Hey gang. We're down to the final, this-time-I-promise-no-more-voting round to voting. They're all going up late tonight when I get back into Greensboro, but here's what you have to narrow down from twelve to six:
Black Sheep Blood Car Chopping Mall Drag Me to Hell Dead Alive Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter Hillbillys in a Haunted House Night of the Lepus Shark Attack 3: Megalodon Slither Teeth Terrorvision
I tried to make the match-ups fair, so all you have to decide is "which of these movies is going to be more fun with the other movies I [meaning you] chose?" Truthfully, any combination of them would be a hell of a fun night, and I may have my own personal preferences, but it's up to you. You'll have until Monday afternoon to decide, but please take all of your choices into consideration with each other. Animals gone amok? Zombies of different shapes and sizes? Demonic possession? Generally fucked up movies that scrape 80 minutes?
On Saturday, starting at 6pm, I will take the selections and put them in the order that makes the most sense for a great night. If some non-winners have high votes, I may institute a "matinee" showing of one or two of them. And of course, there's always a chance you'll see runners up elsewhere in the fest. Vote prudently.
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I was surprised at just how well The Wrestler lent itself to being recut as a Grindhouse slasher-palooza. See for yourself:
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Based on a very special request by Dr. Adam Bomb, I am willing to consider Basket Case as a candidate for Horror Fest. It's all a matter of where it fits in best.
Join Cap'n Howdy and friends for four days of non-stop horror movie action! This will be my last October in Greensboro, so I'm looking to give folks the best Horror Fest ever!
On Thursday night, we'll take a Horror Fest Field Trip to Zombieland, followed by more movies afterwards. Friday is Cap'n Howdy's picks, a collection of movies hand picked by yours truly.
Saturday is Fan Favorite Night: vote on which past Horror Fest movies you want to see again, then sit back and enjoy a night of the best the Fest has to offer.
Sunday is is anything goes night!
New Films for this year's Horror Fest include:
Join us for any and all nights of the festival. I guarantee you'll enjoy it!
Hobo Bug Juice and Tripwire will be served to anyone brave enough to try them.
I've had a bit of a backlog of new to new-ish Blu Rays to check out, and when I popped in Heathers for a trip back to memory lane (the disc looks great by the way. even with the soft filter on the camera, it's pretty impressive how good the movie looks), a logo popped up that always brings fond memories: New World Pictures.
To give you some idea of why a film company would interest me in the least, the Cap'n needs to take you back to those halcyon days of VHS. If you rented indiscriminately, as I used to, after a while you'd notice a pattern about certain movies major studios didn't release: specific types of films came from different independent distributors. For example, if you had something that was action/sci-fi/sword and sandal, odds are it came from Cannon Films. That was their specialty. If you found something truly bizarre with bright colors on the front, I'd be willing to bet you had a Troma tape in your hands. Periodically, you'd find a Hemdale Home Video release (most notably The Terminator, Platoon, or Return of the Living Dead), but the one I remember the most is New World Pictures.
Odds are, if you know this logo, you've seen more than one of their movies
New World Pictures started as a Roger Corman in 1970, but spun off in the early 80s from AIP, becoming its own entity. Unlike Cannon Films, New World made all sorts of films, and it's hard to imagine that regular readers of the blog haven't seen at least three of them. In fact, I'm positive I can name three every one of you have seen:
Heathers, Hellraiser, and C.H.U.D.
If those don't ring a bell, New World is also responsible for the following VHS tapes we watched as irresponsible youths:
Death Race 2000 Big Bad Mama Cockfighter Children of the Corn The Stuff House Hellbound: Hellraiser II House 2: The Second Story Creepshow 2 Android Elvira, Mistress of the Dark Dead Heat Hell Comes to Frogtown Dead End Drive-In Reform School Girls Vamp Transylvania 6-5000 Deathstalker The Slumber Party Massacre Sorceress Return to Horror High 18 Again! Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night (remember that one?) Warlock Fitzcarraldo The Brood The Punisher Return of the Killer Tomatoes Return to Horror High Piranha Soul Man Rock N Roll High School
New World doesn't exist any more, as its now a part of Newscorp, the Rupert Murdoch owned company that also runs 20th Century Fox. If half of those ring a bell, it's because Anchor Bay has the rights to most of New World's catalog, including Sledge Hammer!, a series produced by the company. In fact, Corman films aside, I'd say most of those movies are currently dvds I have (or have seen) thanks to Anchor Bay.
