Horror Fest VIII (Day Two): The Haunting and The Woman in Black

 I have a piece of advice for any character in a Nightmare on Elm Street sequel (remakequel?): if you really need to stay up, like not fall asleep at all, just watch The Haunting and The Woman in Black back to back. Do it alone in the middle of the night and you'll be too terrified to close your eyes, let alone fall asleep. Freddy will just be twiddling his thumbs, waiting impatiently while you seek every shadow for the terrible ghosts waiting to murder you.

  Nancy had the right idea trying to watch The Evil Dead, but there's something to be said for an atmospheric haunted house movie. Many contenders are out there, and horror fans have their favorites, but for me, Robert Wise's The Haunting edges out The Innocents and The Uninvited. The only one that comes close for the Cap'n is Lady in White, and that has everything to do with the fact that it terrified me as a child. But The Haunting is, for me, the haunted house movie to go to and it's all about atmosphere.

 You never see a ghost in The Haunting, and, in fact, the only "effect" on camera is the pulsing door between Nell (Julie Harris), Theo (Claire Bloom), and whatever might be on the other side. Wise relies entirely on sound and the cast does the rest of the work, with Harris handling the brunt of the scares. It's a fair argument as to whether Hill House is actually haunted or if Nell's tenuous grip on reality is feeding off of the creepy vibe. She's not helped in any way by the distant Dr. Markway (Richard Johnson), the emotionally manipulative Theodora, or the pragmatic but otherwise "audience surrogate" Luke (Russ Tamblyn). Is she losing it or do the spirits haunting Hill House really have it in for the most vulnerable member of this research team?

 The Haunting is a brilliant exercise in audience manipulation, slipping you into Nell's mindset without the benefit of snapping you back to reality. The response from other members seems unwarranted, but we're predisposed to her perspective, so of course something is trying to get her. Only on the other side of the credits is the ambiguity more clear - are they really under attack or feeding off of each other's anticipation for something to happen? Did something really move or were we not paying attention to the background carefully? The imagination is really quite a powerful tool to scare, and you won't find many better of building tension merely by suggestion until things literally go careening off of the road.

 The Woman in Black is less subtle, and designed with more "jump" scares - although nowhere near the level you'd find in a Paranormal Activity or Haunting in Connecticut - as well as making it pretty clear there IS a ghost and that she has the power to directly impact the world of the living. That said, the second theatrical release from the newly branded Hammer Films (the first was Let Me In) has enough atmosphere to carry it past the mandatory "scares" modern audiences seemingly require.

 I've already reviewed The Woman in Black here at the Blogorium, and I selected it specifically because it does make you fear the darkness in your own home. Where the Cap'n lives, there's an upstairs "loft" section that overlooks the living room, and I won't pretend I haven't glanced up there while writing this. It's late and there's nobody else here but... you never know.

  While I'm pretty sure I mentioned this last time (forgive me, it's late... or early, I guess), but I do appreciate that director James Watkins takes a slow approach with the ghost. Instead of lots of "jump" scares, there are long scenes wherein Arthur (Daniel Radcliffe) is sleeping or distracted while in Eel House and the "woman in black" appears and creeps up on him. We can see her, but he can't, and the tension is palpable. It's so much easier to have "nothing, nothing nothing, LOUD NOISE," but until late in the film Watkins resists doing that much with the titular specter. It's much appreciated, and to be honest, that set up / pay-off isn't going to work as well after Sam Raimi took modern horror directors to school with "jump" scares in Drag Me to Hell.

 I'm still not gaga about the very end (what happens to Arthur is appropriate and narrative-ly inevitable), but that last shot is... I don't know. Yes, it's one last jolt to the audience and it does its job, but there's something about letting Arthur wander off into the mist that's in keeping with the slightly ethereal, fairy tale tone of the film. I know that Hammer is planning on a sequel, set (I believe) in the 1940s, which could be interesting. I'd be curious to see what direction they head in. I've been told the original version of The Woman in Black (the TV movie, but also the novel) is much creepier, but for the moment I'm having a hard enough time wanting to close my eyes. She might be up there...

 Oh well, I must give in to sleep, so maybe it wouldn't work out for the children of Elm Street. At least I know I have to be up in a few hours for the last three films of Horror Fest VIII, so chances of waking up are pretty high. I hope... 

 Up Next: The Wolf Man and Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man, and then... John Dies at the End!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

 Forget December, the month of October has and likely will always be Cap'n Howdy's favorite time of the year. After all, you don't give yourself a bastardized moniker from The Exorcist without being into horror movies, and the season of Samhain / Devil's Night / Halloween is exactly the time for a good scare.

 As many of you know, the Cap'n also holds my annual festival of shocks this time of year, and Horror Fest VII will be a-happening, albeit probably later than usual for reasons I'll get into when the official announcement is made. In the meantime, I like to stack October with reviews for horror films, so while I will continue to watch movies like Looper and The Campaign, the focus from here on out will be on thrills and chills, with the occasional horror documentary thrown in for good measure.

 However, as the Cap'n finds himself at work more often than he isn't, I haven't had the time I normally have to seek out horror movies I haven't seen. That makes it harder to share them with all of you, so I'm opening up the comments for solicitations, recommendations, and any ideas of "theme" reviews (like looking at a series of films or one particular actor/actress's body of work).

