Five Movies: Looking Forward

Welcome to Five Movies, a periodic feature on the Blogorium where the Cap'n spotlights five films worth your attention. This edition is focused on a quintet of features I'm looking forward to over the summer. Of the five, four of them have already been released in one form or fashion, but not in a way where I've been able to sit down and check them out.

After being able to check out a number of other "of interest" films beneath the surface, whether for good (American: The Bill Hicks Story), or for less-than-good (Hobo with a Shotgun), the Cap'n is ever looking forward, and the five films below aren't necessarily on the cultural radar the same way a Thor, Pirates of the Caribbean, or The Hangover Part 2 are. They may not be the top of the advertising heap, but they might move up your mental queue a bit after today.

1. Rubber - Can I interest you in a movie about a killer, psychic tire? Rubber has consistently been garnering positive (is slightly bewildered) reviews as Quentin Dupieux's film made its way through the festival circuit, and is now on VOD. Provided the Playstation Network ever comes back, I look forward to diving into one of the stranger films I've heard about in recent years, a film favorably compared to Blood Car by a colleague. That's more than enough incentive for the Cap'n to check it out.



2. The Hole - Okay, here's a film nobody seems to be talking about. Like John Landis' (not very good) Burke and Hare, The Hole is Joe Dante's return to feature-length movie making - his first since Looney Tunes: Back in Action. The Hole (also like Burke and Hare) hasn't been released in the United States, and while I can understand the Landis one (it's really just not funny AT ALL) The Hole seems to be generally well reviewed by those who see it. The hesitation seems to be linked to its role as a "kids' horror movie," and the film has been mentioned as being similar to The Gate, which is played well at Horror Fest in a room full of adults.

I suppose there might be some hesitation about releasing a "kid friendly" horror film (even in 3-D); I can't really remember one since Monster House, and it's a long ways away from when it was regular fare to drop the children down for matinees of Gremlins or Monster Squad. Still, I find it odd that Dante and Landis, two "geek friendly" directors, are having so much trouble making it back to their native soil. Okay, Dante anyway - if you'd seen Burke and Hare, the Landis situation wouldn't be so perplexing. Count me in for seeing The Hole when and if it ever makes it stateside.

3. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - I don't really know much about Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, other than the premise: two well-meaning hillbillies (Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine) are vacationing in a cabin when a group of teenagers stumble across them, assume they are planning to kill them, and try to fight back. The film is an inversion of films like Wrong Turn or The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, where the protagonists are assumed to be "evil" and the ineptitude of the antagonists (the kids) keeps killing them off.

The film fares very well on IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes, so it's strange that there's virtually no buzz about this film. I'd seen a photo on Bloody Disgusting last year or two ago, then had totally forgotten Tucker & Dale vs. Evil existed, so its forthcoming release has my attention.

4. The Cabin in the Woods - Of the five, I have to say I'm the most concerned about this film. The Drew Goddard (Lost, Cloverfield) directed, Joss Whedon (Serenity, The Avengers) scripted horror film is shrouded in secrecy, and has been sitting on the shelf for nearly two years. The MGM financial collapse prevented The Cabin in the Woods (which stars Bradley Whitford, Richard Jenkins, Amy Acker, and Chris Hemsworth), and the only exposure anyone seems to have with the film is the snarky posters, which poke fun at horror movie conventions.

So the pieces make sense, the lack of release isn't directly attributable to a "bad" movie (which is often why a film is shelved, although not always *coughAlltheBoysLoveMandyLanecough*), so why then is the Cap'n nervous? Well, like Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, The Cabin in the Woods has been suggested to be a horror-comedy, but unlike the former film, this one apparently leans heavily on the "horror" over the "comedy," and has been described as "high concept." Don't get me wrong, but this is a fine line to walk: Buffy the Vampire Slayer was consistently more humorous than frightening, and while you can argue the relative merits of The Frighteners, Scream, or The Evil Dead, but it is a rare kind of movie that can be scary AND funny*. I am therefore cautiously optimistic, understanding that the odds may not be in The Cabin in the Woods' favor.

For my final pick, I'm going to look a year out for a movie nobody else seems remotely interested in.

5. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance - So here's the deal as I see it: Nicolas Cage (Drive Angry) is coming back, with Neveldine / Taylor (Crank, Gamer) directing based on a story from David Goyer (Blade Trinity). There is no chance Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is going to be a good movie. It's going to be a TERRIBLE movie, filled with spastic editing and camerawork, a likely incoherent script, and unrestrained Mega-Acting from Mr. Cage. It's a perfect storm of bad ideas rolled into one movie.

The question isn't "how bad will it be?" but "can this unasked for sequel to Ghost Rider reach the level of camp that the first film did?" The Cap'n understands that I am all alone on the "this can't be so bad by accident" appreciation of Ghost Rider, a movie so willfully stupid, so unbelievably asinine that one can't help but stare at the screen, jaw agape. That said, all of the pieces are in place for Spirit of Vengeance to be every bit as ridiculous as its predecessor, in large part because Neveldine and Taylor injected seriously absurd moments into Crank and Crank: High Voltage, including but not limited to a Giant Monster fight in the middle of the film. Their influence is joined by Goyer's original story, which if it's anything like Blade Trinity, is a good sign.

I don't know if you've seen Blade Trinity, in part perhaps because you sat out Blade and Blade II, but I urge all fans of "bad" cinema to seek out this cacophony of imbecilic ideas, egregious over-acting, and brainless plot holes. If there's a film that gives Ghost Rider a run for its money, it would be one where WWE Superstar Triple-H shoots the sun a bird because he's a vampire. Only a film with vampire Pomeranians could compete with Nicolas Cage jumping over a football field of running helicopters riding a motorcycle. Now, it should go without saying that these films are not "good"; if you somehow skipped to this paragraph, these are BAD movies, but nevertheless very entertaining trainwrecks. If Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance comes anywhere close to them, count me on board.



* For the sake of argument, allow me to make my case about Evil Dead II, Shaun of the Dead, Slither, Fright Night, and An American Werewolf in London (to name a few), which are all more comedy than horror. Even Dead Alive and Drag Me to Hell, which balance shocks with yuks, lean heavily on comedy as a form of relief, without many lingering chills.