Friday, February 20, 2009

Blogorium Quick Hits: Stuck and Brides of Dracula

Stuart Gordon's Stuck has one thing going for it, and that's the gore. Otherwise, the movie is riddled with idiotic characters doing things that conveniently serve the story but don't make sense. It was, at times, like watching an episode of Heroes. Stuck isn't a very long movie, either, so this was a serious problem.

The movie uses the "Based on True Events" conceit to excuse lapses in logic and decisions made that consistently insult common sense. Stuck is "based" on the story of a Texas woman who ran into a homeless man. Instead of taking him to the hospital, she left him stuck in her car until he bled to death three days later in her garage. That is, admittedly, fucked up.

However, I sincerely doubt she brought her drug dealer friend over to try to kill the man trapped in her car or that more than one of her neighbors had the chance to save the guy but instead decide that they shouldn't for no reason. I also seriously doubt that said drug dealer was killed by the victim in the car with a pen and then he used the car to pin her to the garage wall and burn it down. Oh, that's AFTER he got away, she knocked him out with a hammer, and dragged him back into the garage.

Decisions like the ones above are far from the most egregious parts of Stuck, but they demonstrate just how preposterous the writer thought he could make things if it was "based on a true story". People routinely act ways that are oppositional to their best interests and no one, including the victim, seem to behave in a way that's less than moronic. I get that it should be reflecting the reality that didn't make sense, but Stuck pushes it too far. You'll find yourself saying "really?" too many times in this movie.

As I said, the gore was excellent. Stuart Gordon, likely best known for Re-Animator and From Beyond, knows his way around effective prosthetics work, and the myriad of injuries to Tom Bardo (Stephen Rea) are impressive, if cringe inducing. The aformentioned "pen" kill is also well done, and if you want to count it as an effect, Mena Suvari's cornrows are a feat unto themselves.

Nevertheless, this is not something worth spending your time on, even if you're a fan of Stuart Gordon.

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Brides of Dracula was a mostly predictable, if fun, Hammer vampire film until the very end when it hit two very clever plot turns I didn't see coming at all. One involved the location the climax takes place in (a variation on the Frankenstein film but done in a very different way) and another solution to Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) being bitten that was borrowed much later by John Carpenter in his film Vampires. For those alone, Brides of Dracula is worth checking out, Christopher Lee or no Christopher Lee.

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