  Below, I'm going to try to list as many horror films as I can remember having seen so you don't have to deal with Cap'n Buzzkill saying "seen that" over and over. In all honesty, while I have seen many horror films, there are a LOT I haven't and even more I haven't heard of that I'm sure would be cool to see. Just a note: I have tried and failed to enjoy Syfy Channel Original Movies, and don't see that changing.

 Alternately, you can use the below list to construct your own October movie playlist. This way, we both win!

---


 The Universal Classic Monsters: Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, Bride of Frankenstein, The Phantom of the Opera, Son of Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, Ghost of Frankenstein, Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Revenge of the Creature, The Creature Walks Among Us, Werewolf of London.

 The Classics: Nosferatu, The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari, M, The Old Dark House, The Haunting, Night of the Living Dead, The Exorcist, Halloween, Rosemary's Baby, The Omen, The Last House on the Left, The Hills Have Eyes, Carrie, Godzilla, Island of Lost Souls, Vampyr, Blood Feast (?), The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Alien, Suspiria, The Shining, Psycho.

 Hammer Horror: The Horror of Dracula, Taste the Blood of Dracula, Dracula has Risen from the Grave, The Curse of Frankenstein, Dracula A.D. 1972, Plague of the Zombies, Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires, The Woman in Black.

 Werewolves: An American Werewolf in London, The Howling, Ginger Snaps, Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed, Ginger Snaps Back, Dog Soldiers, Werewolf in a Girl's Dormitory, The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman, Silver Bullet, Bad Moon, Waxwork (?).

 Vampires: Mark of the Vampire, Return of the Vampire, Martin, The Lost Boys, Let the Right One In, Curse of the Undead, Fright Night, Fright Night II, From Dusk Till Dawn, From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money, Slaughter of the Vampires, Vampire's Kiss, Shadow of the Vampire, Innocent Blood, Daybreakers, The Hunger, Thirst, Near Dark, The Lost Boys: The Tribe, Dracula 2000, Bram Stoker's Dracula, I Am Legend, The Omega Man, The Last Man on Earth, 30 Days of Night, 30 Days of Night: Dark Days, Cronos, Sleepwalkers, Salem's Lot, Vampire Hunter D, Rabid.

 Ghosts: The Lady in White, The Orphanage, The Devil's Backbone, Hillbillys in a Haunted House, The Entity, House on Haunted Hill, Thirteen Ghosts, The Asphyx, The Others, The Frighteners, The House by the Cemetery.

 Zombies / Infected / Fake Zombies: Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead, Survival of the Dead, 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, The Crazies, The Signal, Pontypool, Zombi 2, The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue, Dead Snow, Cemetery Man, Dead & Buried, Planet Terror, Fido, [REC]3: Genesis, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, The Dead, Dead Alive / Braindead, Bong of the Dead, Zombies on Broadway, Zombie Strippers, Tombs of the Blind Dead, The Dead Hate the Living.

 Evil Houses / Hotels / Etc.: Hausu, The Amityville Horror, Poltergeist, The Inkeepers, 1408, The Legend of Hell House, Silent Hill.

 Creature Features: The Giant Claw, The Boogens, ThanksKilling, Rise of the Animals, Ghoulies, Ghoulies 2, Troll, Troll 2, Alligator People, Them!, Feast, Feast II: Sloppy Seconds, Feast III: The Happy Ending, Black Sheep, C.H.U.D., Night of the Lepus, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, Weasels Rip My Flesh, Kingdom of the Spiders, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Matango, Piranha, Jeepers Creepers, Jeepers Creepers 2, Phenomena, Monsturd, Attack of the Crab Monsters, Little Shop of Horrors, The Gingerdead Man.

 Killbillies: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Wrong Turn, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, The Hills Have Eyes Part 2, The Devil's Rejects, House of 1000 Corpses, I Spit On Your Grave.

 Killbots: Chopping Mall

 Killer Trees: The Happening, From Hell It Came, The Navy vs. the Night Monster.

 Found Footage: [REC], [REC]2, Cloverfield, The Blair Witch Project.

 Aliens / Invaders / Etc.: Invaders from Mars, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Fiend without a Face, Flesh Eaters from Outer Space, A Taste for Flesh and Blood 2, Galaxy of Terror, The Blob, Beware! The Blob, Forbidden World, The Deadly Spawn, Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Whisperer in Darkness, The Call of Cthulhu, Alien Apocalypse, Terminal Invasion, Attack the Block, Terrorvision, The Stuff, The Galaxy Invader, Bad Taste, The Faculty, The Thing from Another World.

 Satan / Demons / Pagans / Witches / Etc.: Night of the Demons, The House of the Devil, Incubus, Demons, Demons 2, The Church, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, The Wicker Man, From Beyond, The Gate, Inferno, The Mother of Tears, Satan's Little Helper, The Rest of the Exorcist movies, Season of the Witch, Equinox, Lisa and the Devil, Manos: The Hands of Fate.

 Killer Santas: Silent Night, Deadly Night, Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2, Saint, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, Santa's Slay, Christmas Evil.

