Shocktober Revisited: Documentaries - UnConventional

I've decided that it's best to keep this review short; otherwise, I'm going to feel like the Cap'n is kicking a dog when it's down. See, UnConventional may be the most unflattering document of any event I've seen on DVD.

Somewhere on the cover artwork, there's a statement along the lines of "Like Trekkies for Horror Fans", which I guess is technically true if you watched Trekkies the same way I did: as a collection of increasingly goofy people that make that one super-dork you know look cool by comparison. Which is what that movie is. Trekkies is a freak show disguised as a documentary about fandom, as is Ringers: The Lord of the Fans or whatever its called. You watch because you can't help but guffaw at these poor people, but you feel awful afterwards.

UnConventional is like that, but not entirely because of the subject matter. The film attempts to be about the 13th Annual Chiller Theater Convention in East Brunswick, New Jersey. Chiller Theater is, if you've read my review of American Scary, hosted by Zacherely the Cool Ghoul, one (if not) the first Horror Hosts on television.



While Zacherely appears in UnConventional periodically, the documentary focuses primarily on one person you've heard of, one you might kinda recognize the name of, and somebody the Cap'n had to look up to figure out what she'd been in. They are (in order): Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen, 42nd Street Pete, and Tiffany Shepis.

This is not to say that there weren't many more recognizable names at the Chiller Theater Convention. Appearing briefly on camera are Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Linda Blair, David Carradine, Kane Hodder, Michael Jai White, Linda Blair, Cybill Danning, and Tom Savini. If you take the credits' word for it, apparently Bruce Campbell, Clint Howard, and Elvira, among others who don't appear on camera for one reason or the other.

Instead, we spend the lion's share of our time with Tiffany Shepis, who I had to look up on IMDB, and found was in Abominable and a number of Troma movies, plus LOTS of movies I've never heard of. Considering how much narration by 42nd Street Pete (who also appears in the film and, as far as I can tell, is responsible for this) and fan interaction revolves around how hot Shepis is, I'm gathering she's the sex appeal for the documentary. Mostly she drinks, complains about fans, and later in the film appears in various states of undress.

This all seems somehow tame compared to the lesser billed "star", Bob Gonzo. The producer, writer, director, and pimp employer of "Gonzo's Gorgeous Girls", Gonzo makes movies that would barely classify as "horror." Think of Fred Olen Ray crossed with the film Snuff and you have some idea. Bob Gonzo has a table at the convention to sell his sexploitation films (of which he's also the star) and to let attendees oogle his girls, who also show up. Sleazy doesn't begin to cover it.

Only Gunnar Hansen comes off looking good, mostly because he's such a genuinely likable guy in UnConventional. He's not really that attached to being Leatherface, but appreciates the fans and stays for the three day convention in order to make them happy. He doesn't get involved in the drunken parties that make up the Chiller Theater after-hours portion(s) of the doc, and is happy to sit down and talk about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and horror fandom during the movie.

In fact, I gather that the Chiller Theater Convention is actually a reasonably cool place to be. I don't know, because UnConventional is a documentary which seems to point the camera in all the least interesting directions - like 42nd Street Pete pretending to vomit in a trash can or the world's lamest Horror Auction - for 90 minutes.

It also doesn't help that the documentary feels so low rent. At times it feels more like a collection of home movies than an actual film, and none of it seems all that intriguing to people not directly involved in the convention. The Cap'n will admit that he turned UnConventional off a few times out of boredom, particularly when they seem to run out of things to do and send Shepis down to the laundry room of the hotel in a skimpy dress.

See? This is just getting mean. I don't know any of the people involved in UnConventional, and I don't have any reason to believe they'd ever read a review of their documentary from 2004, but I feel bad beating up on them. They were doing the best they could, and I guess they thought all of this footage was pretty cool. The problem is that it makes them look silly, the fans look idiotic, and the convention look cheap and uninteresting. All of that may not be the case, but UnConventional doesn't leave me with any other verdict.

Geek Tuesday... for some reason.

 New release Tuesdays are usually a grab bag of fun new titles, back catalog releases / upgrades, and every now and then a out-of-left-field cult curveball. For a film geek, it's fun to scour "new release" lists to see what's coming out, so I can only imagine heads were exploding (Scanners style) this past Tuesday. Three extremely "geek friendly" DVDs / Blu-Rays dropped, each of which had a mixed reaction and not amazing box office numbers along for the ride. I've seen two of them, but not the other one (yet): Paul, Your Highness, and Super.


 If you haven't been following the Blogorium for long (and the Cap'n welcomes new arrivals), each film comes from a particular pedigree of nerd fandom: Paul is the "two geeks pick up an alien in the desert" film written by and starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz), is directed by Greg Mottola (Superbad, Adventureland), and also features Jason Bateman (Arrested Development), Sigourney Weaver (Alien), Seth Rogen (Pineapple Express), Jo Lo Truglio (The State), Kristen Wiig, and Bill Hader (both SNL). The film begins at the San Diego Comic Con and is packed with references to other geeky alien movies. I generally enjoyed Paul, but the film doesn't really pick up until Wiig's arrival in the film, mostly because Paul isn't so much of a character as he is Seth Rogen before she enters the narrative.


 Your Highness is David Gordon Green (All the Real Girls, George Washington)'s much anticipated follow-up to Pineapple Express, the film that moved Green from "indie filmmaker" to "mainstream sellout" in some eyes, but to many of us was a logical preamble to Eastbound and Down. Your Highness re-teamed Green with Danny McBride and James Franco along with Natalie Portman (Leon: The Professional), Justin Theroux (Mulholland Dr), Zooey Deschanel (500 Days of Summer), and was an ode to the sword and sorcery fantasy genre that was omnipresent in the 1980s. I must admit that other than Conan the Barbarian, I was never that into the whole movement, and only one website really seemed very excited about Your Highness when the film actually came out, so I skipped out on it. It's not highly regarded by critics or audiences, and when I couldn't make a $1.50 Theatre showing, it seemed best to let the film slide. I will give it a shot some time soon, because I do trust the creative team.



