I don't know what I'm supposed to say about Chopping Mall. It's terrible, but it's perfect.
While I can't argue that there's no way a remake of this movie wouldn't be superior in just about every possible way, I would never want that to happen. This movie doesn't need an improved version, because the charm is in how much it works in spite of itself.
For example, Chopping Mall has no chopping whatsoever. While it does deliver on the promise of the Killbots (listed as Killbots in the opening credits), none of them ever do anything close to chopping. They kind of slice two guys, but no chops. Admittedly, when you come up with a quality pun like "Chopping Mall", you have to roll with it.
The following conversation took place during the film:
"You don't really need to do anything when you have a title like Chopping Mall"
"The script will pretty much write itself"
"And from the looks of it; it did."
And yet, it's hard not to love a movie that wants nothing more than to terrorize some kids in a mall with Killbots. They throw in some Dick Miller, some Paul Bartel, and some Mary Woronov. There's even a young Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator, From Beyond) as the girl in the dual layered leotard, but the Killbots are the stars of the show. The film just barely hits the 77 minute mark, and most of it is spent with the kids running from the Killbots or just Killbots killing people. I was bummed when the "jerk" character died so early, just because he was a d-bag, but not so bad you want him dead right away.
One final note: this movie may have even more bullets fired without reloading than Army of Darkness, which is quite a feat.
Fest Sidenote: At this point, Ad-Rock, the Cranpire and Major Tom begain drinking Wild Irish Rose. Just imagine how that went.
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