Saturday, March 13, 2010

(Far from) The Last Time I'll Mention The Happening This Year

So, did you figure out which review of The Happening was the real deal? Oh sure, one apologizes for the other, but do you really put trickery past the Cap'n at this point in time? Maybe I want you to think that I hate the movie so that you'll avoid seeing something that would fascinate and tickle your movie-going senses.

Or it could be one of the worst movies since Plan 9 from Outer Space, a film so awkward and ill-conceived that one stares, jaw agape, for ninety minutes as careers slowly come to an end. That could be it.

I will say that since I saw The Happening for the second time (I've seen it at least four times, if you're wondering), I have talked to at least one person who said it was better than Lady in the Water and The Village and spoken to at least other person that honestly liked it. For their sakes, I'm not going to name names, but that is true.

A handful of regular Blogorium readers have sworn that if they ever see the title screen for The Happening reflected into their eyebrains, they will loudly and assertively exit the Apartment That Dripped Blood, never to return. This reflects more on their sourpuss attitudes than the quality (or lack thereof) of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening.

By now, I should hope that readers know my taste in films enough to be able to suss out where I sit on Night's epic tale of nature gone amok, which admittedly has some of the worst line delivery I've ever been privy to. Actually, some of the worst acting, period. I don't feel that I'm being untoward when comparing it to Plan 9 from Outer Space, which had similar aspirations of being taken seriously and failed miserably, landing laughably off course.

Plan 9 from Outer Space was, after all, the first thing I programmed after The Happening at the Summer Fest it premiered at, and attendees immediately noticed the similarities. The following October, I snuck The Happening in as a surprise between The Paul Lynde Halloween Special and the remake of The Wicker Man, if that gives you some idea where it falls in a Horror Fest.

And yet, despite how awful I'm making it out to sound, one cannot help but watch the disaster unfold before your very eyes. Try as they might to leave while watching, everybody stayed BOTH times for The Happening. It's a testament to how compelling garbage can be when all of the pieces fall into place. Admittedly, the picture they form is a ghastly parody of its intended shape, but one akin to a clown car crashing head-on into a truck of creme pies; hilarious, tragic, but somehow appropriate in its stupidity.

So yes, Virginia, both reviews have a kernel of truth to them. I did not simply play a nasty prank on my friends the day after watching The Happening. I told them a half-truth, one that needed proper context to be clear, which they received the next day. In all honesty, The Happening is a terrible, embarrassing movie to sit through and talk about, but I wouldn't trade it for a dozen less crappy movies. Secretly, I think many of my friends feel the same way, even if they pretend to prefer Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, which commits the cardinal sin of being bad AND boring.

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