Saturday, November 15, 2008

No Offense to The Carolina Theatre...

...but when you send me an email that starts "CASABLANCA AND TWISTER - with a special gift!", I'm really hoping the "special gift" is not showing Twister. Other than "they were available", I can't even begin to guess why they're showing one after the other. The Cap'n has some love in him for Casablanca, to be sure, but there's no room in his shriveled black heart for 1997's Bill Paxton / Helen Hunt disasterpiece.

It could just be me, but I'm betting not. A show of hands: how many of you saw Twister when it came out? Okay, how many of you ever saw it again? TV counts, yes. How many of you ever saw Twister, even in passing on television?

That's kind of what I thought. I welcome any defenders of the movie to light up my comments, but the Cap'n sincerely doubts he'll be seeing any. If I were to ask how many of you had seen Casablanca, I guess the numbers might be similar, but I'm going to hold on to my belief, thanks.

Speaking of which, there's nothing "low art" about Twister, if you were thinking of going that route. That's a movie with (at the time) big stars and a pretty big freaking budget directed by the guy who made Speed (also a big hit) for a major studio designed to cash in on the success of movies like Independence Day and that (forthcoming) Armageddon.

Twister with Bruce Campbell is low art, and I urge you to rent it to see exactly how "low" it can go.

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I have to say that I'm pretty keen on watching Wall*E some time next week. Doctor Who is a big priority but I feel like I should finish Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures first as they both tie into series four.

Tropic Thunder is also of interest, as no one who's seen it seemed to dislike it. Most of them loved it, and I really appreciated the way that Rain of Madness the Hearts of Darkness to Tropic Thunder's Apocalypse Now claims that Jack Black's character got his start on Heat Vision and Jack. Even better: in the "universe" of Tropic Thunder, Heat Vision and Jack was a huge hit and not just a failed pilot you can find on YouTube*.

Needless to say that I'll be agonizing between watching these films and doing homework, and homework will probably win. Or sleep will lose. (Stupid sleep)

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I'm glad not to be 14 or a girl. Otherwise I'd be spending all of my money on seeing Twilight 11 or 12 times in two weeks. As it is, I won't see Twilight once, and yet this is somehow not heartbreaking or ________ (insert current hip phrase used by 14 year olds).





* I linked to it once a long time ago, so you can do the work yourselves this time. I promise it's worth it.

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