 The John Carpenter Section: In the Mouth of Madness, The Fog, Prince of Darkness, The Ward, Ghosts of Mars (?), Vampires, The Thing.

 Anthologies / Amicus: Tales from the Crypt, The Vault of Horror, The House That Dripped Blood, Doctor Terror's House of Horrors, From Beyond the Grave, Tales That Witness Madness, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, Trick 'r Treat, Creepshow, Creepshow 2, House of Frankenstein, Trilogy of Terror, Cat's Eye, Black Sunday, Chillers, Spirits of the Dead, Tales of Terror, Two Evil Eyes, Twilight Zone: The Movie.

 Blaxploitation: Blacula, Blackenstein, Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde, Scream Blacula Scream, Abby, Tales from the Hood.

 Slasher Flicks / Giallo: Black Christmas, The House on Sorority Row, Slumber Party Massacre (1-3), Sleepaway Camp, The Burning, The Prowler, Uncle Sam, Splatter University, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, Maniac Cop, The Stepfather, Maniac, The Driller Killer, The Stepfather 2, See No Evil, Cheerleader Camp, A Night to Dismember, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Sorority Babes at the Slime Ball Bowl-o-Rama, Mortuary, Evil Laugh, Visiting Hours, April Fool's Day, The New York Ripper, The Tool Box Murders, Seven Deaths in the Cat's Eye, Cat in the Brain, Four Flies on Grey Velvet, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, Deep Red, Blood and Black Lace, Pieces, Blood Runs Cold, Sisters, Dressed to Kill.

 Horror Series: Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Hellraiser, Halloween, The Evil Dead, Child's Play, Leprechaun, Re-Animator, Phantasm, Return of the Living Dead, Saw, Resident Evil, Scream, Wishmaster, Hostel, Underworld, Blade.

 Remakes: Quarantine, Quarantine 2: Terminal, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dawn of the Dead, John Carpenter's The Thing, The Fly, The Crazies, Shit Coffin, Shit Coffin 2, Fright Night, Piranha 3D, Piranha 3DD, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, The Hills Have Eyes, House on Haunted Hill, Th13een Ghosts, The Wicker Man, Night of the Living Dead, My Bloody Valentine 3D, The Wizard of Gore, The Thing (remake/prequel), The Ring, The Ring 2, Willard, Night of the Living Dead 3D, The Wolfman, The Blob, Bodysnatchers, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Haunting.

 Horror Documentaries: Fangoria Weekend of Horrors, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Revisited: A Family Portrait, Halloween: 25 Years of Terror, His Name was Jason, More Brains: A Return to the Living Dead, Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy, Val Lewton : The Man in the Shadows, Screaming in High Heels: The Rise and Fall of the Scream Queen Era, Best Worst Movie, Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film, American Scary.

 Horror Comedies / Parodies / Etc.: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Shaun of the Dead, Student Bodies, Return to Horror High, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Beetlejuice (?), Ghostbusters (?), House, House II: The Second Story, Drag Me to Hell, Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, 2001 Maniacs, Basket Case, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, It's Alive, Night of the Comet, Night of the Creeps, Cabin Fever, I Sell the Dead, Some Guy Who Kills People, Slither, The Monster Squad, Dead Heat, Zombieland, The Puppet Monster Massacre, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever, My Name is Bruce, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dark Shadows, Tales from the Crypt Presents Demon Knight, The House of Long Shadows, Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood.

 Meta Horror: The Cabin in the Woods, Behind the Mask; The Rise of Leslie Vernon, Rubber, Funny Games.

 Things That Don't Exactly Fall Into Those Categories: The Descent, Absentia, The Descent Part 2, Blood Car, Teeth, The Mist, The Ruins, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats, The Toxic Avenger, Frankenhooker, Street Trash, High Tension, Martyrs, House of Wax, The Raven (1932), The Black Cat, May, Roman, Sleepy Hollow, Faces of Death, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, Godsend, Village of the Damned, The Bad Seed, Maximum Overdrive.

 Okay, so this isn't everything, but I have to stop for now. As I remember more, I'll update more, but please let me know if there's something I NEED to see or would really enjoy or if there's something you really want me to review.

Blogorium Review: The Woman in Black

 The Woman in Black is the highly anticipated prequel to Frank Laloggia's 1988 thriller Lady in White. Wait? It's not? Oh... that actually makes more sense then. It's actually a film presented from the revamped Hammer Films and is the first post-Harry Potter appearance of Daniel Radcliffe in theatres*. It's a stylish, atmospheric ghost story that does remind one of Hammer's "gothic" reputation from the 1950s and 60s. While it has some minor issues, I have to say that I enjoyed The Woman in Black and found parts of it to be quite creepy.

 Albert Kipps (Radcliffe) is a solicitor and widower at the turn of the twentieth century. Haunted by memories of the death of his wife (Sophie Stuckey) during childbirth, Kipps has had difficulty paying his debts and is on thin ice with the law firm he works for. He is sent north to settle the Eel Marsh House and the estate of Alice Drablow, and despite the warnings of nearly everyone in the adjoining village, he travels to the abandoned manor to retrieve her papers. Slowly but surely, Arthur comes to realize he isn't alone in the house, and that the specter of a woman dressed in black isn't simply interested in haunting him. No, the titular character has her sights set on vengeance on all of the children of the village, due in no small part to a wrong visited on her by the Drablows and a tragedy involving their son.

