Greetings, all. The Cap'n is checking in briefly from the madness of this evening (which has thus far included Beavis and Butt-Head, Trapped in the Closet, and Real Talk) to give you a quick - really quick - review of Purple Rain before Saturday Night Live starts.
The Cap'n had never seen Purple Rain before, but I have listened to the album, and Adam gave me a "greatest hits" clip session prior to this point. It turns out that there's not much story to get in the way of the album (sorry, I'm borrowing that directly from Adam, who is bound to read this down the line), but I'll try to sum it up:
The Kid (Prince) and Morris Day (Morris Day) are competing musicians at a club in... Minnesota. Let's assume it's Minneapolis. They don't get along, but one day a new singer / dancer / muse named Apollonia (Apollonia) walks into the club and is immediately taken with both of them.
The Kid is a jerk, steals her jewelry, slaps her around, and takes her to the basement of his parents' house (kinda like the Cap'n, except that instead of movie posters, The Kid has paintings of himself and masks and crap). Morris Day is just a pimp, but he does actually get Apollonia a gig of her own and some boustier-type outfit, which is more than The Kid ever does. The Kid spends most of his time brooding on his motorcycle and crying that his father (a failed jazz musician) is always beating up his mother.
If there's such a thing as good that can come out of this level of domestic and emotional abuse, it's that The Kid comes up with songs that sound suspiciously like Prince songs from the album Purple Rain. And if you've seen Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (and the people who read this blog have seen it, admit it), then you've seen the Morris Day and the Time songs and performances in their entirety. The only thing you're getting you haven't seen is Apollonia's song "Sex Shooter", which is a gun metaphor. Kinda like Kiss' "Love Gun".
Anyway, so even if you don't think you like Prince (which would make you a liar, even in your head), you should check out Purple Rain. It's a fun movie about attempted suicide, semi-prostitution disguised as "rehearsals", gratutity, lake trickery, and prat falls into garbage. I recommend it thoroughly, and it's not like when I told you to watch The Happening (bet you forgot it's been a year, didn't you?) and was lying; this time I was only a little drunk.
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