborate carvings of trees, one with a bird that eagle-eyed viewers will be able to reference as the reason for the very last scene.
The early moments in the film where the creatures are calling to Sally to let them free are, in fact, quite eerie, and as they slowly begin to creep around in the house there are certainly hair-raising moments for audiences. Director Troy Nixey milks the suspense for all it is worth, giving the audience monster's-eye-view shots of where they are in relation to the protagonists, and what they plan to do that Alex, Sally, and Kim are blissfully unaware of. We're already ahead of Alex and Kim, who refuse to believe Sally that monsters are giving her nightmares, and based on a few conveniently placed items, it's understandable why they would. Still, it takes Kim most of the movie to start believing Sally and Alex has an eleventh-hour change of heart that I'm not sure I really buy.
It's later in the film, though, when they become a visible menace and start attacking in swarms that Don't Be Afraid of the Dark loses its potency. I can buy Kim and Alex not really paying attention to a certain point, and am even fine with the first time you really see the creatures attack Harris (Jack Thompson), the grandson of the worker who closed the basement. They surround him and give him a carpenter's equivalent of the "death of a thousand cuts," and it's still creepy. Unfortunately, it's only the beginning for how much more we're going to see of the little buggers, who are somewhere between rats and tiny primates with spindly arms.
The more you see of them, the less disturbing they are, and the more difficult it is to believe that only Sally seems to notice them everywhere. It comes to a head during Alex's big dinner presentation to Chalres Jacoby (Alan Dale) of a major architectural magazine. He's hoping to impress Jacoby enough to land the cover, but Sally keeps snapping photos with her Polaroid camera and makes a fool of herself at the dinner table. At this point, the stakes are supposed to be pretty high, but it plays out like a straight-faced version of the "dinner" scene from Sam Raimi's Drag Me to Hell. That it's followed by a visual effects heavy assault on Sally in the library only increases how much it stands out in the film.
I don't necessarily mind the ending (and by this, I mean the very ending, after we understand who the creatures really want), although the film gives such scant indicators as to why it happens that I'm sure most audiences had no idea what was going on. Without saying too much more, it develops Katie Holmes' Kim a little further but relies heavily that you remember one particular detail from the beginning of the film. Like The Orphanage (another Del Toro production), it takes the horror and places it within the realm of fairy tales, but only in a way that makes sense if you pay attention to a minute detail of an underdeveloped character.
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark isn't a failure per se but I wish the monsters had a much smaller visual presence in the film. Without a doubt that would result in a more effectively creepy film, one that already knows how to work the spine-tingling moments early on. It's worth checking out, but I can't help but feel like it could have been more.
In the prologue, we see Blackwood (Garry McDonald) trick his housekeeper (Edwina Ritchard) into coming down to the spooky basement. He insists that creatures have taken his son and they want teeth or Blackwood will never see him again. He removes his own teeth, then his housekeeper's, and offers them on a plate to the creatures in a hole beneath the ash pit. They take him instead.
While not directed by Del Toro, many of his favorite narrative flourishes are on display in Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - the child left alone to wander, the hidden surprise they discover, a world hidden within our own, one of fairies and creatures both fascinating and terrifying. The tree imagery can, at times, be overwhelming for the film - the front door and basement entrance are both elaborate carvings of trees, one with a bird that eagle-eyed viewers will be able to reference as the reason for the very last scene.
The early moments in the film where the creatures are calling to Sally to let them free are, in fact, quite eerie, and as they slowly begin to creep around in the house there are certainly hair-raising moments for audiences. Director Troy Nixey milks the suspense for all it is worth, giving the audience monster's-eye-view shots of where they are in relation to the protagonists, and what they plan to do that Alex, Sally, and Kim are blissfully unaware of. We're already ahead of Alex and Kim, who refuse to believe Sally that monsters are giving her nightmares, and based on a few conveniently placed items, it's understandable why they would. Still, it takes Kim most of the movie to start believing Sally and Alex has an eleventh-hour change of heart that I'm not sure I really buy.
It's later in the film, though, when they become a visible menace and start attacking in swarms that Don't Be Afraid of the Dark loses its potency. I can buy Kim and Alex not really paying attention to a certain point, and am even fine with the first time you really see the creatures attack Harris (Jack Thompson), the grandson of the worker who closed the basement. They surround him and give him a carpenter's equivalent of the "death of a thousand cuts," and it's still creepy. Unfortunately, it's only the beginning for how much more we're going to see of the little buggers, who are somewhere between rats and tiny primates with spindly arms.
The more you see of them, the less disturbing they are, and the more difficult it is to believe that only Sally seems to notice them everywhere. It comes to a head during Alex's big dinner presentation to Chalres Jacoby (Alan Dale) of a major architectural magazine. He's hoping to impress Jacoby enough to land the cover, but Sally keeps snapping photos with her Polaroid camera and makes a fool of herself at the dinner table. At this point, the stakes are supposed to be pretty high, but it plays out like a straight-faced version of the "dinner" scene from Sam Raimi's Drag Me to Hell. That it's followed by a visual effects heavy assault on Sally in the library only increases how much it stands out in the film.
