One of the things I've noticed about having HD-DVR is that you're suddenly inclined to record things you might not otherwise. It makes perfect sense to record David Cronenberg's Shivers since the dvd is very difficult to get ahold of. Hell, I could make an argument that recording eight hours of Freddy's Nightmares could come in handy in October. But then there are the "why not?" choices; the movies cluttering your List hoping you'll remember why you DVR'd them.
For example, tonight I watched one movie I taped on a whim and pieces of two others. One is just about the last movie I'd expect to see in High Definition, and the other was something I needed to be sure I wasn't ever going to finish watching. In short order, those three movies:
So you might think about it: Hot Rod
I both regret and am glad I didn't see Hot Rod when it came out. I'm glad because at the time I was getting a little tired of the suddenly popular "Digital Shorts" on SNL, something I erroneously blamed on Andy Samberg. Over the last two years, I've gotten over that disdain and come to really enjoy The Lonely Island for their particularly bent sense of humor.
The regret comes from the fact that Hot Rod came out two years too early, and nobody really seemed to get it. The movie is a little ahead of the curve in terms of where The Lonely Island were then versus where they are now. I think if you enjoy Laser Cats, then Hot Rod is right up your alley.
Hot Rod is the story of Rod Kimble, a would-be stuntman living with Frank (Ian McShane), his step-father and tormentor. When Frank suffers a heart attack, Rod decides to raise enough money to give him a heart transplant... so that Rod can "beat the shit" out of Frank.
I suppose you could say that Hot Rod is the Lonely Island's Baseketball, only funnier and considerably weirder. Rod keeps calling upon his "spirit animals" before stunts, which usually involves very badly inserted nature footage. There might also be the longest "rolling down a hill" joke I've ever seen.
For all the cliches and cliche mocking you'd expect from this kind of movie, there are small but amusing digressions made by writer Pam Brady (South Park) and director Akiva Schaffer (The Lonely Island). Samberg stars, but Jorma Taccone (the one not on a boat or the other guy who jizzed in his pants) Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Chris Parnell, Isla Fisher and Will Arnett have just as much credit to take for Hot Rod working.
Oh, and Ian McShane as the relentlessly bullying Frank, a character who at his weakest continues to call Rod a pussy. And yes, they have their throwdown. It's epic, and I wouldn't dream of spoiling it. It's almost as good as the answer to "who would win in a fight: a grilled cheese sandwich or a taco?"
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So you're as confused as I was: Lord of Illusions in High Definition
I often joke about cheesy action movies inexplicably making their way to Blu Ray, but I was genuinely shocked to see Lord of Illusions playing on HBO HD. I can think of literally* a hundred movies I would expect to see get the High Definition bump before Lord of Illusions did, including Hellraiser II.
That being said, I recorded it, so I checked it out. Turns out that it looks pretty good for a movie nearing its fifteenth anniversary. There was a better sense of clarity in the cult compound at the beginning, and the gore holds up pretty well considering. I know many of you hate Lord of Illusions, and I can understand why; it's not a great movie, and the film is by and large the reason Clive Barker doesn't direct any more, but I enjoy it in a C-Movie kind of way. It's not good, but I can enjoy it.
Still, I've seen some random movies get cleaned up (ahem, The Postman), but why MGM/Fox decided Lord of Illusions merited the buffering is beyond me.
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So you won't have to: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - The Beginning
I'm ashamed I wasted the fifteen minutes or whatever it was I spent on it. TCM: TB is the Shit Coffin of Massacre films, and I'm including Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III and Next Generation in that. It's that bad, with the same level of wasted "revelations."
Perhaps there could be a good "origin" story for the Texas cannibal family, but this ain't it. In short order, they quickly explain that a) Leatherface just finds the chainsaw (ala Jason just finding his hockey mask) and the reason that R. Lee Ermey is the Sheriff is just because he killed the actual Sheriff.
Now maybe it's just me, but I think it would be more interesting if that sick bastard actually ran for Sheriff and won, rather than just assuming the identity of the guy he blows away with a shotgun. It seems pretty clear that everyone in that "town" is his kin anyway, so it's not like he couldn't have run for Sheriff when the actual law leaves (see, the slaughterhouse goes out of business and the town dies) and handily won. That, to me, would be at least a more compelling reason than "he just kinda stumbles onto it."
I didn't give two shits about the whole "brothers going to Vietnam" hero subplot, or the Jordana Brewster / whoever the other girl is romantic interest, because if this is a prequel to the Massacre, none of them are going to live to tell anybody. They can't, or the remake doesn't happen. Shit, that's the prevailing logic that causes the family to movie to the Amusement Park in the actual TCM Part 2. As soon as you meet them they're dead meat, so why get invested in their pointless story? It's not like Platinum Dunes is working very hard to keep you watching anyway. Ugh.
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Speaking of "what the hell", I'm DVR-ing Maniac Cop 2 and Badge of Silence: Maniac Cop 3 in not-high definition (what a shocker there). Maniac Cop 2 I can kind-of justify since it still has Bruce Campbell in the movie, but 3 there's no justification. Call it completist logic, I guess.
* I'm not misusing the word, and to prove it, tomorrow I'll name at least one hundred movies I thought would be in High Definition before Lord of Illusions.
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