 Super splits critics right down the middle: James Gunn (who wrote Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake and directed the amazing Slither) took a very Troma-esque approach to the "super hero in the real world" subgenre (see: Kick-Ass, Defendor, Special, Paper Man, and a few others I'm forgetting), starring Rainn Wilson (The Office), Ellen Page (Juno), Kevin Bacon (Hollow Man), Michael Rooker (Slither), Nathan Fillion (Serenity) and very briefly, Linda Cardellini (Freaks and Geeks). It's a twisted, at times extremely violent and crude film, and as many people hate it as love it. I have the feeling that some of that comes from the influence of Lloyd Kaufman's Troma Films, where Gunn cut his teeth - there are parts of Super that feel like they've been directly lifted from The Toxic Avenger, and if Troma team releases aren't your thing, Super might not be either. However, if you even liked Slither, you should check out Super.

 It was odd to see all of them coming out on the same day, draining the wallets of geeks who can't be bothered to sit in a movie theatre anymore, because they share roughly the same history: lots of buzz preceding their release, mixed reviews, and moderate to tepid audience attendance. I don't know about Your Highness, but Super and Paul will probably have a long life on video because they appeal to the shut-in's and cast-out's that do, well, what I'm doing right now. Gee, I wonder if I have Paul and Super sitting on the table across the room? Maybe, but what are they sitting under? Bet you won't guess that one!

 (Hint: It's not Your Highness.)

  It is fair to point out that despite their lack of box office busting prowess, none of the discs appear to be bare-bones. This may be a sign that studios are aware that the geek demographic is willing to pay a little bit more for a high quality, high definition experience as long as the movie is packed to the gills with bonus content (Universal is very good at this, and while Paul isn't as loaded as, say, Scott Pilgrim with extra features, it's a better lineup than say, Paramount's True Grit Blu-Ray).

 Why all three on the same day? I don't really know, but maybe we ought not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Maybe it's an opportunity to kick back with some friends, some brewskis, and enjoy a laid back August weekend.




Hollow Man is what you guys think of when you hear "Kevin Bacon", right? Or maybe Death Sentence? Oh, and Michael Rooker has been in a lot more than just Slither, but Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer ate up too much space and I'm sure as hell not going to use Mallrats.

Blogorium Review: Super

In many ways, Super feels like James Gunn's response to Matthew Vaughn's Kick-Ass; Gunn (Slither, The Specials), who wrote and directed the film, seems to be taking the concept of a normal schlub turned masked vigilante in the "real" world and letting it play out without Hit Girl's and jetpacks with Gatling guns attached. The end result is vulgar, graphically violent, and at times bizarre. More importantly, it's funny, as long as your sense of humor is deeply twisted.

Frank D'Arbo (Rainn Wilson) is a nobody cook at a diner married to recovering junkie Sarah (Liv Tyler), until she leaves him for strip club owner / drug dealer Jacques (Kevin Bacon). When Frank tries to win her back, he pushes the rather reasonable Jacques to the point of unleashing his goons, Abe (Michael Rooker), Toby (Sean Gunn) and Quill (Stephen Blackheart), and a beating ensues. Unable to talk a police Detective (Gregg Henry) into helping him, Frank finds inspiration from Holy Avenger (Nathan Fillion), a TV Superhero that seems to be sending him messages directly through the show. After consulting comic book shop employee Libby (Ellen Page), Frank decides to become The Crimson Bolt, a masked vigilante who fights crime. His wave of righteous, if brutal, crime-fighting inspires Libby to join him as Boltie, The Crimson Bolt's sidekick, and together they storm Jacques' mansion(?) compound to save Sarah.

Off the bat, I have to tell you that Super is not for most people. Most of you will bristle at the violence, at the casual brutality visited on nearly every character, and the cavalier attitude towards bad taste. The tone is going to rub many audiences the wrong way - it's a little weird, a little sentimental, and a lot cruel. That said, if you loved Slither, or have a soft spot for Troma Team releases (not coincidentally where Gunn cut his teeth), you're going to love this film. We're talking about a movie that opens with an animated version of Frank's life, with a combination of melting bodies, bunny rabbits, and song-and-dance choreography, and features Rob Zombie as the voice of God*.

I understand that people really like Kick-Ass, and I don't. I hate Kick-Ass, if for nothing else than it gives up on its premise halfway through the film in order to appeal to geeks looking for something "bad ass." At a certain point, the experiment of "comic book hero in the real world" simply becomes "how many people can hit girl kill / call 'cunts'"? Instead of commenting on comic book violence, Kick-Ass settles to up the quotient and hope you forgot the premise.

Super doesn't stray into the realm of "unbelievable," aside from one of the strangest instances of "divine inspiration" you're likely to ever see. The film itself may be weird (and that's the best way to put it), but in terms of its premise, it keeps the rules clear. The Crimson Bolt loses his first fight, decides to research what non-super-powered heroes use, and settles on a wrench. Imagine a vigilante that runs up to criminals and smashes their head in with a wrench, and you have some idea of what kind of movie you're in for. The wrench hits are, shall we say, visceral, although it's far from as graphic as some violence gets later in the film.

