Oh my goodness. How did Terrorvision escape my life for so long? How had I never seen, nor even heard, of this movie?
Major Tom brought over Terrorvision in VHS format for our consumption tonight, and regardless of what you've heard, it doesn't prepare you for the real deal.
This movie can roughly be described as "Ghoulies meets Videodrome" and that's totally accurate. What I would add are the following handy tidbits of information:
- Terrorvision is produced by Charles Band, of Full Moon Entertainment fame (or infamy). They're responsible for the Puppetmaster films, The Gingerdead Man films, Castle Freak, The Dead Hate the Living, Subspecies, and Sorority Babes at the Slime-Ball-Bimbo Bowl-O-Rama. He also produced Ghoulies, Rawhead Rex, From Beyond, and Robot Holocaust.
- During Chopping Mall, Adam asked "What else has Mary Woronov been in?", and the answer was Terrorvision. The film also features John Gries (Real Genius, Napoleon Dynamite, Lost) as a heavy metal dude, and Sonny Carl Davis (Where the Buffalo Roam, Fast Times at Ridgemont High).
- The movie has the most demented artwork you're ever going to see in what could be construed as a "kids" movie. By this I mean that Terrorvision takes and abrupt turn from straight-up horror comedy into Mac and Me territory in the third act, only to get even weirded before it ends.
- Terrorvision features an Elvira-ripoff named Medusa, who operates a Horror Show / Sex Phone Line. Seriously. It changes mid-movie for no apparent reason, but her show also closes one segment on an extreme closeup of Medusa's cleavage. I'm guessing it's a close as the camera could possibly get to her breasts.
- John Gries is rocking a poodle-like haircut with studded leather jacket and armbands. He's also wearing a WASP t-shirt and frequently makes references to being high or taking drugs. It's really silly. He also utters perhaps the best line in a movie full of great lines, "This dude is into metal!"
- Speaking of which, this movie is all kinds of crazy inappropriate for kids, which is odd seeing as the heroes are kid-to-teenage level. I realize that the older sister (Suzy) was 24 when she made the movie, but she looks like she's 14 max, which makes her dating Uncle Rico seem a little-pervish. He looks old even then, which doesn't help matter. The youngest kid, Sherman, spends 80% of the film with a loaded semi-automatic rifle pointed at people or being jostled around.
- The parents are, hrm, how shall I put this... fucked up. Rather than watch their kids, they go to a swingers party and bring him a floozy blonde and a foreign guy who is more interested in the husband than the wife. He says "How is your husband at taking it like a man? I am Greek, and I am into Greek life. I like the boys." That they're eaten by the alien (along with a gun-crazy Grampa) and subject to really nasty masturbation / fellatio jokes is actually a relief.
- The alien itself is alternately disgusting and endearing. I don't really know if you should be afraid of it or want to hug it, but it is slimy. It kills people in a way stunningly reminiscent of Troll 2, which was just strange.
Truthfully, I cannot recommend you track down this tape enough. Why it isn't on dvd is a crying shame, because it even has a theme song where the chorus is "Terrorvision!" I could tell you about this movie all night but it honestly doesn't paint a clear enough picture of how strange, inappropriate, hilarious, and marvelously fucked up Terrorvision really is.
Big ups to Major Tom for this discovery. Holy crap was that great.
Trivia junk: some of the movies visible during the "broadcasts" are Earth vs the Flying Saucers, Robot Monster, and The Giant Claw! Yes, the very same Giant Claw from Bad Movie Night. Adam had fond memories.
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