 The Woman in Black opens with an ominous sign of things to come: three sisters are playing with their dolls when, for reasons unclear, something off camera they can see (but the audience cannot) wills them to walk, side by side, out of the window and to their deaths. Before we've met our hero or have any idea why this might be happening, we have some idea of the threat posed to children in the film. Child endangerment is an effective tool in horror, as are fog shrouded islands, dusty, dark old houses, and creepy dolls / toys. The setting is appropriate because it isolates Arthur as soon as he arrives: the telephone hasn't made it north yet and when he desperately needs to prevent his own son  (Misha Handley) from arriving, a supernaturally influence fire prevents him from being able to send a telegram.

 The only person in town who has a car is Sam Daily (Ciarán Hinds), a man who remains skeptical about anything "haunting" Eel Marsh House, even though he and his wife Elizabeth (Janet McTeer) lost their son under mysterious circumstances. Even as Arthur's presence in the village, traveling back and forth from the manor, causes more tragic deaths of children (in horrible ways like ingesting lye or self immolation), Daily remains unconvinced of any ghostly interference. Arthur, on the other hand, becomes more convinced that the Woman in Black is tied to all of this, just as the villagers warned him. He decides to solve the mystery surrounding the ghost when several revelatory documents appear around the house. That is, if she doesn't have plans for him first...

 One of the things that works so effectively for The Woman in Black is the Eel Marsh House itself: it's situated on the other side of a, well, a marsh, and during high tide the estate becomes an island, separating Arthur from any assistance until the waters subside. It raises the tension, in part, because the ghost isn't beholden to any type of day, and what Arthur doesn't know about her is the source of the chills early in the film. As the film transitions from "haunted house" to "supernatural mystery" and we learn more about who the people who lived in that home, the film loses its footing a little bit, but still remains creepy.

 If I had to point to a weakness in the film, it would be fair to note that the resolution to the "ghost" story is a bit of a cheat: you can think of it as a variation on what happens in The Ring in the third act, but The Woman in Black doesn't quite resolve itself as well. It's a thematically appropriate ending, I'll give it that, but considering the highly efficient buildup I couldn't help but feel underwhelmed at the ending. It also raised a larger question which is moderately SPOILER-ish: if the Woman in Black is able to kill the children of other villagers when anyone sees her, and Alice Drablow lived in the house where Arthur sees the ghost repeatedly until her death, how are there any children left in the village?

 This is a minor nitpick, but I can't help but feel that The Woman in Black could have reached its conclusion without the fake resolution followed by a rushed "twist," followed by an abrupt ending.

 Honestly, even with those minor points, I highly recommend The Woman in Black. It has a similar atmosphere to The Haunting or The Others and relies less on "jump" scares and more on the audience slowly noticing details in the background that Arthur does not. When things cut loose later in the film, it still manages to balance quick shocks with mounting tension, interspersed with hallucinatory dream sequences, flashbacks, and visuals. Daniel Radcliffe and Ciarán Hinds are both very good as the co-leads of the film, and Janet McTeer makes an impact in just a few scenes as the traumatized victim of the ghost. While I do wish that writer Jane Goldman and director James Watkins had spent more time with the closing of the story (which reorganizes some of the narrative of Susan Hill's novel of the same name), I still feel that many horror fans will appreciate The Woman in Black's "old school" approach to generating scares.

 Postscript: Hammer Films have announced they are planning a sequel to the film, set forty years later with different protagonists. I suppose it could work in a World War II setting (although it's going to provide even more tonal and visual similarities to The Others), I'm not really sure this is a story that needs to continue. What keeps the narrative moving in The Woman in Black is the mystery surrounding Eel Marsh House, and there's not a lot left to discover in re-visitation of the manor. I'd prefer Hammer continue making other films, but then again, how many Dracula sequels starring Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, or both were there?




* Okay, movie theatres. He'd been on Broadway with How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying for the better part of 2011.

Top Ten Horror Movies

You got lucky, Blogorium readers: the Cap'n was thinking of taking the night off, what with a wedding to attend tomorrow, but a social network-related message from an old co-worker prompted your fearless leader to spend far more time than should be necessary to put together a list.

His message, in its entirety, read "top ten horror films..."

So you try that. Try to do it quickly. Maybe you can, maybe you can't. Do you go for the easy answers? The best known favorites? Do you throw in something that you love but you know others aren't as familiar with? Is that why he asked the Cap'n in the first place? Am I supposed to go unorthodox?

After mulling it over, I put in the first two without hesitation. Here's the entire list (which is technically twelve movies, so sue me):


The Haunting (1963)
The Evil Dead
Let the Right One In
Re-Animator / From Beyond
The Wicker Man (1978)
Night of the Living Dead
In the Mouth of Madness
Hellbound: Hellraiser II
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
From Beyond the Grave / Tales from the Crypt



Notice I left out the entirety of the Universal "Classic Horror" films, in part because as much as I love Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Dracula, I feel like everybody's seen them at one point or another in their life. The same cannot always be said of The Evil Dead and Night of the Living Dead, which are recognized more for having popular sequels than are seen.