I don't necessarily mind the ending (and by this, I mean the very ending, after we understand who the creatures really want), although the film gives such scant indicators as to why it happens that I'm sure most audiences had no idea what was going on. Without saying too much more, it develops Katie Holmes' Kim a little further but relies heavily that you remember one particular detail from the beginning of the film. Like The Orphanage (another Del Toro production), it takes the horror and places it within the realm of fairy tales, but only in a way that makes sense if you pay attention to a minute detail of an underdeveloped character.
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark isn't a failure per se but I wish the monsters had a much smaller visual presence in the film. Without a doubt that would result in a more effectively creepy film, one that already knows how to work the spine-tingling moments early on. It's worth checking out, but I can't help but feel like it could have been more.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Horror Fest 6 Day Two: Attack the Block
Doctor Tom here to ramble for a little bit about Attack the Block. This lovely little Edgar-Wright-produced quasi-Bildungsroman delivers a neat little punch with unlikely protagonists and heroes alongside believable, functional, non-ostentatious invaders-from-outer-space.
A group of teenager no-good-niks, led by the serious and staid Moses (John Boyega), arrives at the onset of the movie, causing mayhem and hijinks from mugging to mild vandalism, and stumble across a landed alien explorer that has smashed in the roof of a car. Not knowing what else to do with it, they cart the smelly, slimy alien corpse to the local druglord, who is more concerned with making his ineffectual record-company-quality beats and pushing product than a potential apocalyptic scenario centered on aliens and the plucky curiosity exhibited by said teenagers about said alien.
Like many films of this ilk, the plot takes the standard course: teenagers find alien, teenagers continue on standard path of running from the cops, witnessing the onslaught of an alien invasion located pretty much entirely within the same tenement complex, paeans to Matthieu Kassovitz, reuniting with a person they wronged and creating a forced team to destroy the momentary alien invasion, losing some friends along the way to the devouring/hungry alien invaders, and the teenagers being wronged and being incarcerated and blamed for all of the carnage and mayhem.
By that, I mean, the invasion is thwarted and the unity of unlikely partners generates a palpable feel-good vibe, but many of those conventions cease then and there. The protagonists are largely black Britons or other marginalized ethnic persons, with a thankfully polychromatic view of representations. The woman mugged by the gang at the outset of the movie (Sam the nurse, played by Jodie Whittaker) returns as a co-protagonist - and does not enter into the role of the redeemer or savior, leaving that to the rag-tag gang. In shout-outs to Kassovitz's La Haine, numerous shots with tricky diegetic/non-diegetic audio (namely when an ultra-stoned upper-crust Londoner shows up with earbuds repeatedly in, contrasted with the gang from La Haine wandering their banlieue), framing aspects, and bits of dialog subtly infiltrate the film, adding a bit to the smoldering, overall reading of the film as an interesting take on race relations in current-day England. Without divulging too many spoilers, no white people show up to "save" or "help" the misbegotten and marginalized; black characters are not shown as monochromatic, and in fact rather than the "black" stock character we see so often in sci-fi and horror films (who is typically the first to go), we maintain a racial diversity and representation all the way through - despite some of the gang's members being eaten along the way. There is an honest reflection of racial interrelations in the ultimate outcome - the white folk are treated by the police authorities at the end of the film like helpless victims hurt by lesser beings, and the colored folk are blamed, but this is despised and demonstrated as contemptible (as well it should be) by the end of the film. While the film never veers too closely into direct political discourse, there is one scene where Sam's boyfriend is revealed to be an aid worker in Ghana; one of the Afro-Briton teens responds "helpin' the children of Britain ain't good enough?" Granted, we're dealing with younger children who, despite street sophistication, probably aren't developmentally able to phrase subtle insults, so this may be in line with a 15-year-old's dismay; provided this is in the context of one of the central kids bleeding profusely amidst the onslaught of killer attack-aliens, I'm questioning why the writers felt this moment was appropriate for it, and whether the writers could have more subtly inserted this rib. At any rate, this one moment stands in relief with the rest of the fairly subdued political commentary - subdued, that is, in relation to giant, pitch-black, all-teeth alien invaders trying to figure out who killed their scout. This last bit, by the way, is solved by our "profoundly stoned" white weed customer who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and in a sense of speaking a bit totemic as the Labour party or the British creative class - filled with knowledge, but too drugged up and concerned for his own skittish welfare to remain stoned to be of much used other than supplying knowledge. All action is initiated by Moses - which itself is a nebulous statement on the state of affairs of the Blacks in England (or really any underrepresented ethnic group), and is ultimately blamed for the problems despite attempting to fix them - and take responsibility for unleashing / killing the original invader. I could write more, but I won't. The end.
