That was easy.
Oh, you wanted more than that. A "retro review" is supposed to be a reconsideration of a particular film or series of films, putting them in their original context and then tracing the way they change with audiences. Who said that? I said that? That doesn't sound like something I'd say. It is though?
Damn. Okay, let's do it your way then.
I don't really remember feeling one way or another about the film, other than thinking it was really stupid. I remember not liking the scene with Will Ferrell as Mustafa, mostly because I really hated Will Ferrell on Saturday Night Live in 1997 and didn't find him to be very funny in the movie. It's been so long since I saw the film that I couldn't tell you much about it, although for reasons I don't quite understand I ended up having Austin Powers on VHS and that it made periodic appearances in college.
What was that? Not the last two? Really? Surely Deep Blue Sea. No?
Let's assume, that based on the intoxicating effects of a summer of movies that provided entertainment for most, and a break from the summer heat for all, that a guy like the Cap'n who by the way worked at a movie theatre and could see any and all of them for free might be excited for movies he may not be so interested in now. Like Austin Powers: The Spy Who
So anyway, if you haven't figured it out, I REALLY liked the second Austin Powers film. I don't know why, but it just caught my funny bone and wouldn't let go, and I'm pretty sure I saw it three or four times that summer. I know I arranged a special screening just for some friends from high school, and that was the second or third time I'd seen it. Suddenly everything I didn't like about the first film clicked and I laughed and laughed.
And then it came out on video, or maybe DVD. I don't remember when I saw it again, but suddenly it wasn't funny. Not at all. Outside of the crowd howling with laughter and divorced from the pop culture references that faded away, the movie was a mishmash of gags that weren't funny or relied too heavily on topical humor. It was a sobering moment, one I would come to understand again when I saw Shrek, another movie that worked exactly one time and then was dated immediately. This may not be fair, but the thing they had in common was Mike Myers.
About ten minutes in, my friend wanted to leave. I've turned a few movies off, but I've never left a movie, and I've seen some real dreck (shocker!). Goldmember had me tempted, and while we should have thrown in the towel knowing we'd be all the better for it, I insisted we stay and "get our money's worth." We paid for this garbage, and dammit, we were going to sit through it. If we didn't, how would we ever make it through The Matrix Reloaded or Alien Vs. Predator?
Distaste turned into disdain turned into seething hatred by the end of the film. Not even the presence of Michael Caine as Nigel Powers or the evolution of Seth Green's Scott Evil into a truly dangerous psychopath could salvage Goldmember. And I don't even want to talk about Goldmember the character, another opportunity for Myers to trot out a silly voice with a silly look and nothing else. Just like Fat Bastard, as the third film made painfully clear.
I have not seen Goldmember again and don't ever plan to. Now there's a fourth Austin Powers film in the works, because The Love Guru wasn't the final nail in Myers' theatrical coffin, it turns out. Never saw that, either. To be honest, I haven't seen Mike Myers in a film I liked other than Inglourious Basterds, and it wasn't his "British Officer Who Provides Exposition" that made the film for me.
So let's go out on a limb here and guess that since The Spy Who Shagged Me went back to the 60s and Goldmember went to the 1970s that we're in for Austin Powers in the 1980s. The jokes write themselves! Please forgive me for sparing you the review for that film, even if it would be a "So You Won't Have To."
On that note, I think the short version would have sufficed for all of us, no?