I left off A Nightmare on Elm Street... well, I'm not sure why. Most of you (I'd imagine all of you reading this) have seen the first Nightmare over and over again, and maybe I just wanted to branch out a little bit. Even rabid fans of Re-Animator haven't necessarily seen From Beyond, which is as good if not better. I remain an ardent supporter of John Carpenter's In the Mouth of Madness, in part because it's construction replicates the experience of reading H.P. Lovecraft in a way most direct Lovecraft adaptations don't.

As sequels go, Hellbound and The Final Chapter are on par with the original film and in many ways both more successful. From Beyond the Grave and Tales from the Crypt are two of my favorite anthology films, a sub-genre in horror that doesn't get enough love from my perspective.

Oh, and The Haunting and The Wicker Man just creep me out. Put them on late at night, in the dark, right before bed. Good luck sleeping.

One thing I'd like to point out is until the very last second Terrovision was in the "top ten" list, and then I replaced it with Let the Right One In, which is a hard - but fair - substitution. Slashers films didn't get much of a showing there, and neither did "true story" movies like Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Horror comedies went largely unrepresented, but what can you do? I had ten spots to fill and no more.

As I challenged him, so too do I challenge you to provide me with your top ten horror films. Would you include Near Dark? Return of the Living Dead? Black Christmas? Ginger Snaps? An American Werewolf in London? The Fall of the House of Usher? Suspiria? The Hills have Eyes? The Horror of Dracula? Nosferatu? The Exorcist? Martin? The Thing? Phantasm? [REC]? Cat People?

You have ten slots to fill. You can push it to twelve, but they'd better be closely linked, and no more. Good luck.

I wonder... I wah wah wah wah wonder...

Since we're nearly a week away from Horror Fest (get used to it, because I'll be talking about it a LOT until November 2nd) the Cap'n decided to test a theory. I often tell people that horror is not all I watch, am interested in, and write about. I think the blogorium in months not ending in -ctober bears that out, but as we've learned, numbers rarely lie.

I went over to my DVD Aficionado page (feel free to make fun of me for having one) and created a separate page for "Horror" as closely as it resembled my Horror Shelf, then dumped everything that fit in there.

Out of a little over 1,000 dvds/Blu-Rays, around 300 are Horror by that definition. We can look at this two ways:

1. Horror makes up 1/3 of all of the movies I own, ergo the Cap'n likes Horror the most.

2. It was a lot less than I thought it would be, and if you go to an actual disc count, it's a whole lot less than what I actually own.

However, I can't really deny the power of argument number one. As a genre, it dwarfs practically every other shelf (which are mostly broken into genre) and based on the titles, I've probably seen all of nearly all of them.

Since I don't really know where I'm going with this, I thought we could play a game instead. Take the following list of Horror movies and... uh, highlight the ones you've seen. You can post it as a comment or in your own blog like one of those memes, however you want to do it. In your own time, because this is quite a list...