Not really. For the somewhat unclarified statements on race relations, the movie was still plenty entertaining and engaging. Now I'm done.
Like many films of this ilk, the plot takes the standard course: teenagers find alien, teenagers continue on standard path of running from the cops, witnessing the onslaught of an alien invasion located pretty much entirely within the same tenement complex, paeans to Matthieu Kassovitz, reuniting with a person they wronged and creating a forced team to destroy the momentary alien invasion, losing some friends along the way to the devouring/hungry alien invaders, and the teenagers being wronged and being incarcerated and blamed for all of the carnage and mayhem.
By that, I mean, the invasion is thwarted and the unity of unlikely partners generates a palpable feel-good vibe, but many of those conventions cease then and there. The protagonists are largely black Britons or other marginalized ethnic persons, with a thankfully polychromatic view of representations. The woman mugged by the gang at the outset of the movie (Sam the nurse, played by Jodie Whittaker) returns as a co-protagonist - and does not enter into the role of the redeemer or savior, leaving that to the rag-tag gang. In shout-outs to Kassovitz's La Haine, numerous shots with tricky diegetic/non-diegetic audio (namely when an ultra-stoned upper-crust Londoner shows up with earbuds repeatedly in, contrasted with the gang from La Haine wandering their banlieue), framing aspects, and bits of dialog subtly infiltrate the film, adding a bit to the smoldering, overall reading of the film as an interesting take on race relations in current-day England. Without divulging too many spoilers, no white people show up to "save" or "help" the misbegotten and marginalized; black characters are not shown as monochromatic, and in fact rather than the "black" stock character we see so often in sci-fi and horror films (who is typically the first to go), we maintain a racial diversity and representation all the way through - despite some of the gang's members being eaten along the way. There is an honest reflection of racial interrelations in the ultimate outcome - the white folk are treated by the police authorities at the end of the film like helpless victims hurt by lesser beings, and the colored folk are blamed, but this is despised and demonstrated as contemptible (as well it should be) by the end of the film. While the film never veers too closely into direct political discourse, there is one scene where Sam's boyfriend is revealed to be an aid worker in Ghana; one of the Afro-Briton teens responds "helpin' the children of Britain ain't good enough?" Granted, we're dealing with younger children who, despite street sophistication, probably aren't developmentally able to phrase subtle insults, so this may be in line with a 15-year-old's dismay; provided this is in the context of one of the central kids bleeding profusely amidst the onslaught of killer attack-aliens, I'm questioning why the writers felt this moment was appropriate for it, and whether the writers could have more subtly inserted this rib. At any rate, this one moment stands in relief with the rest of the fairly subdued political commentary - subdued, that is, in relation to giant, pitch-black, all-teeth alien invaders trying to figure out who killed their scout. This last bit, by the way, is solved by our "profoundly stoned" white weed customer who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and in a sense of speaking a bit totemic as the Labour party or the British creative class - filled with knowledge, but too drugged up and concerned for his own skittish welfare to remain stoned to be of much used other than supplying knowledge. All action is initiated by Moses - which itself is a nebulous statement on the state of affairs of the Blacks in England (or really any underrepresented ethnic group), and is ultimately blamed for the problems despite attempting to fix them - and take responsibility for unleashing / killing the original invader. I could write more, but I won't. The end.
Not really. For the somewhat unclarified statements on race relations, the movie was still plenty entertaining and engaging. Now I'm done.
Horror Fest 6 Day Two: The Puppet Monster Massacre
In the wake of last year's ThanksKilling discovery, the Cap'n tries to find some homespun horror made for a very low budget. Young directors with vision tend to produce sillier horror movies because they can afford to, and rely on gimmicks you might not see higher echelon talent utilize. For example, let's say a Haunted House / Monster story told entirely with hand puppets, shot on a green screen in front of computer effects that remind you of Alone in the Dark 2. Or maybe when Sierra started releasing games on CD, like Gabriel Knight. That's The Puppet Monster Massacre.
When I first read a review of the film, I somehow missed the part that it was all puppets - I thought it was just the monster, who looks like an Otaku-ized version of Giger's Alien. Sure enough, every character is a puppet, from demented Nazi scientist Wolfgang Wagner (Steve Rempici) to the bunny rabbits he keeps around to feed his genetically modified super monster. The only character who isn't a puppet is a stuffed penguin that say "wak wak," and only Dr. Wagner can understand.
The evil doctor invites four teenagers from the town nearby to spend a night in his haunted mansion: there's Charlie (Ethan Holey), who is in the words of one character "kind of a pussy"; his best friend / would be girlfriend Gwen (Jessica Daniels); punk / fake limey Iggy (Bart Flynn); and Raimi Campbell (Dustin Mills), a geek / expert on horror movies (and, well, look at the name. One person groaned). Tagging along with Iggy is his girlfriend Mona (Erica Kisseberth), who Doctor Wagner allows to stay and compete for a million dollar prize. Of course, he really just wants to feed them to his monster so it will grow, as well as settle a score from forty years ago (the film takes place in 1985).
