Retro Five Movies: Did I See That?

 Every now and then, a movie will hover by, causing me to think "wait a minute - I saw that!" I had forgotten that I saw the film, and will in all likelihood forget about it shortly thereafter. It happened all the time when I worked as a projectionist, when I had the opportunity to see (and promptly forget) The In Crowd, The Replacements, The Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps, or... see, this is when I draw a blank. Until recently I'd simply forgotten about Spy Kids 3D, a movie I saw and enjoyed.

 Today we'll take a look back at movies I not only saw, but owned on DVD and did not commit to memory. Some are good, some bad, but all of them vanished into the haze of my memory over the last decade.


  1. 3000 Miles to Graceland - There was this movie, way back in the early aughts, about a gang of criminals who decide to rob a casino during an Elvis convention in Las Vegas. You may have heard of it, or like me even seen it; 3000 Miles to Graceland stars Kurt Russell (Escape from New York), Kevin Costner (The Postman), Christian Slater (Pump Up the Volume), Kevin Pollak (The Usual Suspects), and Courtney Cox (Scream). Also, Jon Lovitz, Howie Long, Ice-T, Thomas Haden Church, and Bokeem Woodbine.

 What Does the Cap'n Remember: Well, I think there was a suggestion that Kurt Russell's character might be Elvis' illegitimate son. I think that was a subplot.

 2. Blow - I forgot about Blow for a reason: I didn't like the movie. Over the years, I'd see the cover and simply tune it out. The existence of Blow became white noise to me, and the film itself disappeared for the Cap'n. I watched the film because I liked Johnny Depp. I liked Ted Demme. I liked Penelope Cruz, Paul Reubens, Ray Liotta, and even Ethan Suplee (then of Mallrats and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). I did not like Blow - it's a wholly unlikable "true story" that apes the structure of Scarface without the bite or compelling characters. People yell at Depp's George Jung and he just takes it. Wow, what an enticing film to watch for two hours. It's no wonder I struggle to recall seeing it.

 What Does the Cap'n Remember: Penelope Cruz being grating to the point that you wonder why anyone would stay with her. That's it.

 3. One Night at McCool's - Funny thing about One Night at McCool's; I remember really liking the film when I saw it. I may have seen it twice, and certainly told friends about the film. Ten years later? I can't conjure up ANYTHING about the movie. I think it has overlapping flashbacks, or at least some twists and turns. It was funny, and I know that John Goodman, Matt Dillon, Liv Tyler, Paul Reiser, and Michael Douglas are in it. Beyond that? I guess I should watch it again, because I couldn't even tell you what the film is about.

 What Does the Cap'n Remember: ...

 4. 15 Minutes - Edward Burns and Robert DeNiro are cops (?) trailing two Russian / Eastern European bad guys who commit crimes and then film them to be famous. One of them is Oleg Taktarov (Predators). I had this on DVD, watched it once, and it wasn't very memorable. So much so that I'm about to share the only thing I think I took away from it.

 What Does the Cap'n Remember: The bad guys kidnap DeNiro and torture him while filming. What happens after that? Beats me. I'm not positive that part happened anymore.

 5. The Avengers - You'd think I'd remember a movie as stupid as The Avengers. Sean Connery wears a bear suit at one point! In fact, we laughed a lot in the theatre and spoke about it for months after, and then I just sort of lost track of it. To this day I know I did see it, and moments pop out, but it sometimes catches me by surprise that a) the film exists and b) I watched it less than 15 years ago.

 What Does the Cap'n Remember: Well, the bear suit sticks out. The evil plan involved weather, right? And there was Good Uma Thurman and Bad Uma Thurman. Pretty much all there is here.


Honorable Mention to The Libertine, The House of Mirth, Keeping the Faith, Bridget Jones's Diary, The Last Castle, The Mexican, Saved!, Shanghai Noon, Sugar and Spice, The Matador, The Tailor of Panama, The Cider House Rules, Timecode, The Way of the Gun, Red Planet, Valentine, Down from the Mountain, Phish: Bittersweet Motel, Detroit Rock City, Finding Forrester, and Life as a House. I guess I did see you after all...