28 Days Later
30 Days of Night
An American Werewolf in London
The Horror of Dracula
Dracula has Risen from His Grave
Taste the Blood of Dracula
Dracula A.D. 1972
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
The Alligator People
An American Werewolf in London
Anthropophagus: The Grim Reaper
The Antichrist
Army of Darkness
Baby Blood
Bad Taste
Basket Case
Bay of Blood
Murders in the Rue Morgue
The Black Cat (1934)
The Raven
The Invisible Ray
Black Friday
The Bird with the Crystal Plumage
Black Sheep
The Blob (1958)
The Blob (1988)
Beware! The Blob
Beyond Re-Animator
Black Sheep
Tombs of the Blind Dead
Return of the Evil Dead
The Ghost Galleon
Night of the Seagulls
Blood and Black Lace
Blood Car
Blood Feast
Two Thousand Maniacs
Color Me Blood Red
Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Bride of Re-Animator
The Brood
C.H.U.D.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
The Cabinet of Caligari (1962)
The Call of Cthulhu
Carnival of Souls
Carnivorous (aka Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent)
A Cat in the Brain
The Cat O' Nine Tails
Cat People (1982)
Cemetery Man
Cheerleader Camp
Children of the Corn
Child's Play
Chopping Mall
The Church
City of the Dead (aka Horror Hotel)
City of the Living Dead
Clownhouse
The Company of Wolves
Contamination
Count Yorga, Vampire
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Revenge of the Creature
The Creature Walks Among Us
Creepshow
Critters
Curse of the Devil
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Day of the Dead
Dead & Buried
Dead Alive
The Dead Hate the Living
The Deadly Spawn
Deathdream
Demons
Demons 2
Demons of the Mind
The Descent
The Devil's Backbone
The Devil's Rejects
Dr. Giggles
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941)
Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde
Dog Soldiers
Dracula (1931)
Dracula (Spanish Version)
Dracula's Daughter
Son of Dracula
House of Dracula
Dracula: Prince of Darkness
The Satanic Rites of Dracula
Drag Me to Hell
The Entity
The Evil Dead
Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn
The Exorcist
Exorcist II: The Heretic
The Exorcist III: Legion
Exorcist: The Beginning
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist
Faceless
Faces of Death
Fade to Black
Hell Night
The Fall of the House of Usher
Faust: Love of the Damned
Fear No Evil
The Fearless Vampire Killers
Feast
Fido
Fiend without a Face
Flesh Eaters from Outer Space
Invasion for Flesh and Blood
The Fly
Return of the Fly
Curse of the Fly
The Fog
Four Flies on Grey Velvet
The Lodger
The Undying Monster
Hangover Square
Dr. Renault's Secret
Frankenstein
Bride of Frankenstein
Son of Frankenstein
Ghost of Frankenstein
House of Frankenstein
Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell
Frankenstein Created Woman
Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires
Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed
Freaks
Freddy vs Jason
Friday the 13th (1980)
Friday the 13th Part 2
Friday the 13th Part 3
The Frighteners
From Beyond
From Beyond the Grave
From Dusk Till Dawn
Garden of the Dead
The Gate
The Ghoul
Ghoulies
Ghoulies 2
Ghoulies 4
Ginger Snaps
Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed
Ginger Snaps Back
Grindhouse Presents: Planet Terror
Halloween (1978)
Halloween (2007)
Halloween II
Halloween III
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
The Haunted World of El Superbeasto
The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll
Curse of the Mummy's Tomb
The Gorgon
Scream of Fear
Brides of Dracula
The Curse of the Werewolf
The Phantom of the Opera (1962)
Paranoiac
Kiss of the Vampire
Nightmare
Night Creatures
The Evil of Frankenstein
The Hand
The Haunting (1963)
Haxan
Hellraiser
Hellbound: Hellraiser II
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
Hillbillys in a Haunted House
The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
The Hitchter
Hostel
Hostel Part II
Interview with the Vampire
Mark of the Vampire
The Mask of Fu Manchu
Mad Love
The Devil-Doll
Doctor X
The Return of Doctor X
Horror of the Blood Monsters (aka Vampire Men of the Lost Planet)
Horror Rises from the Tomb
House
House II: The Second Story
House of Wax (1953)
Mystery of the Wax Museum
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
The House that Dripped Blood
The Howling
Human Beasts
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923)
The Hunger
I Bury the Living
In the Mouth of Madness
Incubus
The Invisible Man
The Invisible Man Returns
The Invisible Woman
The Invisible Agent
The Invisible Man's Revenge
It's Alive!
Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer
The Walking Dead
Frankenstein 1970
You'll Find Out
Zombies on Broadway
The Last House on the Left
The Last Man on Earth
Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part III
The Legend of Hell House
Let the Right One In
Don't Torture a Duckling
Maniac Cop
Martin
Martyrs
Matango
May
The Mist
The Monster Squad
The Mummy (1932)
The Mummy (1959)
The Mummy's Hand
The Mummy's Tomb
The Mummy's Ghost
The Mummy's Curse
The Mummy's Shroud
Plague of the Zombies
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
My Bloody Valentine (2009)
Near Dark
New York Ripper
Night of the Demons
Night of the Lepus
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Nightmare City
A Nightmare on Elm Street
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: The Dream Warriors
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 4: The Dream Master
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 5: The Dream Child
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
Wes Craven's New Nightmare
The Ninth Gate
Nosferatu (1922)
Nosferatu: The Vampyre (1979)
The Oblong Box
Scream and Scream Again
The Old Dark House (1932)
The Omen
The Orphanage
The People Under the Stairs
Phantasm
Phantasm II
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead
Phantasm IV: Oblivion
Plague Town
Prince of Darkness
Prom Night (1980)
The Prowler
Pumpkinhead
Re-Animator
[REC]
Repulsion
Return of Swamp Thing
Return of the Killer Tomatoes
Return to Horror High
Return of the Living Dead
Return of the Living Dead Part 2
Return of the Vampire
Rogue
The Gian Claw
Creature with the Atom Brain
Zombies of Mora Tau
The Werewolf
Scanners
Scars of Dracula
Scream, Blacula, Scream
Seed of Chucky
Session 9
Seven Deaths in the Cat's Eye
Shadow of the Vampire
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
Shaun of the Dead
She Demons
The Shining
Shocker
Silent Night, Deadly Night
Slaughter High
Slaughter of the Vampires
Sleepaway Camp
Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers
Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland
Sleepy Hollow
Slither
Splatter University
StageFright
The Stepfather
Stepfather 2: Make Room for Daddy
Strangler of the Swamp
Student Bodies
The Stuff
Suspiria
Tales from the Crypt
Vault of Horror
Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight
Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1973)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2
Them!
The Thing (1982)
The Tingler
To the Devil, a Daughter
Trick 'r Treat
Troll
Troll 2
Two Evil Eyes
Uncle Sam
Undead
Revolt of the Zombies
Hard Rock Zombies
The Black Cat (1941)
Man Made Monster
Horror Island
Night Monster
Captive Wild Woman
Urban Legends: Final Cut
Cat People
Curse of the Cat People
I Walked with a Zombie
Body Snatcher
Isle of the Dead
Bedlam
The Leopard Man
The Ghost Ship
The 7th Victim
Vampire Hunter D
Vampyr (1932)
Village of the Damned
Children of the Damned
Tales of Terror
Twice Told Tales
The Abominable Dr. Phibes
Dr. Phibes Rises Again!
Theater of Blood
Madhouse
Witchfinder General
The Virgin of Nuremberg
Waxwork
Waxwork 2: Lost in Time
Werewolf Shadow (aka The Werewolf vs the Vampire Woman)
Willard (2003)
The Wizard of Gore (1968)
The Wolf Man
Werewolf of London
She-Wolf of London
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man
Wrong Turn
Zombie
Zombi 2
Zombi 3
Zombi 4
Zombie Holocaust
Zombie Strippers

