Horror Fest Day One: Ghoulies 2

While I'm waiting for people to arrive, I popped in 28 Days Later, but of course the dvd player didn't want to work with that disc, so instead, I fired up Ghoulies 2, a gem from that glorious decade of horror, the eighties (the same eighties that brought us Monster Squad, Return of the Living Dead, and Killer Klowns from Outer Space.)

Ghoulies 2 starts out with a little truck labeled DEN OF SATAN, which turns out to be a carnival ride, but when we see it, it's a truck. Quicker than you can say "presto change-o", some drunk kid's uncle is talking about how much fuller the moon is, and then the radiator starts acting up.

This is our preamble to the credits, and thereby the two most important things we need to know about Ghoulies 2:

1. It's a Charles Band production (later of Full Moon Pictures, the company behind Puppet Master, Castle Freak, and The Dead Hate the Living)

2. The Ghoulies were created by John Carl Buechler (he who directed Friday the 13th Part Seven and was like the third ranked effects guy in the eighties behind fledgling KNB and Tom Savini)

But what is a movie about Demonic Puppets without a little Satan Worshipping??? After staring at the fuller moon for a while, we see this guy who looks like Leonard Nimoy running with a sack full of kittens (or is it... Ghoulies?), escaping the woods with three guys in red cloaks and blue jeans in warm pursuit.

Lucky for the old guy (and us), there's an abandoned gas station with a conveniently unlocked door, and an even more convenient open barrel of solvent which is labeled "EXTREMELY TOXIC" (I'm not kidding), for him to drop those demonic kitties into. (The Devil Worshippers just kind of give up chasing him and go home)

But the Ghoulies have better plans, and after dispatching that Leonard Nimoy looking motherfucker, they sneak into the also conveniently unlocked SATAN'S DEN truck, and off to the circus we go.

We, the audience, know things are going to get whacky and wild, because Ghoulies are only about two feet tall and look like baby gremlins, or rats, or in one instance, a cat, and generally don't seem to do anything but make mischief and stab people with razors and knives left about by some errant carny.

Speaking of carnies, I'd be remiss not to mention midget Danny Trejo (or is it midget Gallagher? The world may never know) and the strong man, who delivers bon mots such as this:

Girl destined to be attacked: "Have you seen my little muffy?"
Strong Man: "Who hasn't?"

Oh, those crazy carnies...

But SATAN'S DEN is in trouble because it isn't making any money, and the stock jerkoff eighties Yuppie guy tells them it's going to close in sixteen hours. But when some idiot teenagers and two eleven year olds go into the spook house, those whacky Ghoulies destroy their jukebox and hurl snot at them! Hilarity!!!

Somehow, two eleven year olds convince every teenager at the carnival to buy tickets for SATAN'S DEN, and you can see where this is going. What hijinks will those Ghoulies pull now? How drunk can the Great Fausto really get? Will the sleazy yuppie get the girl, or will the earnest but mullet sporting young hero?

All this and so much more! Ghoulies 2 may never actually be mistaken for a horror movie, but damn if it isn't a hoot.