If you want to see what else you might have New World to thank for distributing, feel free to check the IMDB list out. I left quite a few notables out; for example, I had no idea they released Federico Fellini's Amarcord here in the states. Cool beans.
At any rate, to this day when I pop a movie in and see the New World Pictures logo, I know I'm in for a unique experience, if not a frequently good one. For an indie distributor, they weren't a Lions Gate or even an Artisan for their day, but New World put out some quality product for low budgets.
I've decided to bring the weekly polls back from certain death. This time, when you vote, it'll count for something.
For the last Horror Fest in Greensboro, I'm going to have two "theme" nights. One is dedicated to films of my choosing that we've never seen during a horror fest, like The Stuff, Ginger Snaps, Cemetery Man, Bad Taste, and Phantasm. The other night, "fan favorites", is for you folks. Attendees (and anyone else) is encouraged to narrow down the field of past Horror (and Summer) Fest faves into one concentrated night of sweetness.
Polls will run for a week and a half, and between now and October, I'll include five movies from each fest. You can vote more than once, and the two most popular will move on to the next round and face off against the top two of another week, until we have one kick-ass lineup.
Here, for those keeping score at home, is the field I'm asking you to narrow down:
Ghoulies 2
The Alligator People
The Lost Boys
Feast
The Wicker Man
From Dusk Til Dawn
Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter
Saw
Slither
Jeepers Creepers 2
Re-Animator
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Hostel Part II
Twilight Zone: The Movie
Dead & Buried
Night of the Lepus
Black Sheep
Hellraiser
1408
From Beyond
Return to Horror High
The Descent
Planet Terror
The Call of Cthulu
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers
Night of the Living Dead 3-D
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
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Plan 9 from Outer Space
Blood Car
Teeth
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
Dead Heat
C.H.U.D.
Fido
Friday the 13th Part 2
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
The Giant Claw
In the Mouth of Madness
Dead Alive
Halloween
Faces of Death
Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn
The Ruins
The Mist
Blade Trinity
Blood Feast
Child’s Play 2
The Paul Lynde Halloween Special
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
Horror of the Blood Monsters
The Wicker Man (2006)
The Orphanage
Drag Me to Hell
My Bloody Valentine 3-D
Army of Darkness
Alien Apocalypse
Chopping Mall
Terrorvision
Friday the 13th Part 3
The Prowler
Student Bodies
Uncle Sam
Hillbillys in a Haunted House
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus
Troll 2
Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires
Creepshow
Shaun of the Dead
vote early, vote often, and entice anyone you know to vote. We WILL watch the winners on Saturday night**.
If I had my druthers, the following films would certainly play:
Terrorvision Blood Car Slither Shark Attack 3: Megalodon Hillbillys in a Haunted House Night of the Lepus Black Sheep
but it's not up to me this time. I give you the power, so abuse away starting tomorrow!
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I'm also giving strong consideration to an "After Hours" version of Horror Fest, for after 1:30-2 am. We'd be watching much harder-edged-borderline-disturbing stuff, like Martyrs and Italian splatter gorefests. The kind of movies that I know some of you want to see but not everyone would stick around for. Let me know what you think.
* I promised I wouldn't identify it by name for a whole year, but you all know what it is. None of you are voting for it, so don't worry. **Thursday is Cap'n Howdy's picks, and Friday is reserved for Let the Right One In, Trick R Treat, and any other surprises I find between now and October.
Tonight I thought I'd let the pictures do some of the talking, with a handful of anecdotes from the Cap'n about what happened between movies and during Summer Fest. There are a lot of subplots that develop during any extended movie marathon, and we invented a handful of new terms / phrases based on movies we watched.
To prove it really happened, I took a picture of Ad Rock and Cranpire at a Horror Fest together for the first time since I started them. Nathan was kind enough to join in.