Summer Fest Day Three: The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires

Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (or Seven Brothers Meet Dracula) is exactly what you'd expect from a Shaw Brothers / Hammer Horror co-production. There's a lot of kung fu chop sockey with Hammer gore and a smattering of gratuitous nudity.

The movie itself is concerned with Dracula stealing the identity of a Chinese wizard in order to control the 6 Golden Vampires (one of them is dead by the time he gets there). Most of the time he just hangs out while the golden vampires torture topless Chinese women and drain their blood into a boiling jacuzzi pool. Meanwhile, seven brothers and their sister enlist Van Helsing (Peter Cushing), his son and a Scandinavian Princess to help them find this village and kill the other six Golden Vampires, which they do.

With that synopsis, it shouldn't be hard to figure out what happens, and the kung fu and gore is pretty good. The golden vampires look cool and so do their armies of zombie vampires, who can also kung fu fight. That only makes sense. The final fight with Dracula is, well, underwhelming, but Cushing does what he can to not make it totally lame.

One more night of Summer Fest to go, but first your Cap'n needs some sleep!

Official Summer Fest Announcement! (repost)

editors note: I'm reposting this in case anyone missed it earlier this week. I'll also put this up again on Monday.

Ladies and Germs, your Cap'n is pleased to announce that from July 2nd - 5th:

THE GREENSBORO SUMMER FEST MASSACRE PART 2

will commence. From dusk til dawn, every night non-stop horror and horror/comedy, including

and many more!

Featuring Classic Episodes from:

Special 3-D Showings of:

and


This Year's Summer Fest Field Trip Selection:

Plus Special Surprise:

In Glorious High Definition!

Summer Fest begins Thursday, July 2nd, at 9pm for a special field trip screening of Drag Me to Hell at the Carousel Cinemas. After the film, we will continue watching films as long as you can stay awake at the Apartment of Solitude on Cedar Street. Each successive night will begin at 6pm and go until we pass out.

BYOB. Snacks will be provided, and the horror's on the Cap'n.

Contact the Cap'n for details, directions, or special requests.



* thanks to the awesome Troll cover from the Criterion Forums.

Official Summer Fest Announcement!

Ladies and Germs, your Cap'n is pleased to announce that from July 2nd - 5th:

THE GREENSBORO SUMMER FEST MASSACRE PART 2

will commence. From dusk til dawn, every night non-stop horror and horror/comedy, including

and many more!

Featuring Classic Episodes from:

Special 3-D Showings of:

and


This Year's Summer Fest Field Trip Selection:

Plus Special Surprise:

In Glorious High Definition!

Summer Fest begins Thursday, July 2nd, at 9pm for a special field trip screening of Drag Me to Hell at the Carousel Cinemas. After the film, we will continue watching films as long as you can stay awake at the Apartment of Solitude on Cedar Street. Each successive night will begin at 6pm and go until we pass out.

BYOB. Snacks will be provided, and the horror's on the Cap'n.

Contact the Cap'n for details, directions, or special requests.



* thanks to the awesome Troll cover from the Criterion Forums.

Nooooooooooooooo!

Today's blogorium entry is brought to you by the best spam subject line yet:

For some reason, this reminds me of Cranpire.

Getting back to my cries of "Nooooooooooooooo!", the remake train has gone way off the tracks, as now some company called Spitfire Pictures is remaking Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires. If this sounds vaguely familiar, that's because it's going to be playing during Summerfest in July.

It's not simply that this is such a random film to remake, or even that there isn't some kind of market for kung-fu / horror mashups; my concern is that Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires was a product of a unique pairing of studios, Hammer and Shaw Brothers. At the time, both were tops in their respective genres and Vampires, while goofy, is exactly what you'd expect from a Shaw / Hammer co-production: chop sockey and Peter Cushing.



The film even features the following quote: "In Europe, the vampire fears the cross. Here, it will be the image of the Lord Buddha."

Or something like that. Strangely, I can't find the quote online, but I have an audio file of it somewhere. Sure, Christopher Lee doesn't play Dracula, but otherwise it's gangbusters. Or cheese-tacular. I don't see a good future for this remake, to be honest with you.

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You are all free to leave early today.

I think I teased the lineup for The Greensboro Summer Fest Massacre Part 2 last night and then forgot to follow up on it. There are two reasons stemming from last night's piece as to why:

1. I like to keep things in flux until I really lock down some movies.

2. Partially, I'm really hoping somebody knocks my socks off with a VHS surprise.

Since I haven't actually finalized anything that would last the whole weekend, I thought I'd share some ideas I've been tossing around with others. I'll address the pros and cons of the films below.

