From the Vaults: Blogorium Review - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

editor's note: apparently, I never re-posted this review of Shane Black's Kiss Kiss Bang Bang which, in retrospect, was probably a good idea. Don't get me wrong - I stand by my endorsement of the film and you'll find Kiss Kiss Bang Bang mentioned frequently in the Blogorium, but it's only fair to add my initial reactions, as inarticulate as they may be. Additionally, I have no idea what's going on in the last paragraph.

I never understood what the big deal was about Shane Black; I mean, I like Lethal Weapon, and I never saw The Last Boy Scout but I did also like The Long Kiss Goodnight, but not in the kind of way you'd ever say "holy crap! you need to see those movies!!!" and I thought it was cool that he was in Predator, but then again what about Predator isn't cool? (that's not a question I intend for you to answer because the answer is nothing about predator isn't cool. period end of discussion) but I never got the whole deal about him being this big time Hollywood script writer who was envied in the same was Joe Ezsterhas was until Jade came out.

also, we'll just ignore Last Action Hero, eh? I remember as a youngster that something was wrong with a 90% empty theater on opening night, let alone the sheer awfulness that is Last Action Hero)

That was, until I saw Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Now I understand what all the fuss was about, and why it's such a damned shame that he's been MIA for 9 years in Hollywood. See, it has to do with all the legions of idiot script doctors hired to make a script more "palatable to the idiots in middle america" (and yes, that does include Joss Whedon who contributed the most groan-worthy line of ALL TIME to X-Men because even though Arnold's puns in Batman and Robin sucked it was still Arnold so you were expecting it) and as I'd never read Shane Black's drafts for Lethal Weapon or The Long Kiss Goodnight, I was judging his work based on the movie up on the screen. However, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is Black unfiltered, without any of those idiots who "punch up" a draft (*cough*toadstruckbylightning*cough*) and accordingly, it's one seriously subversive mystery-comedy-action-thingy ever to be released in too few theaters and accordingly forgotten about two weeks later. Which makes sense. This is the kind of movie where someone hands you a copy and says "holy crap! you need to see this movie!" and you don't believe them because they told you to watch Junebug and The Chumscrubber and you think maybe their threshold for good movies is a little more lax than yours but you watch it anyway and holy crap, they're right. It's about time Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer got their chance to shine and by gawd not drop the ball, and sure as shit they run with it.

Anyway watch it and if you disagree and think it's overcooked and too self aware then whatever because I still like Junebug and I still like the fuckin' Chumscrubber and Joss Whedon should've known better than to stick a Buffy joke into an X-Men movie. Otherwise I'm cool with him except for Speed which would've tanked and tanked hard were it not for his contributions, and then maybe just maybe those pieces of shit Matrix movies never would've happened.

Scott Pilgrim Snark

The Cap'n is going to keep this very brief because a) I haven't seen Scott Pilgrim vs. The World*, and b) I've already spent the better part of Thursday reading blogs, Facebook posts, internet analysts, and reviewers get into why it doesn't matter that Scott Pilgrim made 10.5 million dollars in its opening weekend, because The Expendables will be forgotten and isn't any good blah blah blah.

Everybody who reads this already knows how I feel about The Expendables (in short: it's a good but not great movie that was entertaining and mostly achieved what it set out to do), and you've already seen how I reacted to the dismissive or quasi-disappointed reviews. You also know that I frequently make jokes about the way that Box Office performance equates to the quality of a film, and on occasion have stuck up for movies that I didn't feel like got a fair shake**. So I get where people are coming from.

That being said, there is a very simple reason that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World came in fifth last weekend (not third, which is how some people are framing it, as though The Expendables and Eat, Pray, Love were the only movies Pilgrim came in behind. The Other Guys and Inception were third and fourth, respectively): the vocal contingent online didn't go see the movie. It's that simple. That could always change in the coming weeks (I mean, Avatar didn't light the world up in its first weekend), but people didn't turn out to see the greatest movie this year (etc). Period.

And to be clear about something, this is not a movie where exposure was strictly online; until last Friday, TV viewers were bombarded with ads for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. At least three times during practically every show I watched last week (and that includes Futurama, Louie, Sportscenter, That Metal Show, and Man vs. Food, so it's not strictly "geek"-centric) there was an ad for Scott Pilgrim. There was an 8-foot standee at the Regal 14 in Santa Fe, and posters everywhere. It's not like folks didn't know this movie was coming out August 13th. They simply chose not to see it.

Frankly, the Cap'n was surprised: I fully expected that when we went to see The Expendables on Friday night that we'd be in the less crowded theatre. It sure seemed like every other person we saw in line was going to see Scott Pilgrim, but I guess that wasn't the case.

I'm fine with people speaking out on Scott Pilgrim's behalf. What I don't really like is people shitting all over the competition (not necessarily the article in question, but the comments to be sure) because the movie "underperformed" - and believe me, the studio is looking at it that way, even if the fans aren't. I've lamented many a film in the past that "underperformed" - Grindhouse, MacGruber, Crank: High Voltage, and Serenity, but I try not to blame it the other movies (the glaring example is in the footnotes). I have, in the past, ribbed fans of Watchmen and Kick-Ass or lamented the (to me) inexplicable popularity of Transformers and Friday the 13th, but there's a simple rule that wins the day: if people don't go to see a movie, however good or "groundbreaking" it is, and it was marketed out the wazoo, people are going to ask "Why?"

Instead of being unhappy that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World didn't "perform" as well as four other movies last weekend and accordingly bad-mouthing the other films (especially The Expendables, which is its own punching bag for other reasons), do something about it. Go see the movie this weekend. Tell all of your friends and take them to see it. Look, the Cap'n HATED Kick-Ass, and I may have relished a bit too much that nobody went to see it, but I openly admit that it has a devoted fan base of people who are buying it on DVD and Blu Ray, and I myself saw the light about Drag Me to Hell and couldn't be happier that it found its audience on home video.

In short, it's time for some tough love: stop your whining and do something about it. If you think Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is the best thing since sliced bread, mobilize your readers and excite your friends about the movie. Fans of Avatar did it, so surely you can too. Just don't ask the Cap'n to join, because I think I'll be watching Piranha 3-D this weekend, and I'm really not in the mood to hear about how that movie is "inferior" to Scott Pilgrim if you don't get off of your asses and put your enthusiasm to good use.


p.s. Just so the Cap'n is not accused of simply "making this up," I refer you to a handful of post-mortems or reviews, including a discussion thread from referring to MTV's article, a much more reasonably disappointed reaction from someone who watched both films, the DVD release list page from Ain't It Cool News where Harry bemoans the success of Miley Cyrus' The Last Song compared to Scott Pilgrim, C.H.U.D.'s review and box-office take on Scott Pilgrim, and Vern's review of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, which directly addresses Hitfix, Ain't It Cool News, and C.H.U.D. I also recommend you check out comments, forums, and talkback areas, including the Hitfix one listed above to see what the general fan reaction is.

* I like Edgar Wright. I like everything I've seen Edgar Wright make, including Shaun of the Dead, Spaced, Hot Fuzz, "Don't", and the student film he made that's an extra on Hot Fuzz. Nothing about Scott Pilgrim makes me want to see the movie, despite the above sentence.
** For example, I gave the Zac Efron vehicle 17 Again some guff for beating out Crank: High Voltage, even though there's honestly no reason to be surprised that happened.