Keep it short but sweet.

The Cap'n made a brief trip down to Scary Town to visit Adam and the Cranpire, and to watch Teenage Mother again (per request). I have to say that my thoughts about Teenage Mother haven't changed much since the last time I saw it, but I did notice a few things the second time around that make the film more confounding:

- taking time to pay attention to the plot and dialogue (where there are such things), it's apparent that Teenage Mother isn't playing by any logic anyone ever heard of, including Hollywood logic. Things happen not because they need to or because someone wants them to, but just because it's faster this way. Characters appear and disappear and important plot points are jumbled around, dropped, or under-emphasized to the point where you have to wonder about what this movie is actually trying to say.

For example, after Arlene Sue's father finds out (from her 40 year old classmate) that his daughter is pregnant, he doesn't seem to remember or even mention it to Tony when they meet outside. Instead, Tony is worried about where Arlene Sue might be, and her father is convinced she's hanging out with friends. (In reality, she's at the Drive-In with butt chin and the whole gang, waiting to be chased down) For some reason apparent only to director Jerry Gross, the prospective father and grandfather-to-be never gab about the fact that Tony knocked up Arlene Sue, even if she did fake it (which they don't know). Instead, her father is more interested in holding a mock trial for the Sex-Ed teacher, and Tony's following the trail of breadcrumbs to butt-chin.

- The chronology is a little daffy, but I'm guessing you could place the story of Teenage Mother over 5 days, tops (day one: The stock car race. day two: the sex-ed class and the dance. day three: Tony fights butt chin in the bathroom. day four: Tony and Arlene Sue go to the beach and butt chin assaults the sex-ed teacher. day five: Arlene Sue fakes a pregnancy, runs away, runs back, and then admits she faked the whole thing). If you've noticed, this means that the entire flak from the Sex-Ed class is (in the film) based on one lesson, and it's not even an introductory lesson. The students never get their textbooks, so it's really hard for the parents to be that up in arms, leading up to the mock trial.

- Fred Willard looks younger than most of the students he's coaching.

- Even if Arlene Sue wasn't pregnant (as we should assume is so), the doctor couldn't tell the next day, no matter how long he's been practicing medicine.

- Cranpire thought the birthing scene was gross as well.