Because the Cap'n hadn't actually seen the first five minutes (or so) of Watchmen, and because of a combination of Borders Bucks and coupon action, I supposed it might not hurt to at least watch the beginning of the movie - if not the whole thing - since I could bring the damn thing home for free.
I'm on the record as saying that it wasn't some horrible disaster like I assumed it would be. On the other hand, not only did the film not live up to the considerable hype that comic fans and the internet raised it to, but the movie had a lot of other problems. The changes in story were dumb and kind of arbitrary, the music cues were mixed in a little too loudly, and the speed ramp-ing was a taaaad overused.
There was something else that bothered me about the movie, something that I couldn't quite put my finger on until I saw the beginning and skimmed through the beginning of the film again. When I realized it, I understood immediately why I had such a hard time getting into the world of Watchmen: the makeup appliances look horrible.
It's not just Nixon, who does look like a bad impersonation of an impersonation of Nixon; it's everyone. I think I mentioned in the other review that Sally Jupiter and the original Nite Owl looked bad, but it's not limited to the "old age" makeup. Castro looks terrible, Pat Buchanan is all but unrecognizable until Jim Lehrer (or a guy who barely looks like him) says his name. Kennedy looks awful and fake. The only person with a rubber (or latex) appliance that is even remotely convincing is Moloch (Matt Frewer), and I'm convinced it's because you don't notice the ears right away.
I spent 90% of the well-crafted opening credits alternating between settling into the world of the comic and being instantly pulled out by really shoddy makeup. I don't know why it's so bad but I had a very hard time buying into the story when such simple effects work looked so fake. The "old age" Comedian looked like he had piles of appliances dolloped on his face just before shooting, and it can really kill the mood. More than anything, this may be the reason I'm reticent to finish watching the Watchmen, even for free. That's a shame, because I might give the movie a fighting chance if I could get over such a simple mistake.
Showing posts with label borders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label borders. Show all posts
Monday, August 10, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Hold on, Ricky!
If you're attending Bad Movie Night (and many of you have indicated you are), you should be thanking Borders right now. Since they marked down their dvd inventory 40%, my quest for the "Bag of Badness" became much easier.
Oh, did the Cap'n not mention the "Bag of Badness"?
Funny you should ask, me, because every attendee of Bad Movie Night will be reaching into said bag and pulling out their own terrible, horrible, no good really bad movie to take home. And you will take it home.
If you're wise, you'll use it to make your own Bad Movie Night. That way you can do the same thing to me when I attend (which I promise I will).
What can lucky BMN-ers expect when they reach into the bag? Well, I'd hate to ruin the surprise, but I'll give you some hints:
80s cheese
Double and Triple features
Unnecessary sequels
Keanu Reeves
Giant Monsters
Musicals
Explosions
Martin Short
Are you excited yet? You will be, because I'm not done on my quest yet... There's always Edward McKay's Used Books and more.
---
After watching Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky at home last night, I'm going to spill the beans that it's more than likely the "surprise" movie. This does mean that Punisher: War Zone will only be sampled along with other contenders / offenders.
What Riki-Oh does is take a Peter Jackson movie and drop it into a kung fu film. The gore is there, the heavy synth score, the inventive shots and angles. Hell, even the "final monster" is reminiscent of Dead Alive.
But instead of people with New Zealand accents, you have questionable Mandarin or Cantonese dubbing with subtitles transcribed by a drunken baboon. There will be a drinking game associated with the number of misspelled words, questionable sentences, or outright incomprehensible translations. I promise, those who play will be rather sloshed by the end.
The Story of Ricky is just weird enough and just violent enough to keep you captivated and disgusted for 88 minutes, which is exactly what I could hope for. Why on earth it didn't occur to me before is a mystery.
Consider it my gift to you on the weekend after my *ahem* birthday. Between Troll 2, Mac and Me, The Story of Ricky, and Batman & Robin, you're going to have a very good time. I'm also putting together a trailer reel from Youtube to show between movies, and thanks to Mr. Cranpire, Doctor Re-Animator will be making a return appearance. Perhaps more than once. If Saturday isn't enough, perhaps I'll spill it over to Sunday, and maybe start early on Friday after Crank: High Voltage. I mean, The Giant Claw deserves a shot too.
Off to remove some tags. I'm about four movies away from the perfect "Bag of Badness", and I know exactly where to find the rest. Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.
Oh, did the Cap'n not mention the "Bag of Badness"?
Funny you should ask, me, because every attendee of Bad Movie Night will be reaching into said bag and pulling out their own terrible, horrible, no good really bad movie to take home. And you will take it home.
If you're wise, you'll use it to make your own Bad Movie Night. That way you can do the same thing to me when I attend (which I promise I will).
What can lucky BMN-ers expect when they reach into the bag? Well, I'd hate to ruin the surprise, but I'll give you some hints:
80s cheese
Double and Triple features
Unnecessary sequels
Keanu Reeves
Giant Monsters
Musicals
Explosions
Martin Short
Are you excited yet? You will be, because I'm not done on my quest yet... There's always Edward McKay's Used Books and more.