From that setup we're exposed to puppet gratudity, fart jokes, and extreme puppet violence. It's rather amusing in its willingness to go for the cheap laugh and pile on the gore at the same time (i.e. when Raimi meets the monster for the first time, he audibly shits himself for at least thirty seconds before leading the monster on a Scooby Doo-like chase, only to end up with half his head ripped off). The comedy is crude and frankly unrefined, but it suits a film featuring hand puppets will enough that I can't really complain. It's exactly what I hoped it would be when I realized the gimmick extended beyond the monster. By the time the monster is decimating an entire military unit, complete with slow motion shots and dramatic "war" music, it's clear The Puppet Monster Massacre has achieved exactly what it set out to. Silly, gross, and kind of stupid, but exactly the kind of goofy horror comedy that brings the energy up in a room.
When I first read a review of the film, I somehow missed the part that it was all puppets - I thought it was just the monster, who looks like an Otaku-ized version of Giger's Alien. Sure enough, every character is a puppet, from demented Nazi scientist Wolfgang Wagner (Steve Rempici) to the bunny rabbits he keeps around to feed his genetically modified super monster. The only character who isn't a puppet is a stuffed penguin that say "wak wak," and only Dr. Wagner can understand.
The evil doctor invites four teenagers from the town nearby to spend a night in his haunted mansion: there's Charlie (Ethan Holey), who is in the words of one character "kind of a pussy"; his best friend / would be girlfriend Gwen (Jessica Daniels); punk / fake limey Iggy (Bart Flynn); and Raimi Campbell (Dustin Mills), a geek / expert on horror movies (and, well, look at the name. One person groaned). Tagging along with Iggy is his girlfriend Mona (Erica Kisseberth), who Doctor Wagner allows to stay and compete for a million dollar prize. Of course, he really just wants to feed them to his monster so it will grow, as well as settle a score from forty years ago (the film takes place in 1985).
From that setup we're exposed to puppet gratudity, fart jokes, and extreme puppet violence. It's rather amusing in its willingness to go for the cheap laugh and pile on the gore at the same time (i.e. when Raimi meets the monster for the first time, he audibly shits himself for at least thirty seconds before leading the monster on a Scooby Doo-like chase, only to end up with half his head ripped off). The comedy is crude and frankly unrefined, but it suits a film featuring hand puppets will enough that I can't really complain. It's exactly what I hoped it would be when I realized the gimmick extended beyond the monster. By the time the monster is decimating an entire military unit, complete with slow motion shots and dramatic "war" music, it's clear The Puppet Monster Massacre has achieved exactly what it set out to. Silly, gross, and kind of stupid, but exactly the kind of goofy horror comedy that brings the energy up in a room.
Horror Fest 6 Day Two: The Dead
The undead have risen in Africa, and as the privileged try to escape in planes, the African army is trying to contain the outbreak (and failing). Lt. Brian Murphy (Rob Freeman) is a mechanic trying to get home to his family when the last plane out crashes. He washes up on the beach, escapes the zombies prowling the shore, and makes his way to the nearest town. Nearby, Sgt. Daniel Dembele (Prince David Oseia), is searching for his son, the sole survivor of an undead raid on their village. Murphy and Dembele's paths cross, and they agree to work together to reunite and escape. Murphy fixes a truck and the soldiers drive across the desert to find some sense of hope.
The Dead is a pretty good zombie movie from Africa that suffers from serious pacing issues in the second half. This is a shame, because much of the promise of the first half of the film dissolves into a directionless conclusion that doesn't pack the punch it should. On top of that, the political subtext is muddled - is the white protagonist supposed to represent the role of America in African life, or is he simply just another example of the post-Colonial presence in the Third World? Lt Murphy and Sgt. Dembele are set up as two men with different objectives working together out of convenience, but (SPOILER) once Dembele is killed, his quest to find his son feels like a cheap distraction. Even when Murphy finds Dembele's song (by accident, mind you), it doesn't have the impact that it ought to.
Zombie films tend to use the undead as a metaphor for the masses, but it's really unclear what The Dead is trying to with African zombies beyond the novelty. True, it is refreshing to see the undead shambling around in the desert, outside of the confines of large cities, but after a while it loses its appeal. The zombies don't serve any purpose - there's a suggestion of witch doctors and a dream sequence reminiscent of The Serpent and the Rainbow, but the undead are only a threat when the Ford brothers need them to be. Murphy easily hacks through a crowd of them near the end which lowers the stakes a few minutes later. The final zombie siege has no tension because we've already seen him survive.
I feel like I'm beating up on The Dead too much; I did enjoy most of the first half, and for a low budget movie it looks very good. The effects are impressive and the location provides an interesting contrast to the average urban zombie warfare. The acting is pretty good, and if you're in the mood for an undead film that delivers on the gore, The Dead is worth checking out.