When I say that people who come to Summer Fest partake in Bad Alcohol, I'm not talking simply the run of the mill crap. To make my point clearer, note that Ad Rock and Cranpire are toasting with Budweiser with Clamato and Wild Irish Rose.
To prove they really drank it.
See what happens after you drink it?
Back for more...
Speaking of which, the Cap'n did promise to share his recipe for "Hobo Bug Juice", which is equal parts Wild Irish Rose and Mountain Dew Game Fuel (The red one) in a Styrofoam cup. If you're feeling very brave - or just hate yourself - feel free to substitute the Game Fuel with Miller Lite.
Before Hillbillys in a Haunted House.
It really is a movie, and that's really how they spell it.
After Hillbillys in a Haunted House.
Added to the vernacular from Summer Fest are the following phrases:
"Official Police Business" - you'll have to ask somebody what it means if you don't know.
"Medical Investigation" - a corollary to Official Police Business
"What kind of retardation...?" - a response to plot points, stupid questions, or dumb comments.
I also unveiled plans for two movies: Stab Lincoln, a horror movie about zombie Lincoln attacking modern day D.C., and its sequel, necessitated by the fact that there's only one way to kill a zombie Lincoln - zombie John Wilkes Booth with Confederate Army.
Of course, if you have a zombie Confederate Army, you have a sequel: Civil War Zombies.
The tagline is "The South Will Rise Again... FROM THE DEAD!!!!"
These things practically write themselves, so look for the dvd from Troma by next year.
I also came up with another great movie to make after Civil War Zombies 2: Zombie Sherman's March. Without saying too much, I can tell you the title is Raptor of Liberty, and it might look something like this:
Just some concept art, of course.
Finally, some images from The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires:
As we were waiting for more attendees to arrive, the Cap'n and company popped in Alien Apocalypse, a Sci Fi Channel Original Picture starring Bruce Campbell. If you've heard of it that's probably because Bruce shot the film back-to-back with The Man with the Screaming Brain in Romania and it uses most of the same crew (and some actors). Otherwise, I can't imagine too many folks having seen this, erm, gem.
I will say this: Alien Apocalypse is better than The Man with the Screaming Brain, but so is Terminal Invasion, and all of them are likely better than My Name is Bruce. I enjoy all of them in different ways, with Terminal Invasion being the favorite. However, Alien Apocalypse really delivers on the cheapness-to-scope of story ratio, so it's better suited for the Fest.
The movie is equal parts Planet of the Apes, Army of Darkness, and The Postman, and it lives up to all the strange ways you'd imagine a hybrid like that to appear. Bruce stars as Ivan somethingorother, an astronaut (and doctor) whose crew returns to find Earth in a post-apocalyptic state and Portland, Oregon ruled by giant space Termites*. Campbell and Renee O'Connor (Gabrielle from Xena: Warrior Princess) are the only survivors and something dumb happens where they work in a sawmill helping cut wood for no apparent reason.
You would assumed they cut the wood for the Termites, but those nefarious alien bastards only eat human heads and fingers. The Termites themselves are a mix of cheap looking puppets and cheaper looking cgi effects. Then again, everything is cheap in this film, from the dubbing of Romanian cast members to the patently fake beards and wigs various human "slaves" are wearing. Even the gloves they wear look like they came from Lowes or the Dollar Store gardening section.
Anyway, so you've figured out the Planet of the Apes part, so I'll clue you in on the AOD and Postman ripoff parts: Bruce trains the townspeople he meets and other freed slaves how to fight back against the termites, which is where the Army of Darkness part comes in, down to an automated arrow shooting car-thing. The Postman comes in because as the Bruce wanders post-Apocalyptic Oregon, he tries to find the President, who is hiding out somewhere. The catch is that his heroic tales begin to replace those about the President and the Doctor (as he is known by the end of the movie) becomes a new folk hero for these Oregonians. I know most of you never saw The Postman but that's basically what happens too, just with Tom Petty playing a futuristic version of himself.