It wasn't until after I finished Super that I realized the news coverage about The Crimson Bolt followed the same direction that The Toxic Avenger did, almost directly - the "victims" of The Crimson Bolt (and later, Boltie) are eventually revealed to be the pedophiles, drug dealers, and thieves Frank already knew they were, and somehow the public tide turns in his direction, just like Toxie. That this follows an expletive-laden "announcement" from Bolty about the dynamic duo makes it all the more amusing. Really, if the movie hasn't won you over by that point, Ellen Page's shift from Libby to Boltie will tip the scales in a big way.

Rainn Wilson's Frank D'Arbo** is a believable schlub; Wilson plays the loser as a basically nice guy who has been trod his entire life and just wants a break. For the brutality he dishes out, Frank is surprisingly old fashioned in his morals - when Libby becomes, shall we say, increasingly randy, and tries to seduce Frank, he freaks out and reminds her he IS married and that he takes that very seriously. That said, it doesn't really work; I don't want to spoil too much, but it is one of the more twisted and hilarious sex scenes you'll see this year.

Ellen Page wasn't doing much for me as Libby, a character that's mostly trying too hard to be appealing in an otherwise unappealing world, but that shift to Boltie changes everything. When she puts the costume on and feels free to go crazy, not only does a wanton cruelty emerge, but Boltie can't seem to stop calling The Crimson Bolt "Frank" in front of everyone, and her enthusiasm lifts the film at a much needed juncture.

Kevin Bacon is probably the biggest surprise in the film; he plays Jacques as a sleazeball that's really trying not to be. When Frank charges up to him outside of his club (Bare Assets), Jacques tries to be the bigger man in the situation, even after D'Arbo starts hitting his car and screaming at him. I think you're supposed to hate him, but until the end I kind of liked Jacques, because Kevin Bacon is so reasonable and Frank seems so unreasonable.

Liv Tyler doesn't have much to do as the damsel-in-distress Sarah, but she's generally likable and you believe that she could fall for Frank. I honestly didn't know which of the goons was Gunn's brother and which one was Blackheart, but they were fine - the real star of that show is Rooker, whose Abe likes eating candy and listening to music when not hurting people. Nathan Fillion's stoic Holy Avenger is likely to give fans of The Hammer a great topic of discussion: which Fillion "superhero" is better (Cranpire also suggests his "supervillian" Preacher from Buffy the Vampire Slayer be part of the debate). There are a few other nice cameos I won't mention, although I question why of all of them Linda Cardellini's pet shop employee made it into the opening credits when she's barely in the movie.

I must reiterate that fans of The Office and Dwight Schrute are probably going to hate Super. Ellen Page fans from Juno and Whip It are more than likely going to hate Super. Fans of Kick-Ass are probably going to hate Super. People with an iota of good taste are certainly going to hate Super. Some critics already hate Super because of what happens to Boltie (and one of the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes flat out spoils it). This is not a film for everyone, even if the posters are quite clever and it puts The Crimson Bolt's catchphrase ("Shut up, crime!") to good use. I think people are expecting a more kitschy, indie comedy and are getting something much more demented.

Super is mostly going to appeal to a) people who were underwhelmed with Kick-Ass, and b) existing James Gunn fans. If you liked Slither and Tromeo and Juliet, or the off kilter tone of Scooby Doo, Dawn of the Dead (2005) or The Specials (which he wrote) , then this is going to be right up your alley. You can take James Gunn out of Troma, but you can't take the Troma out of James Gunn, and this is certainly a more polished version of a Troma superhero movie. If that sounds like something you'd want to see, I feel strongly you're going to really enjoy Super.


* I did not realize this until looking it up on IMDB, but considering the film, its wholly appropriate. *Which, by the way, is suspiciously similar in spelling to Frank D'Amico, Mark Strong's character in Kick-Ass.

2010 Recap: The Best DVD and Blu-Ray Releases

As we head towards the end of Cap'n Howdy's 2010 year-end recap, I thought I'd turn the focus away from films released in 2010 to shine a light on some of the fantastic DVD and Blu-Ray titles that made their way to stores (and, hopefully, your homes). Additionally, I'd like to point out a few films that the Cap'n discovered last year, generally tied to Horror and Summer Fests, that you ought to look into.

Blu-Ray:

Alien Anthology - I'm not even close to exploring every nook and cranny of the Blu-Ray equivalent to The Alien Quadrilogy. Not only is everything from that boxed set included, but 20th Century Fox completed the ADR on Alien 3's "workprint" version and included a Mu-Th-Ur mode that bridges all of the discs, allowing you to switch movies out without another round of FBI warnings, plus the streaming data remembers what you marks and directs you to extras on the fifth and sixth discs related to them. Additionally, the documentary on Alien 3 reinstated footage that deals with David Fincher's struggle to maintain his vision while studio executives and producers constantly intervened. Easily the best boxed set of 2010, and it's not even the only good one that came out this year.

The African Queen - It's hard to believe, but John Huston's The African Queen had never been released on DVD (or Blu-Ray) until 2010. It's nice to finally have the film in a very impressive audio and video presentation, and while the extras may be slim, the presence of the film itself was worth the wait.

Metropolis Restored - Kino Films released several quality releases in 2010 (including Sherlock Jr. / Three Ages, Steamboat Bill Jr., and The Black Pirate), but none may have been more anticipated than the almost complete Metropolis. After twenty five minutes of footage were discovered in Argentina and the film premiered in its restored version at the Berlin International Film Festival, cinephiles held their breath for the Blu-Ray release. The restored footage isn't in great shape, but I have to say that being able to see Metropolis as close to its original premiere as possible is worth the limitations of video quality.

Grindhouse - Speaking of movies that debuted in their original form this year, 2007's Grindhouse finally saw a Blu-Ray release of the film as shown in theatres (with awkward splices, commercials, ratings, and fake trailers intact) plus a second disc of extras (old and new). It's worth the price of admission just for Don't, Thanksgiving, and Werewolf Women of the S.S., but being able to show Grindhouse the way I saw it the first time is an even the Cap'n is looking forward to in 2011.