Zombie films tend to use the undead as a metaphor for the masses, but it's really unclear what The Dead is trying to with African zombies beyond the novelty. True, it is refreshing to see the undead shambling around in the desert, outside of the confines of large cities, but after a while it loses its appeal. The zombies don't serve any purpose - there's a suggestion of witch doctors and a dream sequence reminiscent of The Serpent and the Rainbow, but the undead are only a threat when the Ford brothers need them to be. Murphy easily hacks through a crowd of them near the end which lowers the stakes a few minutes later. The final zombie siege has no tension because we've already seen him survive.
I feel like I'm beating up on The Dead too much; I did enjoy most of the first half, and for a low budget movie it looks very good. The effects are impressive and the location provides an interesting contrast to the average urban zombie warfare. The acting is pretty good, and if you're in the mood for an undead film that delivers on the gore, The Dead is worth checking out.
Horror Fest 6 Day One: Piranha (2010)
Alexandre Aja promised boobs and gore early on when discussing his remake of Piranha, and he delivered. There's a certain pleasure derived from seeing a movie with someone who hasn't seen it before, and Piranha is so shameless in its false tension and pure exploitation punctuated with extreme gore that you can't help but laugh. It's the kind of movie that you know immediately what's going to happen, but instead of being disappointed that it does, it delights you by being more depraved in its execution.
This is a film, after all, that includes a nude underwater ballet sequence AND a Grand Guignol bloodbath set piece where a wet t-shirt contest turns into an unmitigated blood bath. Where Jerry O'Connell's quasi-Joe Frances gets his johnson chopped off, swallowed, and spit back out at the camera. Where Richard Dreyfus cameos as Quint from Jaws and is killed by piranha. Where Christopher Lloyd provides exposition. A film with no less than four porn stars in the cast. If you're expecting more than what you get in Piranha, your expectations are astronomic.
I find that the film loses none of its charm or watchability on repeat viewings - it was just as enjoyable tonight as it was six months ago as it was when I saw it in 3-D in the theatre. It's nice to know that a filmmaker can toy with you without insulting your intelligence, and entertain and exploit at the same time.
Okay kiddos, it's time for bed. Nap'n Howdy isn't the young buck he used to be, and bed means more these days than it did during Horror Fest 1. I'll be back tomorrow with more reviews!
I find that the film loses none of its charm or watchability on repeat viewings - it was just as enjoyable tonight as it was six months ago as it was when I saw it in 3-D in the theatre. It's nice to know that a filmmaker can toy with you without insulting your intelligence, and entertain and exploit at the same time.
Okay kiddos, it's time for bed. Nap'n Howdy isn't the young buck he used to be, and bed means more these days than it did during Horror Fest 1. I'll be back tomorrow with more reviews!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Horror Fest 6 Day One: Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde
Dr. Black and Mr.Hyde deserves a longer write up than I'm going to be able to give it, so suffice to say that it's much better than Blackenstein, in part because of two names in the crew. The first is Stan Winston, and if I named nothing other than The Terminator, Predator, and Jurassic Park, I think it would be enough. He was in charge of the Dr. Hyde makeup effects, and while they may not sell the idea that Bernie Casey's Dr. Henry Pride is turning into a white man who loves killing prostitutes, it is a nice makeup effect. The other name is Tak Fujimoto, the cinematographer. Just click on his name to see what he would go on to shoot.
In brief, the story is... well, it's kind of an adaptation, with some huge logic lapses. Dr. Henry Pride is working on a cure for liver disease, but in addition to curing liver disease, it turns people white, gives them super powers, and a desire to kill. Specifically, Dr. Pride wants to kill prostitutes, including one of his patients from the Watts Clinic, Linda. There's a bunch of superfluous subplot about a pimp named Silky and two cops and Linda's friend or cousin or something to that effect, but mostly it's about the alter-ego of Dr. Pride wandering around and strangling hookers. The first time we see him he gets into a pretty cool bar fight, with one move in particular that left me wondering how the guy on the receiving end even stood up.
The ending at Watts Towers takes a page right out of the King Kong playbook, which is odd considering how exploitative the rest of the film is in its violence, gratudity, and generally sleazy middle section. I do give the film credit for explaining in a very understandable way why Dr. Pride is so devoted to curing liver disease and why he dislikes prostitutes. On the other hand, it's not necessarily clear whether he remembers what he did as Mr. Hyde or not until very late in the film. I also chuckled that even though he had the same clothes on as the guy who ravaged the bar that Silky and the rest of the patrons didn't recognize Bernie Casey because "some white dude did that." Really?
