Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Quick Review, or Snap Judgment?: Freddy's Nightmares

Maybe DVR'ing eight hours of Freddy's Nightmares wasn't such a great idea.

Oh, who am I kidding? It was the best idea I had since buying Walking Tall and The Marine!

Before you jump all over me with you "like, duh!"'s for taping multiple episodes of a tv series so forgotten that Cranpire didn't know it existed, let me plead my case:

1. I am always looking for something new to show in between movies at Horror Fest (more on that subject later this week).

2. As many of you know, remake aside, I will make time to watch anything Freddy-related I haven't seen, even if it is as bad as Freddy's Nightmares.

3. It may be the last time Chiller airs the show this month, or even this year. I had to get what I could when I could.

Now, on the other hand, when I got back today and watched the first episode, I knew immediately that a) this show sucks big time, and b) I love it.

The first episode starts with a faux-newscast featuring Bob Goen of Entertainment Tonight and just about every Kennel Club Dog Show on Animal Planet, before Freddy interrupts and takes over the tv. Then Freddy has some trouble cutting through a piece of paper and announces "don't worry, this isn't your nightmare. it's one of mine", and we launch into the friggin' prequel to A Nightmare on Elm Street!

You see Fred Krueger on trial, the botched police work, them letting him out, and the vigilante justice that ensues. And I figured by the time they set him on fire that we had set up the series with the Freddy origin story for no reason. See, Freddy's Nightmares is an anthology show that the gloved one very rarely has anything to do with. However, the show had some surprises for me, not the least of which was the fact it's an hour-long show. Uh oh.

Actually, the fun comes from the fact that this way-to-long first episode is soaked in 80s cheese. The budget clearly didn't go into hiring actors or quality sets, but the fire gag was pretty impressive and the two nightmares you see Freddy orchestrate are pretty cool.

Okay, cheap, but cool. The dentist one at least has some implied gore and a nifty "drill" variation on the glove. I don't know what time this aired or on what network, but there's some reasonably violent content, a nurse stripping down to her underwear, and generally speaking a sleazy vibe to the show. I checked four or five different websites and not one of them has the station this show aired on other than Chiller. Weird.

By the way, the first episode was directed by Tobe "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" Hooper and does feature Robert Englund in most of the episode, sans makeup, although they only show him from behind until he's char-grilled Freddy.

Still, I'm amazed this show went two whole seasons. Wait, Two-and-a-Half Men is still on the air, right? Never mind. Freddy's Nightmares is at least entertaining while not being good.

The Moral of the story is that just because the show probably isn't any good or that Warner Brothers is never planning to release it on dvd doesn't mean that it won't be playing during Horror Fest. Then again, if you hadn't figured that out by now, I can only assume you've never been to a Horror Fest.

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