This may come as a surprise to you, dear readers, but after spending the last five days writing about Summer Fest, I'm pretty zonked out as movie writing goes. It's one thing for the Cap'n to produce something every day and then move on; it's another thing entirely to write up 17 recaps plus a non-movie picture post over the span of 120 hours. I'm also totally out of it as movie news goes, so if this blogorium is a little, shall we say, lacking tonight I apologize in advance.
Nevertheless, let's move forward, shall we?
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The one thing I saw today that made me chuckle was this silly rumor about a prequel trilogy to the Blade series starring Stephen Dorff. They would follow his character Deacon Frost as he ascends the vampire chain of command, only to be killed by Blade at the end of Blade. Oops. Guess that's a spoiler.
Since this isn't a remake I guess that doesn't bother me, and the really stupid idea of making three movies about a character I didn't care about in Blade isn't an issue either. Let's be honest here: this trilogy is never making it further than Direct to Video, no matter how excited New Line is. I know vampires are the new zombies and everybody is trying to draw teenage girls away from Twilight (which is stupid because there are no vampires in Twilight, no matter what Stephanie Meyer calls them), but a series of movies based on the villain of the first Blade is a waste of everybody's time.
The only conceivable way it could be interesting is if New Line somehow talked Parker Posey and Triple H to appear in all three of the movies, and if they played their roles as retarded-ly as they did in Blade: Trinity. Then I might rent the second one.
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You know when good actors show up in movies that look shitty from the trailer and you think to yourself "well, they either thought it would be better than it ended up being or it was just a paycheck?" That's what watching Adrien Brody in the trailer for Dario Argento's Giallo feels like. I'm inclined to believe it was the former rather than the latter in Brody's case, since he does take weird roles in small movies (like The Jacket). Based on the trailer, which I'm not going to bother linking to here, Giallo looks cheaper and more insipid than Mother of Tears, which is higher end Argento Crap. Phenomena, which also would qualify as high end Argento Crap, still looks like Gone with the Wind compared to both of them, but that was back when you didn't have to pretend new Argento might be good.
As I've said before, I'm a fan of Dario Argento's movies up to a point, but I'm not even going to defend anything he's done since The Card Player, including the awful Masters of Horror episodes. Sometimes it's best just to remember the "Masters of Horror" as they were, specifically Tobe Hooper, John Carpenter, Dario Argento, and yes, even Larry Cohen.
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Yeesh! I'm still talking about horror movies. I'd like to talk about something else, like the new MST3K box, or the Do the Right Thing Blu-Ray which has all the Criterion supplements, or even the MacGruber movie that will no doubt disappoint but who cares it's a MacGruber movie! Alas I have neither of the former and know only that the latter exists because I just read it. Oh, and Lonely are the Brave is finally out on dvd. It's a Kirk Douglas western, but a non-period western from 1962. I first saw it on TCM three or four years ago and was quite disappointed to discover it wasn't out on home video, so it's nice to see a quality movie finally hitting shelves. You should all check it out, even if "westerns aren't my thing."
Finally, I might consider checking out Street Fighter: The Rise/Legend/Whatever of Chun Li, because every review I find for it seems to indicate that it's the kind of movie polite company would refer to as "wicked retahded", and that for once in his life, Chris Klein steals a movie. I'm not saying it's time for another "Bad Movie Night" yet, but between this and Robo Geisha, the puzzle pieces could be falling into place...
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