Up Next: Piranha (alas, not in 3-D)
The ending at Watts Towers takes a page right out of the King Kong playbook, which is odd considering how exploitative the rest of the film is in its violence, gratudity, and generally sleazy middle section. I do give the film credit for explaining in a very understandable way why Dr. Pride is so devoted to curing liver disease and why he dislikes prostitutes. On the other hand, it's not necessarily clear whether he remembers what he did as Mr. Hyde or not until very late in the film. I also chuckled that even though he had the same clothes on as the guy who ravaged the bar that Silky and the rest of the patrons didn't recognize Bernie Casey because "some white dude did that." Really?
Up Next: Piranha (alas, not in 3-D)
Horror Fest 6 Day One: The Island of Lost Souls
I offered two choices for the first film of Horror Fest 6: a classy Criterion Collection release of The Island of Lost Souls from earlier this week, or the 35th Anniversary Edition of Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde, another film in my continuing search for all Blaxploitation Horror films. Not surprisingly, the classy choice won out (although the blaxploitation played next), and we watched the long out-of-circulation Pre-Code Paramount answer to Universal Horror, Island of Lost Souls.
To be honest, I'm not too certain what I want to say about the film. I can understand why it would disappear for so long (and had, to this point, not been released on DVD) as many Pre-Hayes Code films had - it takes the "playing God" references further than Frankenstein did* and the material would be considered fairly salacious (trying to seduce a man using a half woman / half panther or the ambiguity of "The Law" and the House of Pain) at the time anyway. The film is an interesting relic of another time - it's as close as a Hollywood adaptation of The Island of Doctor Moreau was going to get for the 1930s, and while its pace fluctuates over 70 minutes, I was never bored. It dragged sometimes and relied heavily on punching to solve problems, but it does come out of the same era that King Kong did, which also relied on machismo to move past stubborn plot hangups.
Charles Laughton is arguably the most eccentric I've ever seen him (which has to be saying something) as Dr. Moreau (pronounced in the film as "Murrow"), while Bela Lugosi is actually barely in the film as "The Man Who States the Law." His presence is amusing though, because when he recites the law, the rest of the creatures on the island do a sort of mumbled echo of his accent, so it sounds less like repeating him and more like a "mrrmrrrm mrmrmrm mrrrm" every single time Lugosi says anything.
It was certainly nice to finally see the film (I've only seen parts of it to this point) and it set an appropriately bizarre tone for night one.
Up Next: Dr. Black and Mr.Hyde
* And for many years, the line "I know what it feels like to be God" had been cut out of Frankenstein altogether.
Charles Laughton is arguably the most eccentric I've ever seen him (which has to be saying something) as Dr. Moreau (pronounced in the film as "Murrow"), while Bela Lugosi is actually barely in the film as "The Man Who States the Law." His presence is amusing though, because when he recites the law, the rest of the creatures on the island do a sort of mumbled echo of his accent, so it sounds less like repeating him and more like a "mrrmrrrm mrmrmrm mrrrm" every single time Lugosi says anything.
It was certainly nice to finally see the film (I've only seen parts of it to this point) and it set an appropriately bizarre tone for night one.
Up Next: Dr. Black and Mr.Hyde
* And for many years, the line "I know what it feels like to be God" had been cut out of Frankenstein altogether.
Spoiler for the Day: Ginger Snaps Back
In a fairytale retelling of the first Ginger Snaps, Brigitte and Ginger are alone in the woods, bleeding. They press their hands together, mingling infected blood and ensuring both will be werewolves. Brigette's voice closes out the film, saying "The day of reckoning; the day the curse grew stronger in the Red and the Black. Sisters united in blood, together forever."
Tomorrow's Spoiler for the Day: Pieces
Tomorrow's Spoiler for the Day: Pieces
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Twas the Night Before Horror Fest...
That's right, boils and ghouls - Horror Fest 6 begins tomorrow night! Your Cap'n has been working to put together a great line-up and I think I have three days worth of thrills, chills, and bloodshed. I thought it would be fair to give you some idea of what kind of reviews you'll be seeing over the weekend, and hopefully a breakdown of what is showing when so that you can come join in on the mayhem.
Friday - The Island of Lost Souls, Bug, Insidious, Stake Land, Basket Case 2, Piranha, and Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde.
Satuday - All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, Galaxy of Terror, Troll Hunter, Attack the Block, Doghouse, The Frighteners
Sunday - April Fool's Day, 976-EVIL, The Boogens, A Night to Dismember, Intruder, Visiting Hours, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.
Will there be more surprises? Almost certainly, but that's for the Cap'n to know and you to find out.
For now, I'm going to check out More Brains!: A Return to the Living Dead!
See you tomorrow!!!!
Friday - The Island of Lost Souls, Bug, Insidious, Stake Land, Basket Case 2, Piranha, and Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde.
Satuday - All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, Galaxy of Terror, Troll Hunter, Attack the Block, Doghouse, The Frighteners
Sunday - April Fool's Day, 976-EVIL, The Boogens, A Night to Dismember, Intruder, Visiting Hours, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.
Will there be more surprises? Almost certainly, but that's for the Cap'n to know and you to find out.
For now, I'm going to check out More Brains!: A Return to the Living Dead!
