Bad Decisions in the Mine Shaft

Tonight we watched My Bloody Valentine 2-D, aka the original film from 1981, complete with all gore intact. Scratchy though it may be, My Bloody Valentine benefits greatly from the added presence of eye-gouging, tattoo piercing, corpse drying effects. Combined with the insistence on a plot that requires every character do the opposite of what they should, the movie can finally sit atop the pile of cash-ins on the success of Friday the 13th.

My Bloody Valentine would still be fun without the reinstated grue. Since the premise of the film is based on miners (or high school students... it's really up to you) throwing a Valentine's Day party in a mine they were specifically told NOT to, we're already in slasher territory. What's fun about MBV is that in order to conform to certain genre conventions (couples splitting off to make out, a rising body count, the murderer's mysterious back story) the characters consistently make decisions that aren't just stupid for their "type", they're stupid for anyone in any movie.

For example, all of the much-to-old-to-be high school student miners insist on wandering off alone or doubling back when it's abundantly clear (even to them) where the killer is. Other characters, like the token "drunken old coot", continue doing things like testing their prank well beyond the point it would be funny, even to them.

When one gentleman returns to find his girlfriend hanging from the faucet, instead of freaking out he slowly makes a series of "acting" faces. Most of the cast, in fact, make faces like this all throughout the film to indicate how much they are "feeling". Strangely, the only effect it has is to make the audience laugh, particularly when the Sheriff willingly gives up several opportunities to save the kids in order to stand around and look pained.

The "twist" ending of MBV is admittedly a pretty good one, although kind of predictable. Since you can guess almost immediately after being introduced which characters are GUARANTEED DEAD MEAT, the one that doesn't bite it on-camera and is never discovered is a pretty good bet. The reason why the masked miner is killing everyone is a little dodgier, but it fits in the scheme of "whatever works with what we have".

Overall, My Bloody Valentine works because it tries a little too hard to mimic Friday the 13th and Halloween. The effort is so great that it renders large chunks of the movie implausible, but it's hard to argue with the kills. From what I've heard, a few of the really good pickaxe kills are replicated in the 3-D version, which would make seeing it of interest. It may never be a classic like big brother Jason, but My Bloody Valentine is one of the better "second-wave" slasher films. The addition of long deleted kills bumps it further into the "recommended" category.