The Bridge on the River Kwai - I'm an unabashed fan of David Lean's The Bridge on the River Kwai, and while I parted with my DVD copy with hesitation, the upgrade was absolutely worth it. Like The African Queen, the new extras aren't much to speak of, but all of the old features are intact and considering that you can get The Bridge on the River Kwai for $20 or less, it's a no-brainer for classic film fans.

Back to the Future Trilogy - Other than the fact that the discs are almost impossible to remove the first time you open the set, I heartily recommend the Back to the Future series on Blu-Ray. The "set ups and payoffs" extra runs through all three films, and there are a gaggle of in-jokes that I never caught before. The set is also worth checking out for what will likely be the only footage of Eric Stoltz as Marty McFly we'll ever see.

Apocalypse Now - This "Full Disclosure" edition improves on the "Complete Dossier" DVD version by putting ALL of Apocalypse Now and Coppola's Redux on one disc (the DVD version split half of each version over two discs), restores the film to its proper widescreen format (2.35:1 rather than 2.00:1) and includes another disc of extras from previous versions. Oh, and Hearts of Darkness, the documentary about making Apocalypse Now that's as riveting as the film itself, in high def on disc three.

Psycho - The film is great. The disc looks great. I don't know that I need to sell you on Psycho any further.

Fantasia / Fantasia 2000 - We'll get to a review of Fantasia 2000 in the next week or two, but having what is arguably my favorite Disney film on Blu Ray is worth having its sequel on board. The extras from the Fantasia Legacy are included, but as an online "Virtual Vault" set. Disney doesn't slouch with their high definition classics, and Fantasia and Fantasia 2000 are no exception.

Delicatessen - Jean-Pierre Jeneut's debut film is the first Studio Canal Collection disc that I really went gaga over. Sure, Contempt looked good and The Ladykillers had a greater clarity, but Delicatessen is a knock out on Blu-Ray. I certainly hope that The City of Lost Children follows, and that if Studio Canal insists on pulling Criterion licenses (this is not one of them, but bear with me), that they'll give future releases the treatment Delicatessen got.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (Blu-Ray) and Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy (DVD) - Although I may have a soft spot for Jason Vorhees and Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger has always been my favorite boogeyman in the "slasher" era. While it would be nice to see the entire Nightmare on Elm Street series in high def (even Freddy's Revenge), I can't complain about New Line's release of the first film on Blu-Ray. The only down side may be that the terrible looking "stretched arms" scene is even cheesier in 1080p, but beggars can't be choosers, right? As I mentioned in my favorite films, Never Sleep Again is THE horror documentary to beat, period. I would happily watch it again.

Class of Nuke 'em High - You never thought this would be on Blu-Ray, did you? Here's a shocker: it's the best looking Troma movie I've ever seen, on DVD or otherwise. Admittedly, that's like saying "well, he's the handsomest caveman," but even with that caveat, you'll be surprised how nice such a cheap exploitation movie looks.

DVDs:

Death Bed: The Bed that Eats - There's no explaining the story of Death Bed in a way that makes sense. There's no adequate way of describing how the death bed eats people, because you really need to see it to believe it. For a film that had never seen release until the 21st century, 1977's bizarre Death Bed: The Bed that Eats must be seen, yet cannot be un-seen.

Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell - In the age of trailer compilations (42nd Street Forever, All Monsters Attack, Shock Festival, Trailers from Hell), it might be hard to argue the value of a VHS cheapie ported directly to DVD and released without any effort to hide that fact, let alone one with a terrible "corpse" ventriloquist and plodding zombie gags. However, Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell manages to be entertainingly sleazy and has a "let's put on a show" vibe that excuses much of the cheapness to the affair. There are better ways to watch exploitation trailers, to be sure, but Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell is a throwback to the golden age of VHS, and as a result manages to eek out a win.

Kingdom of the Spiders - Admittedly, I'd only ever seen Kingdom of the Spiders on TV, and not even in a complete form (mostly just random scenes). Aside from a zonked out Japanese film to be mentioned shortly, this was probably the best received film from Horror Fest V. It's incessant sleaziness, mean-spirited tone, and quasi-apocalyptic ending, along with the Shatner factor, made Kingdom of the Spiders the re-issue of 2010 (close runners up: The House on Sorority Row and The Slumber Party Massacre Collection).

Now we'll move on to a few companies that consistently hit it out of the park on high definition this year:

Shout! Factory - Specifically their MST3k and Roger Corman Cult Classics collections, which continue to be great stuff. Shout! took over for Rhino in releasing Mystery Science Theater 3000, and in addition to providing some truly excellent retrospective pieces on the films, the series, and the people behind both, volume XIX completed the "bot" triumvirate by including a Gypsy figurine to the existing Servo (volume XVI) and Crow (volume XIII / 20th Anniversary), leaving only Cambot or the Satellite of Love for future releases. The Roger Corman Cult Classics collection runs across DVD and Blu-Ray and has included remastered versions of Death Race 2000, Piranha, The Slumber Party Massacre collection, Humanoids from the Deep, Not of This Earth, Starcrash, Galaxy of Terror, Rock 'N Roll High School, Forbidden World, and double feature discs with the likes of Death Sport, Battle Truck, Up from the Depths, Big Bad Mama (1&2), Lady in Red, The Warrior and the Princess, Crazy Mama, Barbarian Queen, The Evil, Twice Dead, The Terror Within, Dead Space and Demon of Paradise. And there are more to come in 2011!