See you tomorrow!!!!
Spoiler for the Day: Ginger Snaps 2 - Unleashed
Ghost helps Brigitte escape from the treatment center / psych-ward, only to trap the fully transformed Brigitte in her basement. Ghost creates a story about a powerful warrior (herself) and her werewolf pet, who will one day be unleashed on her enemies.
Tomorrow's Spoiler for the Day: Ginger Snaps Back
Tomorrow's Spoiler for the Day: Ginger Snaps Back
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Spoiler for the Day: Ginger Snaps
Ginger goes full on werewolf, and Brigitte has the option to save her or kill her. She decides to kill Ginger, but mixes her sister's blood with her own, ensuring that she too will become a lycanthrope.
Tomorrow's Spoiler for the Day: Ginger Snaps 2 - Unleashed
Tomorrow's Spoiler for the Day: Ginger Snaps 2 - Unleashed
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Spoiler for the Day: Shit Coffin
Jason is killed by a woodchipper, but not in the way you'd hope. A chain around his neck strangles him instead of chipping him, so Whatshisdick and Whocareswhathernamewas bury Jason in Crystal Lake, which moved from New Jersey to Texas. Jason jumps out and does something, I really don't remember or care to find out. It was boring, there's not a Shit Coffin 2 (exactly), so we're done with Jason Voorhees movies.
Tomorrow's Spoiler for the Day: Ginger Snaps
Tomorrow's Spoiler for the Day: Ginger Snaps
Horror Fest Retro Review: Weasels Rip My Flesh
We close out of Retro Reviews of Classic Horror Fest and Summer Fest reviews with the only movie from Horror Fest V I can legitimately claim makes less sense than Hausu - Weasels Rip My Flesh.
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Let's get this out of the way first: No. No, Weasels Rip My Flesh has nothing whatsoever to do with the Frank Zappa album of the (mostly) same name, but if you're willing to dig hard enough to find the connection, I tip my hat off to you. The movie, apart from that tenuous connection, is a super-low budget, presumably home-made, horror film about a killer weasel, and some other things.
When Weasels Rip My Flesh is in focus, you can tell that the creature(s) don't look like weasels. Fortunately, there aren't many point involving the monster where the weasel (or we-man) are visible, and there's a lot of movie that might make sense a) if you wrote it, b) if you could scale back the music, or c) if it seemed like there was a plot in the first place. The super-cheapo horror film reminds me of a less polished A Taste for Flesh and Blood, which should set off alarms for readers who are familiar with Warren F. Disbrow's New Jersey-based alien invasion films. On the other hand, there's a lot of fun to be had trying to figure out what's going on, and the final "twist" is dumb enough to elicit some chuckles.
The "story" (which can only be gleaned from reading the back of the DVD cover) involves a rocket trip to Venus (demonstrated by a shot of something that looks like a 4th grade science fair "rocket" next to burning rocks) that goes awry and crashes outside of Long Island. When two youths run afoul of a weasel, they decide to get even by pouring a canister marked "Toxic" into the weasel hole, creating a giant potato monster with teeth. I think. Again, in order to mask the nonexistent budget, director Nathan Schiff keeps the camera VERY close to the monster, and unfortunately almost all of the shots are out of focus.
Our giant weasel then wanders into town, is hit by a car and scampers off. For whatever reason, the driver takes its severed arm home, invites a buddy over, and is invariably attached by the meaty, gooey appendage. By the way, I should point out that for the many things that Weasels Rip My Flesh doesn't quite get right, being decidedly gross is not one of them. The movie is loaded with goopy, gloppy gore, ripped flesh (I know that you were wondering), body parts torn asunder, gunshots, and rabid, radioactive creatures. The weasel attacks also turn humans rabid... well, sometimes. When the story seems to be stalling anyway.
Finally, around the halfway point in a 68 minute movie, we meet our hero. If he has a name, I missed it (the library music catalog soundtrack wipes out most dialogue) but you know he's a badass because he wears Aviator sunglasses and always smokes a cigar. He and his partner are investigating the crash (I think) when they're kidnapped by a man I can only describe as Jason Schwartzman's audition tape for Man on the Moon. He's a scientist (we only are certain of this because his living room - which is clearly a living room - is described as "a lab") and is breeding more of these radioactive weasels. This part reminded me more of A Taste for Flesh and Blood 2: All Hell Breaks Loose, in that it also uses common household implements to suggest a breeding facility for the dangerous creature.
At this point, if you're tuning out, I'll say a few words that kept things interesting for us: Human / Weasel hybrid vs Giant Weasel (or, as we saw it, Giant Potato fighting guy with a brown celery stalk for a head) in a battle to the death, plus the villain, who is shot point blank in the lungs, has his head bashed in against a wall, then has an arm ripped off by the giant potato, and still lives. That brings us to the "most outrageous ending you'll ever see" (described accordingly on the back of the DVD cover), which involves another deadly menace. I'd tell you what it was, but the movie's only 68 minutes long, so it's not asking too much of you to find out for yourself. I mean, how hard can Weasels Rip My Flesh be to find?