Chopping Mall - partying teens break into a mall overnight and run afoul of the Killbots patrolling the premises.

The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman - I can't tell you any more than this trailer can.


Dog Soldiers - Neil Marshall's (The Descent) debut film balances a fine line between horror and laughs when a military exercise turns up werewolves.

The Prowler - The slasher movie Tom Savini (Dawn of the Dead, Friday the 13th, Creepshow) is most proud of. It involves a killer with a pitchfork.

Friday the 13th Part 3 (in 3-D) - Featuring a whole host of bad 3-D effects, including laundry pole, joint passing, and spear-gun attack. Also the film where Jason gets his hockey mask.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D - I haven't watched it yet but the word is the film is a hoot for large groups and must be seen in 3-D.

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus - Cranpire says it's fest worthy, so it has a spot in the lineup.

Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires - Hammer Horror meets Shaw Brothers Chop Sockey when Dracula heads East and Van Helsing enlists the help of kung fu warriors to stop him.

Dracula A.D. 1972 - exactly what it sounds like. May play as a double feature with Blacula.

Alien Apocalypse - Bruce Campbell vs Giant Termites in the future. This Sci-Fi Channel original is even cheesier than it sounds.

Night of the Comet - Space Zombies vs Valley Girls. Need I say more?

Zombie Lake - Cranpire recommended this. I think it's about dead Nazis but is not Dead Snow.

Uncle Sam - Evil Uncle Sam. Nuff said.

The first and major problem that I have is that a lot of these movies aren't horror comedies, which is what Summer Fest is all about. I don't mind scaring the good attendees too, but the July marathon is all about bringing in folks who might not normally sit in for two nights of horror movies. I like to open things up a bit and soften scaredy cats so they might come back for the really creepy stuff in October.

The other problem is that three movies I really want to show - Night of the Creeps, Terrorvision, and House of Long Shadows - aren't readily available. I'm also tempted to bring out old favorites like Slither and Night of the Lepus for repeat performances but want to leave open the possibility of discoveries. After all, that's how we found Teeth and Blood Car during fests past. Or Cranpire could bring something like Dead Heat and surprise us all again!

The final problem is how to figure in certain tv programs that became staples of Summer and Horror Fest: The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror, Invader Zim, a certain Paul Lynde Halloween Special, and newbie Tales from the Darkside. And, of course, Dr. Re-Animator!

Also, dare I add Redneck Zombies? Can our stomachs handle it???

---

Voting ends tomorrow at 3 something or other pm, and what I'm seeing so far is a four way tie. I'm back working nights now, folks, so somebody break that tie! I'd love to watch four movies between tonight and Sunday, but it's not going to happen.

Blogorium Quick Hits: Stuck and Brides of Dracula

Stuart Gordon's Stuck has one thing going for it, and that's the gore. Otherwise, the movie is riddled with idiotic characters doing things that conveniently serve the story but don't make sense. It was, at times, like watching an episode of Heroes. Stuck isn't a very long movie, either, so this was a serious problem.

The movie uses the "Based on True Events" conceit to excuse lapses in logic and decisions made that consistently insult common sense. Stuck is "based" on the story of a Texas woman who ran into a homeless man. Instead of taking him to the hospital, she left him stuck in her car until he bled to death three days later in her garage. That is, admittedly, fucked up.

However, I sincerely doubt she brought her drug dealer friend over to try to kill the man trapped in her car or that more than one of her neighbors had the chance to save the guy but instead decide that they shouldn't for no reason. I also seriously doubt that said drug dealer was killed by the victim in the car with a pen and then he used the car to pin her to the garage wall and burn it down. Oh, that's AFTER he got away, she knocked him out with a hammer, and dragged him back into the garage.

Decisions like the ones above are far from the most egregious parts of Stuck, but they demonstrate just how preposterous the writer thought he could make things if it was "based on a true story". People routinely act ways that are oppositional to their best interests and no one, including the victim, seem to behave in a way that's less than moronic. I get that it should be reflecting the reality that didn't make sense, but Stuck pushes it too far. You'll find yourself saying "really?" too many times in this movie.

As I said, the gore was excellent. Stuart Gordon, likely best known for Re-Animator and From Beyond, knows his way around effective prosthetics work, and the myriad of injuries to Tom Bardo (Stephen Rea) are impressive, if cringe inducing. The aformentioned "pen" kill is also well done, and if you want to count it as an effect, Mena Suvari's cornrows are a feat unto themselves.

Nevertheless, this is not something worth spending your time on, even if you're a fan of Stuart Gordon.

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Brides of Dracula was a mostly predictable, if fun, Hammer vampire film until the very end when it hit two very clever plot turns I didn't see coming at all. One involved the location the climax takes place in (a variation on the Frankenstein film but done in a very different way) and another solution to Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) being bitten that was borrowed much later by John Carpenter in his film Vampires. For those alone, Brides of Dracula is worth checking out, Christopher Lee or no Christopher Lee.