Blue Underground - William Lustig's spin-off of Anchor Bay has continued to reissue their titles on Blu-Ray, often with surprisingly great looking discs. In 2010, they released George Romero's The Crazies, Fulci's City of the Living Dead, plus Vampyres, Django, Machine Gun McCain, Maniac, The Prowler, Vigilante, Uncle Sam, and The Toolbox Murders.

Warner Brothers - who pushed harder than just about any other studio to put their back catalog on Blu-Ray, including The Maltese Falcon, Forbidden Planet, King Kong, The Exorcist, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, and more recent Cap'n favorites The Goonies and Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet.

Criterion - I don't even know where to start with Criterion's 2010 release slate. If we focus strictly on the NEW Blu-Rays (and not re-issues of Spine Numbers in high definition), we're still talking about Paths of Glory, Modern Times, Cronos, Che, Stagecoach, Paris, Texas, Vivre sa vie, Mystery Train, Red Desert, By Brakhage volume two, Crumb, The Magician, The Thin Red Line, The Night of the Hunter, The Darjeeling Limited, Antichrist, Lola Montes, Bigger Than Life, and Nobuhiko Obayashi's acid-trip ghost story House. Or we could look at the motherload boxed set, America Lost and Found: the BBS Story, which features Head, Easy Rider, Five Easy Pieces, Drive, He Said, A Safe Place, The Last Picture Show, and The King of Marvin Gardens. That's not including DVD releases of Terry Zwigoff's Louie Bluie, Make Way for Tomorrow, The Fugitive Kind, 3 Classics by Josef von Sternberg, Roberto Rosselini's War Trilogy, and Eclipse sets for Chantal Akerman, George Bernard Shaw on Film, early Kurosawa, Nagisa Oshima, Sacha Guitry, and Allan King.

Summerfest 3 Day One: Werewolf in a Girls Dormitory and The Toxic Avenger

The madness has begun! Thanks to the streaming power of the internet and some PS3 chicanery, the Cap'n got started a little early by watching Werewolf in a Girl's Dormitory, which - as many arriving guests warned others - is nowhere as interesting as the title suggests.

In fact, "Girl's Dormitory" may be a little misleading, since it's more like a Shutter Island for troubled teens. For example, our heroine (at least, I think so) Priscilla (Barbara Lass) is locked up for "attempted homicide" and her investigation into suspected werewolf activity may just be an elaborate set up by the institution to help her overcome the grief of mauling her friend Mary (Mary McNeeran). Actually, it's probably not, but I didn't actually finish the movie, so I don't know.

For about 45 minutes, we watched a "mystery" about Mary's death (spoiler: the werewolf kills her in the first ten minutes) without the benefit of anybody or thing we care about. If you're looking for a werewolf (or Ghoul, as IMDB lists the film), good luck; there's a kinda-werewolf looking thing near the beginning and then a whole lot of nothing until the 50 minute mark, when a dude that looks like a reject from Horror of the Blood Monsters stalks around in hairy gloves and a black body suit. I think.

What most of the run time we could bother ourselves with had to do with Priscilla trying to figure out which of the increasingly sketchy staff members was the killer (she assumes as wolf killed Mary, but doesn't know a WEREwolf did the deed, so we the audience are left playing the "which one is the wolf?" game). Is it the newly arrived Doctor Julian Alcott (Carl Schell), who transferred to the facility after being acquitted of murdering one of his patients? Is it Sir Alfred Whiteman (Maurice Marsac), the headmaster that may or may not be the subject of blackmail? The Peter Lorre-looking groundskeeper? The super sketchy assistant to the head Doctor? The head Doctor? The lady whose name I forgot? Why do so many of the dubbed actors seem to be speaking English? These are mysteries for the ages, because The Toxic Avenger was calling...

---

After we finished Troma's crown jewel, The Toxic Avenger, it became clear that not watching the movie since any of us were 11 does wonders in helping you forget EVERY SINGLE THING about the movie. Oh, I remembered the gore, and Toxie of course, but the mop that finishes off every corpse? The popcorn scene? Toxie's ability to know who is and isn't guilty by murdering them and letting the audience do the detective work? The incredibly well driven "car" scene? The flagrant theft of Death Race 2000's "scoring points" system?

We'd totally forgotten about them, along with almost every other nuance of this cult film. In a sense, it was like being able to watch the movie all over again, except much older and (slightly) more discerning. To say that the movie has high production values might be overstepping the boundaries a bit, but compared to how cheap The Toxic Avenger III and IV are, the original makes Chopping Mall look like... uh... well, Chopping Mall. Which is awesome, but also low budgeted, which I guess is where I was going with that.

Look, if you're watching a movie called The Toxic Avenger, and the "21st Anniversary" introduction from director (and Troma co-founder) Lloyd Kaufman is all about how Toxie is out of shape and now gay and somehow closes on Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD, then you take what small pleasures you can get, and there are many to be had. Just set your threshold for being offended aside, because there's really no point letting this movie upset your delicate sensibilities.

Things we learned from The Toxic Avenger:

- in Tromaville, the local Mexican Restaurant sells Tacos, Milkshakes, and Pizza. They also keep samurai swords on the wall beneath the sombrero.
- "cornholing a blind chick" is on everybody's bucket list.
- the Mayor of Tromaville is also his receptionist.
- renting two tanks isn't that expensive, apparently.
- it was even cheaper to rent the gym, because almost 80% of the movie takes place there.
- exit signs are deceptive.
- two giant bags of coke are better than one if you're driving a flatbed truck with open barrels of toxic waste.
- taking a picture of a blind girl's dead dog and putting on her wall so she can remember him by NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE THE PICTURE is Toxie's finest hour.
- no, wait; killing the midget in the laundromat just moments after we've been introduced to the character is.
- you can write a script where it's just assumed the characters also know things only the audience has been exposed to.
- Toxie can selectively choose who / what is or isn't burned by his radiation.
- Not watching a movie for twenty years and then coming back to it is actually a better idea than you'd think.