The film is pretty cheesy and mostly not-bloody, although they make up for it near the end. After a largely bloodless arrow battle with exploding woodpiles, Bruce and Renee go nuts with some swords and cut the crap out of four or five termite puppets. They show the same termite decapitation clip like three times, but the green blood is kind of fun and it's a little silly. Overall, Alien Apocalypse is nothing out of the ordinary for Sci-Fi Channel Originals, but when you're dealing with Bruce it raises the bar a smidge.
Then we watched the Doctor Re-Animator video. Well, we watch it between almost every movie.
* Actually, I guess it could be Earth Termites, but it makes more sense if they're from space.
Sorry, gang, but the Cap'n was hit with some sudden extra school related work. Back tomorrow, if you're lucky. In the meantime, here's one from the vaults that ended up being a longer paper I may share some time.
Thursdays Fridays are for eating Hu-mans. It is also a time to celebrate films where monsters are created through a basic misunderstanding of radiation.
If we are to believe Hollywood (and why shouldn't we?), any time an atomic bomb is tested, the resulting irradiated area will be teeming with Giant Monsters that were once harmless insects, animals, even hu-mans. Look no further than movies like Them! (giant ants), Tarantula (tarantula), Attack of the 50 ft Woman (woman), and The Amazing Colossal Man (Glenn Lagan). Radiation can be blamed for elephantitis of the everything. It also makes people, ants, and tarantulas suddenly very interested in killing and wreaking havoc for no apparent reason. Then again, if you had been turned into a giant whatever-it-is-you-are, maybe you too would grow angry and destroy Las Vegas.
When it isn't creating Giant Monsters, radiation can also turn you into a race of super-powered mutants, like in Alexander Aja's remake of The Hills Have Eyes. Instead of being semi-retarded inbred mutants like in Wes Craven's version, Aja makes the "family" descendants of semi-retarded miners who decided not to leave "the hills" during A-bomb testing. While some of them show no mutation whatsoever and at least one of them turns into a big headed, wheelchair bound superfreak, the rest of the mutants gain Super-Hu-man Strength and stealth. They then use these radioactive super powers to capture and eat people. Even the dude with the permanently broken neck is pretty diesel. The kid in the wheelchair kind of makes sense, but radiation only turns you into a super hero if you're some nerdy teenager.
Also, we all know that radiation wakes up Godzilla. Godzilla is allergic to radiation, so every time you drop a bomb in the ocean of near MonsterIsland, it's like blowing a big kitten and ragweed dust bunny in the face of all Monsters. Can you blame them for destroying your stupid city, Tokyo?
Finally, we have radiation to blame for Gort. Gort would not be menacing the Earth's peoples but for our desire for Mutually Assured Destruction. Well, and the fact that we shot Klaatu. That was a dick move. I think Gort helped create Skynet while Klaatu was cavorting around with little Billy and the Professor. In a stroke of ironic irony, the Terminator (Arnold Class) is given an H-Bomb Fuel Cell, and Skynet uses all of our Nuclear Weaponry against us. Very clever, Gort. And we thought all you had was super strength and a laser eye.
As you can see, radiation is rarely used to vaporize millions of people instantly or power England, and it is only occasionally used to rebuild a Silicon-Based Alien Overlord from 150 Million Years Ago (see: Doctor Who: The Hand of Fear). Radiation is instead given ridiculous properties which have no doubt spurred many copycat deaths from irradiated spider-bites, Gamma Ray overexposure, and Giant Ant Attacks. When will Hollywood learn that in order to truly cripple the nuclear energy industry, all they have to do is make movies like The China Syndrome and release them right before a power plant goes critical?
I mean, seriously.
We now return to the previously scheduled Hu-man eating, already in progress.
How could this little fella be the problem? He's just a bunny rabbit! Shame on you, Stuart Whitman!
Possibly Vampires. Or Sabre-Toothed Tigers. Definitely not rabbits.
I took this photo for two reasons: 1) DeForest Kelly's bitchin' moustache, and 2) the swirly tuft on wheelchair scientist's noggin.
We're not sure what it used to say, but now it's dynamite.
Freud would say it's like dropping a microphone into a mineshaft. Oh, that's what he's doing? Huh.