---
Let's get this out of the way first: No. No, Weasels Rip My Flesh has nothing whatsoever to do with the Frank Zappa album of the (mostly) same name, but if you're willing to dig hard enough to find the connection, I tip my hat off to you. The movie, apart from that tenuous connection, is a super-low budget, presumably home-made, horror film about a killer weasel, and some other things.
When Weasels Rip My Flesh is in focus, you can tell that the creature(s) don't look like weasels. Fortunately, there aren't many point involving the monster where the weasel (or we-man) are visible, and there's a lot of movie that might make sense a) if you wrote it, b) if you could scale back the music, or c) if it seemed like there was a plot in the first place. The super-cheapo horror film reminds me of a less polished A Taste for Flesh and Blood, which should set off alarms for readers who are familiar with Warren F. Disbrow's New Jersey-based alien invasion films. On the other hand, there's a lot of fun to be had trying to figure out what's going on, and the final "twist" is dumb enough to elicit some chuckles.The "story" (which can only be gleaned from reading the back of the DVD cover) involves a rocket trip to Venus (demonstrated by a shot of something that looks like a 4th grade science fair "rocket" next to burning rocks) that goes awry and crashes outside of Long Island. When two youths run afoul of a weasel, they decide to get even by pouring a canister marked "Toxic" into the weasel hole, creating a giant potato monster with teeth. I think. Again, in order to mask the nonexistent budget, director Nathan Schiff keeps the camera VERY close to the monster, and unfortunately almost all of the shots are out of focus.
Our giant weasel then wanders into town, is hit by a car and scampers off. For whatever reason, the driver takes its severed arm home, invites a buddy over, and is invariably attached by the meaty, gooey appendage. By the way, I should point out that for the many things that Weasels Rip My Flesh doesn't quite get right, being decidedly gross is not one of them. The movie is loaded with goopy, gloppy gore, ripped flesh (I know that you were wondering), body parts torn asunder, gunshots, and rabid, radioactive creatures. The weasel attacks also turn humans rabid... well, sometimes. When the story seems to be stalling anyway.
Finally, around the halfway point in a 68 minute movie, we meet our hero. If he has a name, I missed it (the library music catalog soundtrack wipes out most dialogue) but you know he's a badass because he wears Aviator sunglasses and always smokes a cigar. He and his partner are investigating the crash (I think) when they're kidnapped by a man I can only describe as Jason Schwartzman's audition tape for Man on the Moon. He's a scientist (we only are certain of this because his living room - which is clearly a living room - is described as "a lab") and is breeding more of these radioactive weasels. This part reminded me more of A Taste for Flesh and Blood 2: All Hell Breaks Loose, in that it also uses common household implements to suggest a breeding facility for the dangerous creature.
At this point, if you're tuning out, I'll say a few words that kept things interesting for us: Human / Weasel hybrid vs Giant Weasel (or, as we saw it, Giant Potato fighting guy with a brown celery stalk for a head) in a battle to the death, plus the villain, who is shot point blank in the lungs, has his head bashed in against a wall, then has an arm ripped off by the giant potato, and still lives. That brings us to the "most outrageous ending you'll ever see" (described accordingly on the back of the DVD cover), which involves another deadly menace. I'd tell you what it was, but the movie's only 68 minutes long, so it's not asking too much of you to find out for yourself. I mean, how hard can Weasels Rip My Flesh be to find?
Monday, October 24, 2011
*Ahem*
There will be a Horror Fest at the end of Shocktober this week. But not just any Horror Fest:
Coming Friday, Saturday, and Sunday - October 28th-30th, 2011
Horror Fest 6 will happen at Cap'n Howdy's Borrowed Basement in Scary, North Carolina. Come rain, come shine, from dusk til dawn horror movies will play. Sunday from 11:30-6 we'll be watching a steady diet of 80s slasher flicks chosen by you, the readers, including - 976-EVIL, A Night to Dismember, Intruder, April Fool's Day, Visiting Hours, and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.
BYOB but since this isn't my place, let's not go super wild, eh? Let's go regular wild and enjoy the horror movie madness! Muahahahahahaha!
HORROR FEST 666
Coming Friday, Saturday, and Sunday - October 28th-30th, 2011
Horror Fest 6 will happen at Cap'n Howdy's Borrowed Basement in Scary, North Carolina. Come rain, come shine, from dusk til dawn horror movies will play. Sunday from 11:30-6 we'll be watching a steady diet of 80s slasher flicks chosen by you, the readers, including - 976-EVIL, A Night to Dismember, Intruder, April Fool's Day, Visiting Hours, and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.
BYOB but since this isn't my place, let's not go super wild, eh? Let's go regular wild and enjoy the horror movie madness! Muahahahahahaha!
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