Up next: The Descent Part 2!

Get those wallets ready, fanatics!

I seem to come back to this every few months, but in the waning days of the DVD market, the Cap'n finally has the opportunity to show you just how tricky it is for a smaller distributor like Criterion to keep movies, let alone get the ones you really want them to carry*. For the first time that I can remember, Criterion sent out an email letting viewers know exactly which movies would be added to the dreaded "Out of Print" list.

The list is as follows:

Alphaville (Jean-Luc Godard)
Carlos Saura’s Flamenco Trilogy (Eclipse Series 6)
Le corbeau (The Raven - Henri-Georges Clouzot)
Coup de torchon (Bertrand Tavernier)
Diary of a Country Priest (Robert Bresson)
The Fallen Idol (Carol Reed)
Forbidden Games (René Clément)
Gervaise (René Clément)
Grand Illusion (Jean Renoir)
Le jour se lève (Marcel Carné)
Last Holiday (Henry Cass)
Mayerling (Anatole Litvak)
The Orphic Trilogy (Jean Cocteau)
Peeping Tom (Michael Powell)
Pierrot le fou (Jean-Luc Godard)
Port of Shadows (Marcel Carné)
Quai des Orfèvres(Henri-Georges Clouzot)
The Small Back Room (Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger)
The Tales of Hoffmann (Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger)
Trafic (Jacques Tati)
Le trou (Jacques Becker)
Variety Lights (Federico Fellini and Alberto Lattuada)
The White Sheik (Federico Fellini)

Criterion is losing the rights to these films soon, and they'll revert to Lionsgate, who will release them in their own way as they see fit. I wouldn't be surprised to see several films by the same director released in "no extras" boxed sets, which Lionsgate has done recently with other "art" films. Or they might get Blu-Ray releases. It's hard to say, because as DVD winds down, studios are groping for whatever they can get in order to package quickly and get into stores.

As they mention in the email, Jean Renoir's Grand Illusion has another important distinction for any serious Criterion collector: in addition to being a terrific film, it bears the Spine Number 1. Akira Kurosawa's Seven Samurai is still Spine Number 2 (and Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes 3), but soon it's going to be tricky to begin your collection. I suspect, like many low numbered items, that Grand Illusion will become the expensive "collector's item" out of this batch, but it's a hefty list of movies to pick up quickly, if that's your steez.

In the mean time, if you were still wondering why your favorite random movie wasn't getting the full-on Spine Number treatment, they have their hands full hanging on to the films they have. Taxi Driver probably isn't going to be the kind of movie they can get ahold of. In fact, the HD release of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas has none of the Criterion supplements; just the barebones Universal dvd "spotlight on location" and some deleted scenes. But, if I may interject, 2010 is the 25th anniversary of Terry Gilliam's Brazil, so maybe Universal and Criterion could cut some kind of Blu-Ray deal. Maybe?

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Finally, I found at least half of this video - which posits the question "what if famous directors filmed the Super Bowl?" - amusing. The David Lynch joke has been done to death, but the video is totally worth it for the one-two punch of Jean-Luc Godard and Werner Herzog at the end.



If only they'd thrown in some footage from Natural Born Football Any Given Sunday and pretended it was Oliver Stone's "Super Bowl" footage.


* Yes, this goes back to the long-standing "Troll 2: The Criterion Collection" joke, among others, like Cannibal! The Musical.

True to my word...

I was not kidding. Here are (at least) 100 movies I expected to see remastered in High Definition before Clive Barker's Lord of Illusions*.

note: this is not a "better than" or "movies that should be", it merely reflects movies I expected to see announced for Blu Ray or showing in High Definition somewhere before they got around to Lord of Illusions.


Touch of Evil
Fantasia
Citizen Kane
The African Queen
Dracula
Vertigo
Seven Samurai
Frankenstein
Psycho
The Bride of Frankenstein
The Ten Commandments
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Metropolis
La Strada
Rashomon
The Virgin Spring
The Empire Strikes Back
High Noon
Taxi Driver
Point Blank
O Brother Where Art Thou
Sullivan's Travels
The Gold Rush
Duck Soup
The City of Lost Children
The Virgin Spring
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Lolita
The Thing from Another World
Apocalypse Now
On the Waterfront
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Sunset Boulevard
Alice in Wonderland
Eraserhead
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
Lawrence of Arabia
E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial
Soylent Green
Back to the Future
Ed Wood
Bringing Up Baby
Trainspotting
Jaws
Dead Man
A Hard Days Night
The Trial
Network
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Pulp Fiction
Blue Velvet
Insomnia
Toy Story
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Star Wars
The Outlaw Josey Wales
Some Like It Hot
The Bridge on the River Kwai
Tron
Rear Window
The Apartment
Spartacus
Modern Times
The Incredibles
A Fistful of Dollars
The Sound of Music
Escape from New York
The Maltese Falcon
Annie Hall
Ben-Hur
La Dolce Vita
Yojimbo
THX 1138
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
Mary Poppins
Paths of Glory
M
Days of Heaven
Jules and Jim
The Night of the Hunter
Night of the Living Dead
Amelie
The Man Who Wasn't There
City Lights
8 1/2
Ran
Double Indemnity
Nosferatu
Schindler's List
Leon: The Professional
To Kill a Mockingbird
All About Eve
Singin' in the Rain
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Scarface
The Hustler
In Bruges
Hellbound: Hellraiser II
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
The Philadelphia Story
The Conversation

and for good measure, three I wasn't really expecting but would have surprised me less than Lord of Illusions:

The Toxic Avenger
Freaks
Plan 9 from Outer Space


* Nothing personal, Lord of Illusions.

