Thursday, July 30, 2009

From the Vault: Escaping from Escape from New York

editor's note: this illustrated essay is outdated in a number of ways. For one thing, Gerard Butler is no longer attached as Snake Plissken. At any rate, the Cap'n is more fond of the essay itself that the no-longer-relevant information. The pictures are cool, he says.

I think I've been staring at the computer screen too long, because my left eye's gone fuzzy and refuses to come back into focus. Groovy, but kind of annoying.

Speaking of people with one eye, it's as appropo a time as any to talk about John Carpenter's Escape from New York, the cult classic of 1981.



While I mentioned dystopias the other day, Escape from New York generally gets left out of this category because it isn't revered in the same way that movies like 1984 or Blade Runner are. EFNY dispenses with the rules of dystopia with simple introductory text informing us that in the then future, 1997, New York had become so lawless that a wall was erected around it and the city became one giant prison.

While on his way to an important meeting with the Chinese and the Russians, The President (Donald Pleasance)'s plane is taken down by a revolutionary, and he's lost in the middle of New York.



When other attempts to rescue him fail, Police Commisioner Bob Hauk (Lee Van Cleef of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly fame) decides to entice former soldier and legendary criminal Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) into going in to rescue him in exchange for a full pardon.



Of course, Hauk tricks Snake, and places two poison laced capsules in his throat, which will dissolve in 22 hours, so the clock is ticking and the movie has a sense of urgency. Snake flies into New York in a small gyroplane and begins the hunt for the President.



Along the way he runs into some familiar faces, all of whom assumed he was dead (a gag revived in the sequel Escape from LA) but he manages to get enough information from ex-partner Brain (Harry Dean Stanton), Cabbie (Ernest Borgnine), and Brain's flame Maggie (Adrienne Barbeau) to find out the President is being held by The Duke of New York (Isaac Hayes).




Of course, what kind of prison would New York be if things were that simple? Needless to say Snake gets double crossed and lands in the clutches of The Duke.



And because this is an action movie, in order to get the President free, Snake has to do some ass whooping on some oversized mongoloid wrestling types (the kind of whooping that involves spiked bats and no shirts.)



Now I don't think I need to tell you any more, because then what point would there be in seeing it for yourself? (and yes, I do recommend you see Escape from New York, cultish though it may be. this is one of the better products of the "dystopia / post apocalyptic action film" genre from the early 80's, which also contains 1999: Bronx Warriors, The Road Warrior, and Warrior of the Lost World) But what really makes Escape from New York work is Kurt Russell, who makes Snake Plissken iconic.



It's not just the eyepatch that never gets explained, or his rugged features; Russell tales Snake to new levels of anti-hero badassery by never caving from the original mission, no matter what he has to put up with in Escape from New York. He is the villain everyone wants to root for, and I'd dare say that Russell paved the way for the loose cannon hero in movies like Lethal Weapon.

But what we're really here to discuss is why the remake that New Line Cinema is so desperate to start is a bad idea. The obvious decision to leave Russell out of the equation is bad enough, especially considering his prominence in the forthcoming Grindhouse, where he plays a similar type of character, but the real problem isn't replacing him with Gerard Butler (Phantom of the Opera, 300), it's actually more crucial than that.

In the late seventies and eighties, New York was in a really shitty state, especially New York City. If you're curious, check out films like Taxi Driver for a good reflection of just how the city looked like a real life Mos Eisley, a "wretched hive of scum and villainy". In the pre-Giuliani clean up days, Times Square was the home for scummy Exploitation theaters, peep shows, and hookers, and it wasn't inconceivable that things would get so bad that eventually someone would say "that's enough" and cut the place off and turn it into a prison where the inmates could roam free.

Now, New York, much like Las Vegas, went through a "Cleaning" process, and that seedy scumball layer was pushed off of the surface, leaving the Times Square replete with MTV headquarters and wall to wall capitalism. It seems very unlikely that audiences would buy the lawlessness of New York City in the same way they did in 81. In fact, in a post 9/11 world, New York means something completely different than it did twenty six years ago.

While it can (and will) certainly be changed, Snake lands his plane on top of one of the Twin Towers. This is, of course, after a terrorist takes Air Force One down through a building in New York City, kidnapping the President. While New Line could conceivably not alter any of this, I sense that corporate pressure is going to change the way that the movie plays out in this "terrorist" age we live in.

It's not just that Escape from New York shouldn't be remade, it's that it really can't be made the same way it was in 1981, and for all intents and purposes, the studio mentality is only going to soften things. If I'm wrong, then the film will over compensate to cartoonish levels of macho, and then we end up with something like Escape from LA, which is interesting in an apocryphal sense, but not as any continuation of Snake Plissken's adventures.


yes folks, in Escape from LA, the "fight" scene is replaced with a high stakes game of basketball free throws. I am not kidding.

Escape from New York is not a film begging to be remade, nor should it, because John Carpenter crafted a film very much of its era, and to try to replicate it is going to look awfully silly, even without basketballs.

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