How dare the Cap'n not love My Name is Bruce?

With a premise like "a small town accidentally unleashes a Chinese demon, so they kidnap actor Bruce Campbell to help them fight the demon with disastrous consequences", you'd think My Name is Bruce would be a lot better than it is. Or maybe longer. But it's neither better nor longer. What it is, however, is better than a lot of movies mentioned in My Name is Bruce.

or this:

.. or this: .. or even this: .. But believe me, My Name is Bruce has an uphill battle to climb, even to be marginally better than those Sci-Fi Channel Originals. It boasts one of the worst supporting casts available. I don't mean name-wise, I mean these people make Casper Van Dien look like Lawrence Olivier. Aside from Ted Raimi and Ellen "Evil Dead" Sandweiss, you're not going to know anybody in this movie. Unless you're Cranpire, I'm guessing. Yes, Mr. Cranpire, I said it: My Name is Bruce, had it starred anyone other than Bruce Campbell, would be total shit*. It's not just that the townspeople are terrible or that the story struggles to fill eighty-four minutes or that the actual scenes with Bruce and the Demon Gwan-Ji are underwhelming (at best), but there's no way a movie that sounds this awesome on paper could just barely keep it together. Of course, this movie has Bruce Campbell, and he single handedly (no pun intended) keeps it entertaining, both in front and behind the camera. The film is so low budget that the sequences for "Cave Alien 2", the film Campbell is making, look like they cost more than all of My Name is Bruce. It's riddled with silly references to Bruce films and, when they couldn't get the rights, ones that look suspiciously like them. Keep an eye out for the "Death of the Dead" poster that looks very reminiscent of a certain Evil Dead sequel. But Bruce isn't just making a movie about how awesome he is. No sir, this might be the only low budget wonder since Cannibal! The Musical to incorporate as many ridiculous sound effects that stand in for expensive foley artists. And it'll make you laugh when you hear them (repeatedly). There's a certain "homemade" quality to My Name is Bruce that makes the awfulness acceptable, and to be honest, it's as good as Campbell has had a chance to be in a while. That being said, I'm not going to recommend this movie to anyone that's not a die-hard Bruce Campbell fan. There's just not point in subjecting yourself to something so lousy if you don't already own both of the man's books (If Chins Could Kill and Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way) or an autographed copy of Crimewave (on VHS**). This is really truly for people predisposed to love this movie, no matter how underwhelming it is. And now I will await the brow beating from Mr. Cranpire, who will chastise me and my incorrect ways for making fun of a) Terminal Invasion, b) Alien Apocalypse, c) The Man With the Screaming Brain, and d) My Name is Bruce. God forbid I point out their flaws when they have none. You may commence the verbal lashings, sir, after I point out one key factor: I bought My Name is Bruce sight unseen, despite the bad reviews online, and still plan to keep it, unless the Blu Ray ever becomes cheaper. I also found every single Easter Egg, including the screen of nothing BUT easter eggs. Flame on. * unless, for some reason, it was still called My Name is Bruce. Then it might be conceptually funny but still terrible. ** actually, Cranpire owns the signed vhs. didn't mean to mislead you. Bruce did sign my book and Cranpire took a picture. see it up there? that's my book he's signing and there's crimewave.