Defunct, but not forgotten.

I've had a bit of a backlog of new to new-ish Blu Rays to check out, and when I popped in Heathers for a trip back to memory lane (the disc looks great by the way. even with the soft filter on the camera, it's pretty impressive how good the movie looks), a logo popped up that always brings fond memories: New World Pictures.

To give you some idea of why a film company would interest me in the least, the Cap'n needs to take you back to those halcyon days of VHS. If you rented indiscriminately, as I used to, after a while you'd notice a pattern about certain movies major studios didn't release: specific types of films came from different independent distributors. For example, if you had something that was action/sci-fi/sword and sandal, odds are it came from Cannon Films. That was their specialty. If you found something truly bizarre with bright colors on the front, I'd be willing to bet you had a Troma tape in your hands. Periodically, you'd find a Hemdale Home Video release (most notably The Terminator, Platoon, or Return of the Living Dead), but the one I remember the most is New World Pictures.

Odds are, if you know this logo, you've seen more than one of their movies


New World Pictures started as a Roger Corman in 1970, but spun off in the early 80s from AIP, becoming its own entity. Unlike Cannon Films, New World made all sorts of films, and it's hard to imagine that regular readers of the blog haven't seen at least three of them. In fact, I'm positive I can name three every one of you have seen:

Heathers, Hellraiser, and C.H.U.D.

If those don't ring a bell, New World is also responsible for the following VHS tapes we watched as irresponsible youths:

Death Race 2000
Big Bad Mama
Cockfighter
Children of the Corn
The Stuff
House
Hellbound: Hellraiser II
House 2: The Second Story
Creepshow 2
Android
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
Dead Heat
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Dead End Drive-In
Reform School Girls
Vamp
Transylvania 6-5000
Deathstalker
The Slumber Party Massacre
Sorceress
Return to Horror High
18 Again!
Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night (remember that one?)
Warlock
Fitzcarraldo
The Brood
The Punisher
Return of the Killer Tomatoes
Return to Horror High
Piranha
Soul Man
Rock N Roll High School

New World doesn't exist any more, as its now a part of Newscorp, the Rupert Murdoch owned company that also runs 20th Century Fox. If half of those ring a bell, it's because Anchor Bay has the rights to most of New World's catalog, including Sledge Hammer!, a series produced by the company. In fact, Corman films aside, I'd say most of those movies are currently dvds I have (or have seen) thanks to Anchor Bay.

If you want to see what else you might have New World to thank for distributing, feel free to check the IMDB list out. I left quite a few notables out; for example, I had no idea they released Federico Fellini's Amarcord here in the states. Cool beans.

At any rate, to this day when I pop a movie in and see the New World Pictures logo, I know I'm in for a unique experience, if not a frequently good one. For an indie distributor, they weren't a Lions Gate or even an Artisan for their day, but New World put out some quality product for low budgets.

I'm Just Talkin' Bout Cult Movies (we can dig it!)

I have no idea why I feel a strange compulsion to put movies like Grizzly in my box when they show up at work. They're rarely (if ever) good, and it's not like I'm strapped for movies of the "cult" variety. I just like having them around, so much so that the "cult" section has its own shelf now.

Speaking of which, how many people does a movie that languishes in semi-obscurity need to qualify as a "cult" film? Let's say that something like The Rocky Horror Picture Show represents the "high" end, with literally thousands of people nation (world?) wide celebrating it every week. Appropriately, the low end of the spectrum should be RHPS's sequel Shock Treatment, which at best has several dozens* of seriously devoted fans who were involved in the very dvd itself.

But what makes up a "cult" audience? I've always considered Cannibal! The Musical to qualify because only five or six of us watched it in college ten years ago, and we were also the same people who seriously tried to see Orgazmo when it played at The Studio for like half a week. Now South Park is huge and everybody seems to own a copy of Orgazmo and Team America, but Cannibal! is still less known. Which I think is good. I guess. It's apparently popular enough for Troma to create a Criterion-like brand called Tromasterpiece.

Side note: Spine number 2 of Criterion was The Seven Samurai. Spine number 2 of Tromasterpiece is Redneck Zombies.

It's probably safe to say that movies from Troma and Full Moon are "cult" films, however dubious the size of said "cult". I dislike putting the term in quotes, but does it need to be in Videohound or Midnight Movies to automatically qualify? Does it need an audience base of more than 50 or something?

A quick search on Amazon brought up the following possibilities, and the somewhat dubious** Wikipedia has a page for "cult film". They begin to describe it as such:

"The term cult film is used to describe a film that has had little to no success commercially and critically upon its initial release but has later spawned a small, but devoted and usually obsessive fanbase, however there are various exceptions."

Gee, that's helpful. Especially when you suggest a movie like Freddie Got Fingered fits this criteria***. It is kind of interesting to see that in the "recent" cult films, Wet Hot American Summer is considered alongside the obvious Donnie Darko. There's also a link to Mystery Science Theater 3000, which has in its own way created a "cult" audience for films like Mitchell, Manos: The Hands of Fate, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

In fact, I see pretty much what I expected to see on the Wikipedia page, so I'm going to turn the floor over to you guys. Submitted is the list on films on my "cult" shelf. See if you agree or disagree with their status:

