Cap'n Howdy: Hey, do you guys remember when we went to see Dungeons & Dragons?
Professor Murder: Yeah, of course I do.
Cranpire: Nope.
Professor Murder: What do you mean "Nope"? How do you not remember an evening from eleven years ago?
Cranpire: All I remember is that I didn't like the movie.
Cap'n Howdy: None of us liked the movie; in fact, I bet I remember only a little more about the movie than you do.
Cranpire: Probably.
Professor Murder: Don't look at me. I have no idea.
Cap'n Howdy: Well, anyway, then there's his sidekick -
Professor Murder: The dude with blue lip gloss.
Cap'n Howdy: Exactly. The bald guy that was in Highlander: Endgame: Bruce Payne.
Cranpire: Oh, he was on Keen Eddie.
Professor Murder: Keen Eddie? Did you watch that show?
Cranpire: Yeah, I like to watch shows that were canceled early.
Cap'n Howdy: You remember that, but not Dungeons & Dragons?
Cranpire: Well, I make a point of following obscure supporting actors.
Cap'n Howdy: Anyway, so the movie also had that guy who looks like Wil Wheaton, but isn't -
Cranpire: Justin Whalin, from Child's Play 3 and Serial Mom.
Professor Murder: Wait, Andy from Child's Play 3? Impressive, Cranpire.
Cranpire: Thanks.
Cap'n Howdy: As I was saying, he goes on some quest with his friend (?), Marlon Wayans. They're thieves and Jeremy Irons is trying to raise a dragon or something and Thora Birch is in the film, and so is Richard O'Brien.
Professor Murder: Who, if I remember correctly, was one of your selling points.
Cap'n Howdy: Yes, he was. If I was more of a Doctor Who fan in 2000, I might have pointed out that Tom Baker was in the movie.
Cranpire: Huh.
Professor Murder: Yeah, that's really more than I remembered about that movie. What was more fun was how we got Cranpire to see it with us.
Cap'n Howdy: That's why I wanted to have a review of the film in the first place. The story behind the movie is more interesting to me.
Cranpire: I have no idea what you're talking about. Seriously.
Cap'n Howdy: Do you not remember that you were working at the Rathskeller*, and we came by to talk you into seeing Dungeons & Dragons with us?
Cranpire: Nope
Professor Murder: You were cleaning up and we talked your manager into letting you off an hour early to come along. We paid for your missed hour, your ticket, and snacks - we bought you!
Cranpire: Drawing a blank.
Cap'n Howdy: I think that Professor Murder even drove us from your work to the theatre and then brought you back to the Rathskeller to pick up your car, and even though we laughed through the whole movie, you complained about how we "ripped you off" by dragging you to Dungeons & Dragons.
Cranpire: That makes sense, but I don't remember that at all. I remember not liking the movie, and I saw the sequel at the video store.
Professor Murder: Wait... you hated the first one but watched the sequel? Did you?
Cap'n Howdy: No, I've never seen it. I don't even know what it's called.
Cranpire: Yeah you do, I called in to the radio show you did to tell you it was Wrath of the Dragon God. It wasn't any better.
Cap'n Howdy: It amazes me what you can and can't remember.
Cranpire: I don't really remember seeing Dude, Where's My Car? with you. And I didn't fall asleep for all of The Man Who Wasn't There, for the record.
Professor Murder: But you did sleep through part of it.
Cap'n Howdy: Anyway, whether that jogged your memory or not, that happened. It was funny to me, and it's also kinda funny you don't remember that at all.
Professor Murder: Good times.
Cranpire: Well, if you guys are all done, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette and finish watching River of Darkness. It has Kurt Angle vs. zombie Kevin Nash.
* I feel no concern about mentioning this because the Rathskeller no longer exists and it's very unlikely anyone would figure out what employee is being mentioned here.
1 comment:
I missed the part about this being an imaginary conversation at first and got really confused. There is no way that I would of known a guy from Child's Play 3.
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