---
After watching Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky at home last night, I'm going to spill the beans that it's more than likely the "surprise" movie. This does mean that Punisher: War Zone will only be sampled along with other contenders / offenders.
What Riki-Oh does is take a Peter Jackson movie and drop it into a kung fu film. The gore is there, the heavy synth score, the inventive shots and angles. Hell, even the "final monster" is reminiscent of Dead Alive.
But instead of people with New Zealand accents, you have questionable Mandarin or Cantonese dubbing with subtitles transcribed by a drunken baboon. There will be a drinking game associated with the number of misspelled words, questionable sentences, or outright incomprehensible translations. I promise, those who play will be rather sloshed by the end.
The Story of Ricky is just weird enough and just violent enough to keep you captivated and disgusted for 88 minutes, which is exactly what I could hope for. Why on earth it didn't occur to me before is a mystery.
Consider it my gift to you on the weekend after my *ahem* birthday. Between Troll 2, Mac and Me, The Story of Ricky, and Batman & Robin, you're going to have a very good time. I'm also putting together a trailer reel from Youtube to show between movies, and thanks to Mr. Cranpire, Doctor Re-Animator will be making a return appearance. Perhaps more than once. If Saturday isn't enough, perhaps I'll spill it over to Sunday, and maybe start early on Friday after Crank: High Voltage. I mean, The Giant Claw deserves a shot too.
Off to remove some tags. I'm about four movies away from the perfect "Bag of Badness", and I know exactly where to find the rest. Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Happy Quantum of Sausage Day!
I guess that rumor about Borders cutting their dvd stock back wasn't a rumor after all. The entire section is marked with red stickers to indicate 30% Off on every type of disc they sell. If you're paying careful attention or spend a lot of time in Borders, it's easy to notice discs that don't "move" frequently are marked down over big sellers.
This is not without its perks, all things considered. I was able to pick up The General, Darkman, Commando, Cat O' Nine Tails, and the original House of Wax and The Mummy for greatly reduced prices. It helps if you stick to the cheaper stuff anyway, but it is a good chance to get boxed sets and discs that might be just a little too pricey for cheaper.
Like Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too. Or, say, View to a Kill. For example.
---
How would all attendees of "Bad Movie Night" like to leave with their own copy of a trash classic that didn't make the cut? You wouldn't? Too bad!
If this sale keeps going, you might all get something different and equally craptacular to take home for your own "Bad Movie Night".
---
"Say, Cap'n..."
Yes, blogorium audience?
"Could you maybe scrounge up a little-seen tv special to really demonstrate how bad it can get on your so-called Bad Movie Night?"
You mean, one not starring Paul Lynde?
"Preferrably not that one. I mean something that really makes us hate our lives."
Can do, reader-inos!
---
Short Circuit has no right to look as good as it does on Blu Ray. It only confounds me even more, because clearly somebody spent time cleaning the print up and making this movie look as good - probably better - than it ever has.
The disc looks so good you can even make out the bad makeup job on Fisher Stevens to pretend he's playing an Indian.
And yet, The African Queen still isn't even on dvd. There is no justice in this world.
---
If you'll excuse me, I need to watch Vertigo. It's possible I'm only supposed to watch Vertigo but everyone needs to watch Vertigo, the movie so nice I mentioned it thrice. In two sentences.
This is not without its perks, all things considered. I was able to pick up The General, Darkman, Commando, Cat O' Nine Tails, and the original House of Wax and The Mummy for greatly reduced prices. It helps if you stick to the cheaper stuff anyway, but it is a good chance to get boxed sets and discs that might be just a little too pricey for cheaper.
Like Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too. Or, say, View to a Kill. For example.
---
How would all attendees of "Bad Movie Night" like to leave with their own copy of a trash classic that didn't make the cut? You wouldn't? Too bad!
If this sale keeps going, you might all get something different and equally craptacular to take home for your own "Bad Movie Night".
---
"Say, Cap'n..."
Yes, blogorium audience?
"Could you maybe scrounge up a little-seen tv special to really demonstrate how bad it can get on your so-called Bad Movie Night?"
You mean, one not starring Paul Lynde?
"Preferrably not that one. I mean something that really makes us hate our lives."
Can do, reader-inos!
---
Short Circuit has no right to look as good as it does on Blu Ray. It only confounds me even more, because clearly somebody spent time cleaning the print up and making this movie look as good - probably better - than it ever has.
The disc looks so good you can even make out the bad makeup job on Fisher Stevens to pretend he's playing an Indian.
And yet, The African Queen still isn't even on dvd. There is no justice in this world.
---
If you'll excuse me, I need to watch Vertigo. It's possible I'm only supposed to watch Vertigo but everyone needs to watch Vertigo, the movie so nice I mentioned it thrice. In two sentences.
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