Frequently Asked Questions

But first, I'll get the final plug out of the way:

As many (read: all) readers of the blogorium know, tomorrow night is the beginning of Summer Fest, a four day celebration of horror-comedies, cheesy horror movies, and film in general.

If you're coming to this page for the first time, what we do is pretty simple: a group of cinemaniacs gets together, watches movies from dusk til dawn, gets some sleep, and starts over. Summer Fest is the sister marathon to Horror Fest, which takes places near Halloween every year. Since we're celebrating horror in the summer, we go see something playing in theatres and try not to scare the crap out of each other. That's what Halloween is for. The summer is all about having a good laugh, intentionally or otherwise, at ninety years' worth of genre fodder. You are welcome to join us.

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Tonight, since I'm not really in a "rant" mood and I've sufficiently pimped out Summer Fest, I figured it would be a good time to address questions based on things I say or take for granted that readers might know. I've compiled a list of Frequently Asked Questions to help clarify the more confusing aspects of Cap'n Howdy's Blogorium.

1. Why Cap'n Howdy?

I enjoy The Exorcist, for one. Another big one is that it's difficult to distinguish yourself on the blogger world, and while there are probably other Captain Howdy's out there, I settled on this one. That, or I'm secretly Dee Snider trying to trick you into visiting Strangeland.


2. Why do you call Lost "Dinosaur Island"?

Easy: For starters, the Island is full of mysteries. And dinosaurs. Just because we haven't seen ONE dinosaur in five seasons doesn't mean that it's not a Dinosaur Island. Because it is.

The actual, other truth, is that during the first episode of Lost, my at-the-time roommate and I were watching the scene where Smokezilla is tromping around in the forest at night while the 815'ers are freaking out. I suggested it was a Jurassic Park-esque scenario, at which point he guaranteed me he'd stop watching Lost the instant a dinosaur showed up. I've called it Dinosaur Island ever since.

3. You say you write every day, but does Trailer Sunday really count?

Here's why Trailer Sunday counts: I spend as much time (if not more) scouring YouTube for trailers I've never seen or think you might not know as I do writing the other six days of the week. There are Sunday's when I've actually spent MORE time hunting for just the right trailer than writing a blogorium post.

4. Who is the dude in the banner picture?

Doctor Re-Animator. Type "Move Your Dead Bones" into a Youtube search engine. Prepare to be amazed.

5. You seem to talk about Horror Movies and Remakes a lot. Is that all you do?

It isn't, but I understand how you could see the blogorium that way. I actually have an appreciation for all kinds of films and many of my very favorites are in no way horror or remakes. Why they don't necessarily get the same coverage is something I try to adjust regularly.

6. Seriously, dude: Horror Fest, Summer Fest, and Bad Movie Night. Just admit that's all you're into and we'll leave you alone.

Not technically a question, but a fair point. I've never said that enjoying all of those aren't a component of the cinephile I am. They are, however, not the defining factor of who the Cap'n is or what I enjoy. They are, admittedly, the easiest to celebrate with a group and really spread the love of cinema, so I gravitate towards marathons in that vein.

7. What are your top five favorite movies of all time right now?

At this moment? Okay, I'll give you five movies I can watch over and over again: Touch of Evil, Ghostbusters, Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Sunset Boulevard, and... fuck it. Tron.

8. Tron?

You heard me. Tron.


9. Since we all don't need to watch shitty movies, why do you insist on these "So You Won't Have To"'s?

I agree that none of us should (or probably will) waste our time with the movies I review in SYWHT, but the ones I choose are based on a curiosity factor. Even if we know there's no point in seeing them, there is some lingering question for details you can only really understand by seeing the movie. I do it so you won't have to, and impart the details I think will satisfy curiosity.

10. Why can I never see today's post until the following day?

You caught me. I work until midnight and rarely post before heading out, so I come home after midnight and adjust the timestamp. Technically speaking, it's already July 2nd as I'm writing this.

Final Question:

11. I'm in a horror movie, and the clock just struck midnight. Am I dead meat?

Probably, but if you can help it, try to stay alive past 3 a.m. I have this pet theory that 3 is pretty much the dead of night, so if you can make it to 4, you have a chance of lasting until sunlight. It's two hours away, tops. Even at midnight, there's a chance of finding other people around in public places and achieving safety in numbers, but since most places have last call between 2-3, you're pretty much screwed by that point in the night. Lock yourself somewhere safe and hope that watch is in your favor.