All Monsters Attack!
Atomic War Bride / This is Not a Test
Basket Case
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Caligula
Cannibal Holocaust
Cannibal! The Musical
Cemetery Man
C.H.U.D.
Class of 1984
The Company of Wolves
The Crawling Eye
The Crawling Hand
The Crazies
Day of the Animals
Detroit 9000
Dirty Mary Crazy Larry
Dolemite
Forbidden Zone
Gojira / Godzilla: King of the Monsters
Godzilla Raids Again
Gone in 60 Seconds
Hell Comes to Frogtown
Horror Rises from the Tomb
I Spit on Your Grave
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies
Inglorious Bastards
Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
The Last House on the Left
Macabre
Maniac
Maniac Cop
Manos: The Hands of Fate
The Mighty Gorga / One Million AC/DC
The Mighty Peking Man
Mommie Dearest
Mothra vs. Godzilla
Oldboy
Orgazmo
The Prowler
Race with the Devil
Repo Man
Road Games
Robot Monster
Rock 'N Roll High School
Roy Colt and Winchester Jack
Savage Streets
Seconds
The Story of Ricky (Riki-Oh)
Stranger from Venus
The Stuff
Targets
They Live
The Toxic Avenger
Vanishing Point
Vigilante
The Wizard of Gore
Xanadu

plus the following compilations / boxed sets:

42nd Street Forever volumes 1-3
The Roger Corman Collection (Gas-s-s-s, The Trip, The Young Racers, The Wild Angels, Bloody Mama, A Bucket of Blood, The Premature Burial, X: The Man with X-Ray Eyes)
Drive-In Cult Classics Volume 2 (The Madman of Mandoras, They Saved Hitler's Brain, Terrified, Bloodlust!, The Creeping Terror, Land of the Minotaur, The Hearse, The Devil's Hand)
Exploitation Cinema Collection (The Teacher, Pick Up, Malibu High, Trip with the Teacher, The Beach Girls, Coach, The Hellcats, Chain Gang Women, Don't Answer the Phone, Prime Evil, Superchick, Hustler Squad, Sister Street Fighter, The Bodyguard, Dragon Princess, Karate Warriors, Black Candles, Evil Eye, Las Vegas Lady, Policewomen)
Herschell Gordon Lewis's Blood Trilogy (Blood Feast, Two Thousand Maniacs, Color Me Blood Red)
Paul Naschy Double Features 1 & 2 (Human Beasts / Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll and Curse of the Devil / Werewolf Shadow)
The Ed Wood Box (Glen... or Glenda?, Jailbait, Bride of the Monster, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Night of the Ghouls)


Now I'm thinking about adding the following movies: Circle of Iron, The Warriors, Donnie Darko, Wet Hot American Summer, and Eraserhead. Thoughts?


* I'm being generous, okay?
** Just as professors discourage using Wikipedia as a source, so do I recommend we not take everything it has to say to heart. After all, it's constantly changing and anyone (including the Cap'n) could change a "fact" at any time.
*** The first half (total box office failure) I see. The second half (having ANY fans) I really can't. See, I saw it (I know, you're stunned), and while it's not the worst thing you've ever seen, it's pretty unwatchable.

The Universe Caught Up, Gang!

One of the questions the Cap'n got all the time early in the days of dvd was "when will there be a Criterion Collection version of Cannibal! The Musical?" It was a half joke, but apparently Troma heard something similar or they just never turned off the microphones they implanted in my brain.

Much to my surprise, closer inspection of the 13th Anniversary Edition of Cannibal! was not merely some "random reissue", nor was it like the 26th Anniversary Edition of The Toxic Avenger. Cannibal! The Musical is part of the Tromasterpiece Collection, spine number 1 to be specific.

To make it abundantly clear, there's a circle with a picture of Toxie on the front and side with the number 1 on it, and the disc opens with the same image ala older Criterion discs. The Toxie picture functions as the Janus logo. How seriously is Troma taking their new "Collection"? Lloyd Kaufman recorded a new introduction for Cannibal!.

If you aren't familiar with Troma, they have a simple gimmick for every dvd: an "introduction" from Lloyd Kaufman where he sits at a desk and welcomes you to the film you're about to watch. Whenever the name of the film is mentioned, his mouth is conveniently obscured or his head is turned or something distracts you because, well, it's the exact same introduction EVERY SINGLE TIME.

But not now, it would seem. Troma heard you, Criterion fans with a sense of humor, and soon you'll have a whole new set of "spine numbers" to collect, starting with the very worthy first film from Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Oh, if you were wondering: yes, Cannibal! The Musical is just as funny now as it was then.

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I had to mention briefly the interview with X-Files producer Frank Spotnitz, if only because he blames the poor box office showing for I Want to Vomit this Movie is So Bad on the success of The Dark Knight:

"We were all a bit disappointed, we had some indication that we were in for a rough time when THE DARK KNIGHT started to become the phenomenon that it is, and breaking records. THE DARK KNIGHT is a history making film at the box office, and we came out with our little dark film a week after. It was disappointing to be sure."

So nobody went to see it because of The Dark Knight, and not because it was underwhelming and word of mouth spread that very quickly. Gotcha. Speaking of which, if anyone would like to test the merits of I Want to Believe, feel free to pick one up in the Sam's Club in Cary, which is selling it early even though they shouldn't be.

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Not knowing what to expect when I opened the David Lynch Lime Green Box, I was surprised to discover that the dvds of previously released films (The Elephant Man, Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart) seem to be part of the box with the consent of each studio (Paramount and MGM respectively).

I haven't had time to pop the discs in to check out if they're exactly the same (the discs all have a new "lime green" theme to them... it's easier to show you if you come over) but that's impressive. The last time something like that happened was the Stanley Kubrick boxed set, and possibly the Oliver Stone set. Studios are usually very stingy about letting someone else release their catalog titles (i.e. why there would never be a Criterion Cannibal! The Musical, Tromasterpiece nonwithstanding).

The Lime Green Box itself is very cool, although in predictably Lynchian fashion there is no guide whatsoever to the content of the discs beyond films. There is a very nice booklet of photos I hadn't seen before and an ad for his coffee, but without watching them individually, the Cap'n couldn't tell you exactly what's on the box.