Previously on Cap'n Howdy's Blogorium:
I
started but haven't finished watching Slaughter of the Vampires, which
is a nice slice of Italian Cleavesploitation (no nudity, but lots of
nubile young ladies in very tight bodices for no reason whatsoever) and I
guess a vampire. I mean, there is one, but I'm not far enough in to see
what his plan is, other than finding a new vampire bride (the old one
was left behind and staked by angry villagers).
The film is dubbed but it's not such a bad thing. I don't honestly know
how watchable it would be with subtitles, and horror is the universal
language, y'know? Besides, I'm pretty sure that the vampire is a German
gentleman and perhaps this was a multilingual shoot, like those
Spaghetti Westerns.
For some reason, this movie was released stateside as Curse of the
Blood Ghouls, which is admittedly a better title, but it doesn't set you
up for any vampire slaughter. I like it when the movie promises you
something and then kinda delivers on it in the first three minutes.
Hopefully there's more slaughtering to come.
Here's the trailer, which looks much worse than the dvd picture does. Kudos to Dark Sky Films for cleaning this up, I suppose.
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming:
I'll give Slaughter of the Vampires
this: it's a more appropriate title than Curse of the Blood Ghouls, but
just barely. Technically speaking, three vampires are killed, so it
earns the plural quotient, and at least one of them is stabbed pretty
viciously, so I'll count that as "slaughter". Otherwise, there's not
much about the trailer or the title of the film that would be considered
"accurate".
Most of Slaughter of the Vampires
is about talking. And waiting. And talking about waiting. There's some
momentum at the beginning, when the Vampire (he has no actual name, just
Vampire, but is played by Dieter Eppler) and his first vampire bride
(not sure who) are running like crazy from angry villagers. After he
escapes and she doesn't, Count... uh, Vampire rides like crazy in a
carriage to a castle. It's not really clear how he knows about the
castle or if he lived there, but he moves into the cellar.
The
castle belongs to Wolfgang (Walter Brandi) and Louise (Graziella
Granata) and assorted servants. The Count takes a liking to Louise and
decides to make her his new vampire bride. Very. Slowly. So slowly that
Wolfgang has lots of time to talk about it with the servants and a
Doctor and then to travel out of town to visit Dr. Nietzsche (Luigi
Batzella). They talk some more and eventually get around to hunting down
Louise, Count Vampire, and Louise's inexplicably vamped out servant
maiden (also don't know the name. IMDB is a little vague).
As
I said before, the movie is 79 minutes long. During that time I fell
asleep three or four times, woke up, and rewound the dvd only to
discover I'd missed nothing. Typically, it was a shot of Wolfgang 0r Dr.
Nietzsche waiting for something to happen, followed by a shot of the
vampire or Louise with "dramatic" music, except that they were also
waiting. There's a lot of waiting for a movie where almost nothing
happens.
I will say two things kept my attention, and
neither one of them were the abundant cleavesploitation of Louise (who
spends 80% of the movie in a low cut nightgown):
1.
Count Vampire's main theme is played on a Theremin, which has the exact
opposite effect they were intending (rather than mysterious and creepy,
it's pretty silly).
2. The dubbing is done the same way
many Japanese films are dubbed, so you get lots of overexplained
sentences in order to match the mouths of characters. For example,
Wolfgang says "Here comes the Doctor who was a good friend of mine in
school. He will help you out he is a good Doctor. He does not bother
you, does he little girl, you are not afraid of Doctors."
For
a movie with a gratuitous bath scene (I mean, there is absolutely no
reason for the bath, unless you really need to argue re-introducing a
character late in the film) which is less suggestive than Louise's
nightgown, Slaughter of the Vampires
is pretty lackluster. I should have known better than to rewind after
nodding off, because I probably stretched the running time into actual
90 minute territory as a result, and this movie doesn't deserve it.
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